Suetonius
Introduction
Voidicia ended with the victory at Camelodonum, but it would be cheating to end the story there. I suspect this is why Shakespeare didn't write the story: there's no good way to end it (at least, not in Elizabethan England). When I discussed the story with Jacqui, she asked a very important question: At the end of the play, what does the highest ranking survivor say? In the story, the highest ranking survivor is Suetonius, who led the legions to victory against the Iceni, and once I figured out what he said, the rest was easy, requiring only blood, sweat, toil, and tears...
Suetonius
My friends, as you may know, the Celts of Britain began a great uprising against the Romans in the time of Nero Caesar. Led by Voidicia, the Queen of the Iceni, the Celts marched upon the colonna of Camelodunum and destroyed it, slaying every living thing and setting what remained it to the torch.
When Decianus, the corrupt Procurator of Britain, heard of this disaster, he called upon his legions forth. The commander of all the legiosn of Britannica was Suetonius Paulinus, who had distinguished himself twenty years before by subduing the Mauritani of Africa who raised a like revolt. But a dispute with Suetonius Paulinus had led to his dispatch to Anglesey, where he might fight the druides, and so display his martial might 'gainst bare-faced acolytes and aging priests.
Decianus called forth Petilius Cerialis, commander of the ninth legion, and bid him meet with Paulinus to destroy the rebels. But Cerialis, himself a rising star among the legions, sought his own triumph, and thus spoke to the Procurator: "Happily would I serve with fabled legend, the hero...of my father's youth. No man denies his place amongst his peers, an honored Nestor who has thrice raised quaking youths to men of valor. But trouble not his sunset years with foes unworthy, nor tire his weary frame with trial of battle. The clash of arms is better left to those whom youthful virtues still possess: strength, and speed---no match for ancient wisdom, 'tis true, but this Queen no Hannibal be. She may lead her clan to easy vict'ry 'gainst senile veterans, doddering in their decreptitude, but I shall make this hoarfrost vanish ere the Roman sun.” Thus Decianus agreed to send Cerialis north against the Iceni, and keep Suetonius in distant Anglesey, where he might keep the druids from raising new revolt.
Meanwhile, Voidicia spoke to all the tribes who dwelt in Britain ere the Romans. "Put aside your ancient quarrels and rise against these so-called men, who must bathe in warm water and sleep on soft beds, with boys for bedfellows (and boys past their prime at that). Fear not their legions, for Romans fight by spear alone, while will war with hand and heart and mind. By our valor win back our land and property, so our posterity will know freedom and liberty as more than words in empty air."
And so the Iceni were joined by the Trinovantes, the Brigantes, the Catuvellauni, the Cornovii. And runners went to rouse the Silures, the Ordovices, the Cantiaci. Soon Voidicia led two hundred thousand men and women. When Petilius engaged them, not knowing their number, his infantry was destroyed and he and his cavalry alone escaped. He carried word to Suetonius and was so shamed at being defeated by a woman that he fell on his sword and expired.
Suetonius marched quick to Londinium, but when he arrived felt dismay, for the city's walls were weakly built and scarcely manned. The citizens scuttled to him, begging his protection, but seeing their shameful panic, he addresed them. "Briton blood has brought you wealth, which you squandered on fine estates in far off Rome, while spending but a pittance for defenses here. You would not spend your silver then; I will not spend my men's lives now. Flee or die: I care not." And thus he abandoned the city to the Iceni, who arrived shortly thereafter and slew the negotiatores and fifty thousand of their fellows, and took back tenfold what they had lost. Voidicia counseled them to seek out and destroy the legion of Suetonius, but as it was nowhere to be found, they marched instead against Verulamium, near St. Albans, and likewise pillaged it.
Seeing the foe's vast numbers and savage charges, Suetonius's commanders counseled retreat to Gaul to gather reinforcements. But Suetonius rebuked them.
"Our foes be many, but stay your flight and hear my words. Decianus foolishly provoked them, and Camelodunum fell before their wrath. Petilius rashly thought to hold back the tide, and was himself engulfed. They fell on Londinium, and there they found the taste of gold. Now they cast aside the cloak of rightful vengeance, and don the mask of thieves. Rome fights best when placed at bay! In triple front we face the foe, for now we fight for life and home, while they contest for gains material."
So Suetonius positioned his men so that the Celts would have to charge against a narrow front, thereby blunting their number. Six times they charged, and six times the Romans held their place, each Roman death paid in full a hundredfold. When Voidicia saw that her cause was lost, she cried "If victory be denied, then I will die by mine own hand. This is a woman's resolve; as for men, they may live and be slaves." With that she took poison and fell dead, and the Romans pressed forward, scattering the last of the rebels.
Her body was brought before Suetonius, who said: "She was but a weak and feeble woman, rude in thought, unlettered and unschooled. Yet she led her land to heights Olympian. What a pity she were not born one of us, and what relief. For Rome will surely fall to one like her, learned and lettered and born to rule."
Notes
The dispute with Suetonius was manufactured for dramatic purposes. But it's not improbable.
Yes, that's a pun, wrapped in a metaphor.
Strictly speaking, only the Trinovantes joined the Iceni. The Catuvellauni and the Brigantes might have joined in, but the Cornovii (Cornwall), Cantiaci (Kent), Silures and Ordovices (Wales) were simply too far away to take part.
This is the aforementioned speech of the highest ranking survivor. If Shakespeare had written about Voidicia/Boudicca, I like to think that he would have ended the play this way, with a none-too-oblique reference to Elizabeth.