Sunday Family Humour 13th September Page 2
Sunday Family Humour 13th September Page 2
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
A very special thank you to all contributors.
Ghandhis top 10 fundamentals for changing the world
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops
of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would
suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.”
“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”
Mahatma Gandhi needs no long introduction. Everyone knows about the man
who lead the Indian people to independence from British rule in 1947.
So let’s just move on to some of my favourite tips from Mahatma Gandhi.
1. Change yourself.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake
the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake
ourselves.”
2. You are in control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
3. Forgive and let it go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”
5. Take care of this moment.
“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of
the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”
6. Everyone is human.
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow
mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and
to retrace my steps.”
“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be
reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”
7. Persist.
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then
you win.”
8. See the good in people and help them.
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I
won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”
“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare
of his fellow-men.”
“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means
getting along with people.”
9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in
harmony.”
“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim
at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”
10. Continue to grow and evolve.
”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to
maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false
position.”
Amazing Power Tools
Thanks to Ray
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Father Norton plays golf
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church.
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of
it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked,
"Why did you let him do
that?"
The Lord smiled and replied,
"Who's he going to tell?"
Gravity Back Scratcher
Guess the Nationality
Guess The Nationality
American?
Swiss?
Spanish?
French?
Italian?
<><><><><><><><><>
All wrong......... POLISH!
Don't believe it?
Okay, take a look...
<><><><><><><><><>
H
H
H
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So, what were you thinking?
Remember - Keep Smiling! It makes people wonder what you're up to!
The Great Physician
Thanks to Lee
