The Family Unit: Sacred or Merely Human?

One idea that has been highly influential in the world has been the sanctity of the family unit. It has been opposed by the idea that family is a patriarchial institution that oppresses women, and that women should avoid family life.

Both are wrong.

I am a dedicated and loving father, and I do not need the idea of sanctity of family to remain one. My daughter knows that I love her. Whereas the man who needs to hide behind the institution of family is, most likely, a bad father.

Whenever anything gets elevated to the status of sanctity, it takes it above rational scrutiny. And that leads to corruption. We saw that with the Divine Right of Kings; we saw that with Muslim institutions; and we see that with family. If family is held sacrosanct, then whoever is in charge of the family can get away with countless wrongdoing. This is good for scoundrels; this is not good for anyone else.

A good father will not need to hide behind the idea of family sanctity. He will stand on the virtues of his own behavior to his children. He will not need to browbeat the children into obedience; the children will love him and do the right thing. I know this because in my own parenting I've never needed to do that. If I can be a successful parent without being violent or abusive or invoking family sanctity or hellfire, then so can the next man.

Family should be respected, and it should be honored. But what it should not be is held sacred, any more than should say the government. That is because sanctifying something puts it above the scrutiny of reason; and that allows the worst of abuses to take place.

Nobody wants government overreach such as government taking children away from parents. But there has to be a real-world reason for men not to rape their children or beat their wives; and I do not know how this can be accomplished except by making such practices unacceptable and prosecuting those who engage in them. Family is not the problem. Wrongful things that take place in families is the problem. And the solution is confronting and prosecuting these wrongful practices.

The people who are against family as such generalize the wrong things that they've seen or experienced upon the whole institution. Family can be a wonderful thing if done right. But when someone is being brutal or incestuous and then hides behind family, then that person is profaning the family. And that gives family as such a bad name and makes credible those who want to do away with family as such.

If you are willing to be non-violent and non-abusive, then I definitely would recommend marriage and family. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. That some others do it wrong doesn't mean that you can't do it right; and the more people with good principles marry the more they can pass on their good principles and make them matter in the world.

Family is a human institution that, like all other human institutions, can be done rightly or wrongly. Sanctifying it only benefits those who want to be abusive or tyrannical. It should be respected; it should be honored; but it should never be sanctified. Corrupt and violent practices that take place in families should be prosecuted as much as the corrupt and violent practices that take place outside the family.

And this will create a coercion upon all parents to be good parents, resulting in family actually living up to its name.