Sunday Family Humour 19th July
Sunday Family Humour 19th July
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
A very special thank you to all contributors.
Jokes to offend everyone
Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying
her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for God sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
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My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die
you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not listening'
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I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.
I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle
backwards, gets in the car and drives off.
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Today a Pakistani was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and
shot twice.
Police in Bradford said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.
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Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.
She asks what are they made of.
The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that.
The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.
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Japanese eye test
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!
If you cannot decipher
anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Japanese. It works.
700 year old cave dwellings in Iran
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Signature tune to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Played on strings and voice
Just when you think you have seen it all
This is one car.............what a paint job!!
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11th husband
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What" said the puzzled groom? "How can that be if you've been married ten times..?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband # 6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........God I miss him.
"But now that I've marry d you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the "GOVERNMENT this time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."
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