The SCAdian Next Door
Copyright 2008 by Jeff Suzuki
This is one of the few songs I actually have a title for, and it refers to one of the books about the SCA, The Knights Next Door; I haven't read the book, so I'm disinclined to give more detail about it. The music is from the Engineer's Drinking Song, AKA Godiva, AKA Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech, AKA my own The Mathematician's Drinking Song, etc., all of which are ultimately based on Charles Ives's Son of a Gambolier (1895).
I wrote this after returning from the War of the Roses Event (up near Albany) in 2008, where I heard some of the stories below (see the notes), and had a revelation. Every time I go to a gathering (be it professional, like a math conference, or recreational, like an SCA event), I come back with a lot of ideas, in large part from what I hear other people talking about and being inspired by their work.
I'll offer this song to the community at large: If you'd like to add verses, please do so; actually, I hope that one day, I'll hear this song...and none of the verses will be these. There are many, many more stories about where the SCA meets the real world; some of these stories are even true. I can vouch for two of the following (as I know the people involved). I'll include notes.
Chorus
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the S C A.
We go, we go we go we go medieval ev'ry day.
We're closer than you think we are, we live right next to you.
And here's a few things that you might have heard or seen us do!
An archer shot his bolt and knocked the king about the head.
His knights and squires and men at arms all thought that he was dead.
They went to the ER unchanged, this fully armored flock.
The king was fine, it was the nurse who went straight into shock!
Chorus
An ice storm cut the heat and lights in sunny Montreal.
Before the tenants froze to death, Dame Freya saved them all.
She said "I've got my camping gear and fifteen quarts of stock."
And so she fed and clothed and housed a frozen city block.
Chorus
A driver rolled his car while gawking at our Pennsic site.
A group of our own EMTs made sure he'd be all right.
Imagine his surprise to hear when consciousness arose
A Viking with an axe and shield say "Can you move your toes?"
Chorus
There was a Baron Master who'd been in since A.S. One
There was a comely college lass who thought to join the fun.
She walked into her first event and saw him dressed in blue.
She said "Professor, this is cool, I think you should join too!"
Chorus
The TV news said "We regret an error we have made.
About a group you saw last night in Oddballs on Parade.
We showed some mystic pagan rite in moonlight on the grass
We've been informed it was a Priest reciting Latin mass."
Chorus
A trucker swerved and lost control and spilled his lumber load.
The beams of pine and cedar stopped all traffic on the road.
Some fighters said "We'll move this wood, how long can clearing take?"
They wore their tabards yellow red and orange for safety's sake.
Chorus
A bandit feigned distress to prey on those who offered aid, For when they stopped to offer help, he'd ply his loathsome trade. Imagine his dismay, when one day in the dark, His trap brought in the Prince and Princess of fair Aethelmarc!
Final Chorus
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the S C A.
We go, we go we go we go medieval ev'ry day.
We're closer than you think we are, we live right next to you.
And there are many more things that you'll see or hear us do!
Notes
My own contribution is this: At my first real academic job, I was at a meeting and mentioned the SCA. One of my colleagues mentioned that while he was in graduate school, he knew someone who was in the SCA, who was king of the whole society or something. “Donald or David or something. His father was some economist or something...” he explained. At which point I said “You don't mean David Friedman?” David Friedman (SKA Cariadoc of the Bow) is one of the founding figures in the SCA, and the son of economist Milton Friedman.
The version I heard includes the Queen and her ladies in waiting. I've heard enough variations of this story to suspect that it's an urban legend, though based on an actual incident. The legendary parts about it: it seems to me that 1) ER staff aren't likely to be phased by anything, and 2) while I can imagine a bunch of SCAdians descending on a hospital ER in garb, I can't imagine a group of SCADians continuing to maintain their persona in an emergency situation.
According to this story, a driver rolled his car near the site Pennsic. The nearest ambulance was that on site, so they dispatched it, but by the time it got there a number of medically trained SCAdians had already arrived, including some doctors, nurses, and a lot of EMTs. I heard this story for the first time at the War of the Roses event, and after hearing it, I realized that there was a song in it.
The late Patrick Pugliese (SKA Patri du Chat Gris, Laurel and Pelican) was the Baron of Carolingia for many years. He also taught at Harvard, and according to one story, one of his students approached him at her first event with a “Professor Pugliese! How long have you been in the SCA?” As it turned out, he'd been in longer than she'd been alive...
This is documentably true, and occurred during the Great Ice Storm of 1998. Power was knocked out, and the emergency services were evacuating people to shelters. Besides her camping gear, Freya offered the use of a lot of warm clothes (cloaks and the like) to help those in need.
The part I can vouch for is that the Today show ran a segment on Pennsic, including some footage of some sort of religious ritual. What I don't remember is whether they identified the ritual, but the story is that they identified it as pagan. After it aired, they got several calls (including...such is the nature of urban legend...a call from the representative of a local diocese) who informed them it was actually an ordained priest, giving a medieval Latin mass.
This one I heard from one of the people involved. The story is as follows: they were on their way back from Pennsic, when they ran into a massive traffic jam caused by aforementioned lumber truck. The Highway Patrol was already on site, waiting for a DOT crew to clear the road. One of the SCA-types present asked if there was any reason they couldn't clear the road; the trooper said that he wouldn't stop them. Between the SCAdians (and the motorists who joined in), they had the road clear enough to get traffic moving long before the DOT arrived.
This one is also verifiably true (though I added the bandit part...after all, what's the point of having an urban legend without embellishment). The short version: the man had attacked the driver of one vehicle, then ran to the other side of the road and flagged down a car...the wrong car (from his perspective). Police were on the scene and took the man into custody.
