The Duel of the Guildsmen

Dueling Guildsmen

For a long time I've wanted to write a song about the on-going battle over who contributes the most to the SCA, mainly because I'm tired of hearing about it: it's like asking which leg of a tripod is the most important. There's a nice parallel to Babylon 5, for the main peerage orders in the SCA represent the warrior (chivalry), priest (laurel), and worker (pelican): those who fight; those who create the culture; and those who make it function. However, I'd had some difficulty getting a song going.

After dropping my father off at the airport after his annual visit to see his grandchildren, the pieces began to come together. I wrote the first draft of this song while driving back from the airport on May 21, and finished it on the way to (and from) work on May 22. The tune is Dargason.

The punchline is...after the song.

There was a proud knight long ago Who said that all around should know "With out my skill and martial arms We'd have no cities, towns or farms. "Though that be true," a black smith said "With out my work you'd soon be dead. "Your value's great, but mine is more For making steel from fire and ore." At that the cook threw up her hands "You need me at my pots and pans. It's plain as day for all to see That none can live in spite of me!" The brewer said "No doubt we could On plainer food that's just as good, Washed down with ale or beer or mead, It's my concoctions that you need." "I keep you safe from Viking raids!" "My tongs and hammer make your blades!" "My tarts and roasts all fortify!" "A lack of beer makes grown men cry!" They argued late into the night Each one convinced that they were right The most important work a bout Was clearly theirs with out a doubt. At length a voice cried "Hold! Be still! This land needs ev'ry trade and skill! We teach or clean or wear a helm And each bring something to this realm. "So if you think your task is key Remember this small melody Just do the thing that you do best And thank the others for the rest!"

Notes

1. Originally I had another stanza:
  1. The seamstress asked "Would you go bare?" On turner's plates you eat your fare. The scribe said ev' ry grant of land Cannot be quit with out my hand.
2. However, I started to feel badly about it. For example, I've never heard a scribe claim they were essential to the operation of the SCA.
3. All right, I can't help but point out the punchline, which I'll bury in a whole lot of words. The song is ostensibly about the idea that no one is more important than anyone else: all are needed to make society or The Society function smoothly. If you don't think about it, that's exactly the message you come away with. On the other hand, if you think about it...who points this out? And that's why you never annoy a bard...