[Rough Draft]

The Cock Revealing Ceremony, which is where I gave my virginity as well, happend on December 17th, 2021.  We originally had chosen December 18th because it was the full moon, however because of an oncoming snowstorm, we did it one day before.  The full moon played an important role in many of our ceremonies. The first kiss ceremony happend on the Full Hunter Moon, the first meeting with Elizabeth's divine friend happened on the Full Beaver moon and this ceremony happened on the Full Cold Moon.  In this rough draft, I will describe the ceremony and at some later point I will add my feelings and experiences as well.  Elizabeth gave her permission to allow me to share this vastly important ceremony and experience. 

Pre-Ceremony Preparations

Preparing the space

The Cock Revealing Ceremony happened in my backyard and so I had to prepare the Earth for the special event.  First, I collected sticks that my Earth provided for the ceremony, they were sumac, catalpa, oak and maple.  These sticks represented my identity and I attached tarps to them to make a womb-like shape.  The sticks were reinforced with stumps that also had symbolic significance. Many of them came from the Tree of Death and so represented the death (and therefore rebirth) of an era of my life.  

On opposite sides of the sacred space were two large wooden pieces that had vaginal shape, next to one of them was another stump with a beautiful vaginal shape.  The one on the left, I found in my yard and is most likely from a Maple. I had it sit outside for a year or more so that it could become bleached from the sun which is what gives it that magical silvery color.  The one on the right is a breathtakign piece that I chainsawed off a beautiful massive Maple tree that fell in Arlington.  I also made the CuddleBuddy and a cutting board from that same wood and some of the firewood for the ceremony came from that tree as well. The piece towards the left (in the right picture) is part of a Maple tree that was cut down because the landscapers thought the crevice was a disease that would spread to other trees...so they killed that poor tree! I requested to take that diseased part of the tree and from it I made another divine vaginal sculpture. They all represented the female energy in the Cock Revealing Ceremony. 

In the center was my firepit that contained wood from the neighboring town of Arlington.  To prepare the space, I cleaned it and then trampled the winter earth with my bare feet and finally combed it with a rake to give it a zen garden vibe.  

Near the firepit I placed my ceremonial wooden bowl that I made from the Tree of Life and filled it with shavings from the Tree of Life and a piece of the Tree of Death.  This was to represents the cycles of Life and Death. 

The video below summarizes the Pre-Ceremony Preparation

Ceremonial Preparations

Once Elizabeth arrived, as part of the Ceremony itself, we prepared the space and the spirit. 

Preparing the Food

Consumption of food is a core component of many ceremonies. I made a very healthy dish in the slow cooker.  In our discussions we wanted to include food that had symbolic importance.  Since the Cock Revealing Ceremony was about nudity where I gave my virginity, it represented themes of life, death, fertility, reproduction and blood.  We chose the pomegranate because historically it has symboically represented these themes. 

Preparing the Nest

Originally I had wanted to wait to give my virginity in a Virginity Giving Ceremony where I would make a nest and do a mating dance.  However, for a variety of reasons which I will write about later (after I re-read my journal entry), I decided to give my virginity during the Cock Revealing Ceremony.  Instead of a nest, we prepared a bed where I would sleep next to a romantic partner for the first time ever.  My bed was too small because it is a twin bed, so instead we set up an air mattress in the living room.  In this picture I am wearing cat-pants that Elizabeth gave me, which is part of the Elizabeth Collection. 

Preparation of Self

In the Cock Revealing Ceremony I would dance around a fire, using my rebirth ceremony of 2020 as an inspiration.  Because this was a transformative event, I wore my Jacket of Transformation.  On the front are my Creatures of Destiny who age from left to right and are above a series of black and white lines that represent the passage of time.  I made the inside of the jacket to look like the wings of a butterfly which represents metamorphosis.  I chose to wear my cock-and-pussy pants which represent the dance of mating.  In this picture you cannot see the designs on the pant, so if you are interested, check out my clothing page.  

Underneath, I wore a loin cloth that I designed with Elizabeth. Elizabeth provided the cloth and embroidered the cat and two frogs. I embroidered the rooster.  The cat (a pussy) and rooster (a cock) refer to the dance of romance and reproduction and this symbolism comes from my Cock and Pussy pants.  The cat has more meaning because Elizabeth gave me cat pants and owns 2 cats.  The frogs represent transformation and metamorphosis which I was experiencing during the Cock revealing ceremony.  They also refer to two frogs that sit in Elizabeth's home that she was gifted from her grandmother. Coincidentally, frogs were also a theme of my First Date Ceremony with another person (check the Romance page). The pussy-cat and cock are inside semicircles which represent my creatures of destiny and you can see that they are connected to the frogs. This symbolism also occurs in my other clothing art (check the main clothing page). 

