When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different.

A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

Buen Mesero

(Whatever that means!)

Thanks to Ray

The farmer and a vet.

Thanks to John H.

The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving milk.

The town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite cheaply.

They brought the cow from Wales and it was wonderful,

produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so

they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever

the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move

away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed..

The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who

was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said.,

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.

If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side.

"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned

that they had brought the cow over from Wales .

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.

"How did you know we got the cow from Wales ?

"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,

"My wife is from Wales"

10 Complaints From dogs

Thanks to Lee

For the dog lovers :-)

--------------------------

'2'

Yelling at me for barking...

I'M A DAMN DOG!

--------------------------

'3'

Taking me for a walk, then

not letting me check stuff out.

Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

--------------------------

'4'

Any trick that involves balancing

food on my nose. Stop it!

--------------------------

'5'

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.

Now you know why we chew your stuff

up when you're not home.

--------------------------

'6'

The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.

You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what

a proud moment for the top of the food chain!

--------------------------

'7'

Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting

surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

--------------------------

'8'

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.

Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing

yet.

--------------------------

'9'

Dog sweaters. Hello?

Haven't you noticed the fur?

--------------------------

'10'

How you act disgusted when I lick myself.

Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

--------------------------

Now lay off me on some of these things.

We both know who's boss here!

You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

---------------------------

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.

A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!

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Old Folks Driving

Thanks to Tony

Even old folk need their laughs!

Doggie Talk

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