Sunday Humour 24th May
Sunday Humour 24th May
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
What I Want In A Man!
Original List:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer thing
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I 'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
Australia's hottest new pop group!
All the greatest hits...including:
Money, Money, Money (It's a White Man's world)
Drinking Queen
Walkerloo
The White Man Takes It All
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (An Apology)
"S.O.S." (Social Outback Services)
The Name Of The Game Is Blame
Does your mother know (you’ve been stolen)
Knowing me, suing you
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do (Drink too much)
Lay All Your Handouts On Me
One of Us (Is scared of the dark)
Ring, Ring (I ain’t got no bloody telephone ‘cause the Government won’t give me one.)
And Many More
If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu
- ignore it.
It's just spam