Sunday Family Humour 17th January Page 2
Thanks to Tony
Stereotypical differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job.
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.
Amazing Pencils
Thanks to Lee
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Greetings from Calgary,
These images come from Ed Bouvier who drives the Tundra Buggy and lives at the camp. He has just packed up to go home now after spending 45 days on the Tundra – imagine. During his internment he has sent out exclusive pictures from the camp via satellite internet and over the weekend I finally put a few images together to share with you. Fairly impressive stuff . A couple pics below come from Ian Thorliefson. He says he is not a professional photographer but judge for yourself.
Ed’s comments were that the bears all appear healthy and fat this year. He also indicated he has never seen so many groups of bears at the lodge that get along and even sleep in heaps together as they wait for Hudson Bay to freeze over. In one picture he has 15 bears all in the same frame. Quite an amazing place recently featured on animal planet.
The Great White Bear Lodge is actually a train of cars with big soft tires that they tow out and park on the Tundra, often under the constant glow of the northern lites.
This is the spacious lounge car but there are also sleeping cars and a kitchen and dining room.
Sunrise and sunset are usually spectacular even though it is in the minus 20 range.
People sleep at the Lodge and head out every day in Tundra Buggies looking for bears. These ones were like squeegee kids and were cleaning the tundra buggy.
The bears loaf around for weeks just waiting for the ice to freeze so they can get out and hunt for seals. At this stage they have probably not eaten since June or July.
And because the sea is so salty the ice takes a long time to freeze before it supports the weight of a bear.
What’s all this fuss about a Polar Bear dip, anyway?
The big males spar but seldom hurt each other. Later they will fall asleep together.
Kissing cousins
My, my, what big teeth you have…
Single white female looking for companionship… Any man will do!
Same gal after the sun came up…
Other denizens of the arctic like to hang around the Lodge too – like this Arctic Fox.
Or these Mirror Wolves.
Long-tailed Weasel.
Mom’s even bring their cubs of the year to the camp in spite of the big males.
This shaggy guy is very curious – and dirty too.
It appears the Camp is of great interest and every angle is explored. Ed told me they even climb the flagpole and eat the flag!!!
This guy found a gap by the generator car and was interested in nabbing a passing drumstick for an overdue supper.
Whenever outside work is required they call this guy to come out. It looks like he is pushing the bears away.
OK, what’s wrong with this idea? Wonder what they would do for a fire drill out here?
Stroll outside after dinner, anyone? Apparently this may be a new record with 15 bears all grouped together.
Hmm, if bears are essentially hermits over the summer, does this congregation then represent a ‘Hermitage of Bears’?