Ceremony

Incantation 

Elizabeth recited an incantation to begin the Ceremony.  She chose this passage because it had primal vibes that connected to my exploration of the Human Identity and its relation to the animal world.  In my dance, I would squat, which also connects to this poem. Looking back, the passage has even more meaning.  This website, my mythological universe of SOMDEland, and the structure of my artwork and ceremonies is my heart and soul.  Perhaps, in a way, it is one reason why Elizabeth broke up with me a year after the Cock Revealing Ceremony.  And so, as I write this on 12/20/2022, it is like I am consuming my own heart and soul and it is bittersweet because I lost a gorgeous girlfriend.  But at the same time, as I record everything we did on my website, I find what we did to be profoundly beautiful and I like it....maybe because it is bitter and it is me. 

After the incantation, we fed each other pomegranate seeds. 

Dance

I originally experimented with dance in my rebirth ceremony of 2020 where I wanted to feel true and free emotions and enter into an altered state of mind without any drugs or alcohol. I wanted to feel an ancient and primal energy while dancing around the fire.  When designing the flow of this dance, I had all of these elements in my mind.  While I structured it beforehand, I was not imprisoned or held by it during the actual dance.  I was free to do whatever I wanted, either the flow I designed or something very different.  As I was dancing, Elizabeth was making fascinating and exquisite guttural vocalizations.  In those moments I felt accepted and it is a cherished memory. 

Dance 1: The self creation of  universe dance

I started out on the ground in a fetal state, similar to my rebirth ceremony of 2020.  I imagined being in the womb, completely alone and self contained within my own universe. I concentrated on feelings of life and death, and of being umbilicially connected to the Earth. I tried sensually merging with the frozen winter ground while in a meditative state.  I combed the Earth and I explored the Earth and I experienced the Earth. 

From there I went into a crawl and then squat position both which have primal vibes and connects to the theme of frogs which has been a repeating theme in my romantic collaborations.  The squat is both vulnerable and powerful. I also concentrated on feelings of being in a mixed state of anxiety: being both merged and wrapped in the womb but also the desire to escape from it.

The squat turned into being on all fours to elicit an animalistic feeling. 

Dance 2: Feelings of the 'wall'

As I grow into a human and am born into the world, I create a protective artist exoskeleton that defines my identity but, in doing so, I create what the outside world sees as a 'wall'.  In the dance there is soem separation and defiance.  Stylistically the dance has some agressive movements similar to what I do with weights when working out.  The aggression is not towards anyone but towards propelling forward in what I do.  This represents my life journey before entering into romance which is why it is so focused on myself. During this time Elizabeth is not paying attention. 

It also has elements of the Chickadee dance that I choreographed in my rebirth 2020.  

At some points, I jumped to represent the frog, where the jumping represented a mixed state of going up while being pulled down.  Maybe then destiny inevitably pulls us always down. 

I start to take some clothing off where the clothing represents the wall. 

Dance 3: Possibility & Uncertainty 

We see each other. Are you for real? What do you think about it? Are we scared?

Dance 4: Full Frontal Nudity :)

By this time, I was focusing on feelings of openness and vulnerability.  I was wearing the shamanistic outfit that Elizabeth made along with the loin cloth that we made together.  My dance was more fluid and freely flowering. Together we moved around the fire, which has some similarities to an indian wedding, which for many (especially in the old days), is the first time they are nude in front of a romantic partner. As I danced, I removed all of my clothing and became emotionally very vulnerable and also physically vulnerable because the cold winter air had a savage bite.  

In the previous dances my eyes were mostly closed but here my eyes were open seeing Elizabeth's reaction.  What will Elizabeth think? Am I dragging her into this? Does she really want to participate? Will she think this is just a wall? Will she accept me? Will she see the beauty in  this ceremony which is my soul? Will I really feel free enough to completely express myself in silliness in the dance or will I be inhibited? 

Dance 5: Unity

Taking the blanket that she was wearing, Elizabeth wrapped it around us, to symbolically signify that she was letting me into her heart.  We focused on feelings of peace, tranquillity, acceptance and unity. 

Creation 

After the dance, Elizabeth cut my pubic hair which is connects to the lineage of hair ceremonies that I have done.  My hair ceremonies happen when I undergo am important transformation. We mixed my cut pubic hair into the shavings of the Tree of Life and the Tree of Death and offered it to the fire. The fire also represents transformation and is related to the hindu ritual of havan.  Then my little fellow was bathed in crushed pomegranate juices.  

Dissemination 

To represent dissemination we spread the pomegranate seeds on the ground and blew milkweed seeds  across my childhood lands to inseminate the earth and start the new cycle of life.  The picture shows a beautiful moment where a floating milkweed seed was caught in the updraft of the fire and illuminated with a red from the fire below and a silverly light from the full moon.  

Intention Setting

For me, the most important thing was to develop a life long friendship with Elizabeth even if we broke up in the future.  At the time, Elizabeth felt that a breakup is often a clean cut and keeping a friendship alive is difficult, however, after sharing my soul, it was so important to me to set the intention to try our best to keep a life long friendship.  A month later, we exchanged time capsules that would be opened 10 years later.  In the case we broke up, this time capsule will give us a reason to contact one another and try to grow a friendship if it did not take root immediately after the break up.