The SCA Grove

After doing a whole sequence of filks to non-period music (The SCA Bunch, Fighter Jock, Blue Passant Tiger, Summer of A.S. IX), I'm trying to get back to period contrafacts. I compromised: this filk is to Ash Grove, which dates back to the early 1700s.

For a while, I've wanted to do a song about kids growing up in the SCA. This is partially based on two stories that might be urban legends, except I heard them first-hand from the people involved. A lot of the other things are autobiographical. I've footnoted them, so you can read about them afterwards. I finished this on January 26, 2008.

When I was a young lad I joined recreators

Who cherished the past and loved learning its ways

I met my dear wife there and soon we had children

A boy and a girl who've now reached their school days

In open house season we went to their classroom

But all of the parents and staff tried to hide.

I asked “What's the problem?” and that's when their teacher

Took hold of my hand and then led me aside.

She said, “I'm accustomed to watching their antics

At recess their cries of 'Lay on' are quite cute.

And if they use words such as defenestration

And call the sky azure, that's really a hoot.

Your children are joys and I'm happy to teach them

They're quite well behaved and so eager to learn.

Believe me I know this is really quite awkward,

But there are a few things that cause us concern.

“They say that their mother's a mistress to someone

And you've helped the king to kill many a man.

They say that their spelling is good for old English

And their uncle's master of some southern clan.

At craft time they made up some working contraption

I called it a catapult, which made them laugh.

Good sir, will you tell me, what cult are you part of.

Should I call the cops and the counseling staff?”

I smiled and I said there's a good explanation

I sat down and told her of the SCA.

We're regular people who've got some odd int'rests

Like brewing and dancing the whole night away.

And now there's no problem, for she's joined our canton

She's working away on a High Tudor gown.

Her class now does chain mail and she's started fencing

And she's got the principal fighting in crown!

1. Some of the things in this song are autobiographical: I did meet my wife in the SCA and she is in fact a Mistress; we do have two children, a boy and a girl; one of their SCA uncles is a Master.
2. One of the inspirations of this song is a story told to me by Catherine o'Rhydd Ford. (I include the name because I want to emphasize that this is not an urban legend: I got the story from the people involved) She was called into school one day because her son (then in preschool) had hit another child. The story went something like this: First, her son put a (football) helmet on the other kid, then one on himself. Then he gave the other kid a (plastic) baseball bat, then got one for himself. Then...well, you know where this story is going.
3. A second inspiration came from Lucan, multiple king of the East (and again, I mention him by name because I want to emphasize that this happened to someone, really). During an Open House, the teacher made some comment about how his son had a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. When they asked for details, she said that he was asked to describe his family, and he started out by saying tha this father was king and his mother was queen...Although I originally wrote "the king", I began substituting "your lord" at some point.
4. If I understand the terminology correctly, a catapult is torsion-driven device, whereas a trebuchet is counterweight driven. I can see this happening: the other day someone commented that our daughter was making a boat (with lego blocks); she corrected them and said she was making a Viking longship...
5. I wanted to make sure this song was not a typical “freaking the mundanes” song, in part because I'm of the opinion that what we do in the SCA is what a lot of people want to do...but they just can't bring themselves to do it.
6. I wanted to make this the football coach, but elementary schools don't have coaches. (Or do they? I guess we'll find out soon enough...)

Update: I performed this at the 2014 Bardic Champions, and Maestra Sol y Cantor was kind enough to record it and provide a link.