Rite of Passage

[Rough Draft]

Example of a Rite of Passage for an upcoming ceremony

(Poison Ivy, part 1) I thought I was immune...and then I found a small fluid filled blister that eventually turned into an army of rash that marched from my hands across my arms onto my legs throughout my face and then even all over my little buddy. Over time, like a sunburn, my skin died and peeled off and that was how my body discovered Poison Ivy for the first time

For me, Poison Ivy was such a  blessing because it brought me on a 3 week spiritual  journey. On this journey, I understood that Poison Ivy is a physical metaphor of a Poisoned Mind.  Just as a Poisoned Mind tortures through endless mental loops, Poison Ivy tortures through endless itching.  Below are the similar stages of itching and mental loops:

1. Even as I commanded myself not to itch, most itching sessions began when I unconsciously started itching.  Similarly, even after I consciously command myself not to enter into hurtful mental loops, they always bleed into my thoughts from the subconscious without warning.  The frequency of these subsconscious events that trigger unwanted reactions increases as I become more stressed. 

2. Once my subconscious causes me to itch, my conscious mind cannot stop it.  Consciously, I know it is bad to itch... but it feels so good and there is always a promise of relief.  Similarly, when a mental loop starts, even though I know it will be destructive and consume hours of my time, I cannot stop it.  Through the medaphor of Poison Ivy, I realize better now, that the reason I perpetuate these negative mental loops is because it always comes with the promise of relief: the hope that a new solution will arise from the same stale cycle of thought.

3. After I finish a mental loop or an itching session, there is always self loathing as I always feel much worse.

What is fascinating is that there were moments when my entire arm would be on fire and somehow I could enter into a state of mind where I was at peace with the fire.  I would not respond and I would not itch...I would just let it burn and accept it as a reflection of a new reality. I want to enter into that mental state more often. 

(Poison Ivy, part 2) I found my 3 week virginal journey through poison ivy to be spiritual, where I discovered parallels between the cycles of itching and the cycles of unwanted mental loops.  Both incessantly cried and begged for attention and both promised relief and yet both only spread the poison and fire of inflammation that lead to self-loathing and more pain. And though I failed many times, there were moments of balanced peace where I could soothe my mushrooming frustration and stress, and coexist without response to the unrestrained desire of passionate self-destructive itching.  

It is then that I started dreaming: what if I could immerse myself within the fury of poison ivy and coexist in a sustained state that is balanced between frustration, desire and peace?  What if poison ivy isn’t my enemy but rather a gateway to the next stage of my journey. Since then, I resolved not to destroy the poison ivy in my yard but rather relocate it and give it respect and love. In this picture I am intimately cradling poison ivy after deciding that next summer, during my reBirth ceremony, I will bathe myself in its divine oil as a Rite of Passage. 

I can appreciate the view that rites of passage are anachronistic vestiges of older days when society falsely saw them as being metrics for success.  And yet, there is a part of me that thinks that the rites of passage are especially vital in the modern world as technology and society limit the span of primal human experiences.   What is the Destiny and trajectory of Humanity? Maybe as we make life more comfortable and less monotonous and hide away things like old age into retirement homes, we are becoming more emotionally fragile and spiritually complacent.  Maybe it is essential for our journey and our spiritual resilience to experience sustained stress and discomfort….and maybe we need to replace some of the lost dangers of Nature with rites of passage that safely push us through stress, pain, misery, and failure.  (thanks to my mother for taking the picture)

(Bliss and Terror, part 1)  Lost in a deep hole, I tore with my bare hands at a network of roots, and hours later, I learned of my hidden tryst with poison ivy.  The next two weeks were like a tortured dream of ecstasy as I rode waves of pleasure and pain.  In that time, rashes spread across my body until eventually the skin died and peeled away like a sunburn. The rashes even reached my little guy….and it was truly magical. 

When I was younger, frustration was a brutal enemy that choked and then drowned me in misery until I layed mired and helpless.  But as I have aged and as my art has blossomed, frustration has become a divine blessing that maddeningly drives me to feel life more deeply.  It dispels my complacency and turns me into a salivating beast with unwavering and singular focus. Because I only have a moderate reaction to poison ivy, it is a gift of agonizing bliss from the gods. Eventually I will form a ritual around this 😉