There are any number of ways in which one can be a jerk, and some of these have been catalogued and others haven’t. The form of which I am speaking right now has not been catalogued; but it has happened in enough situations that I believe it to be commonplace.
I refer to it as the Kevin Federline Syndrome. The “afflicted” pursues the most attractive woman to be found; then when he got her he springs on the abuse and beats up on her, beats down on her, or both. The most common claims of the practicioners of this disorder are that the woman is crazy, that the woman is evil, or that the woman has bad morals. And it is in this that true outrage is found.
The person practicing the Kevin Federline Syndrome did not go for the woman for moral considerations. He went after her because he thought that she was hot. And whatever immorality he can ascribe to her is found to a much greater extent in his own behavior.
Indeed a man in this situation runs a racket. If the Kevin Federline Syndrome – afflicted individual really did find the woman to be a bad person, then he would not want anything to do with her. But such an individual not only does not leave his partner but does everything in his power to keep his partner from leaving. And this makes such a person a racketeer. He gets from the woman what she has to give without rightfully valuing it or compensating her for what he is getting. And this makes the man with Kevin Federline Syndrome essentially a thief, and someone far inferior morally to his partner.
The Kevin Federline Syndrome-afflicted individual approaches relationships as an act of social climbing. He attaches himself to someone at higher level than he is, then beats her down and treats her like trash. He gets to feel himself having advanced in society – having chased down someone at a higher place than he is, with whom he can then wipe his behind. However the same qualities that he found attractive in the woman in the first place make his relationship a nightmare even for him. A woman who’s highly attractive will be attractive to other men, and there will be lots of temptation for marital infidelity. A woman who’s a free spirit will not be content with being ordered around and put into a box. A woman who’s highly intelligent will be able to see through manipulations. The person possessing of the Kevin Federline Syndrome creates misery not only for his partner but also for himself; and many of these men walk away with bitterness and blame women or liberalism when they should be blaming their own approach to relationships.
A complementary problem behavior is what I call the Britney Spears Syndrome. The highly attractive woman finds all the positive male attention to be shallow or insincere; so she responds to a message she finds more genuine – such as that she is a piece of trash and deserves to be treated like one. The result is that, even though every man around wants her, she goes for someone who treats her in ugly ways.
Both the Kevin Federline Syndrome and the Brittney Spears Syndrome are a recipe for misery for every person involved in the situation. And both must be seen for what they are. The purveyors of the Kevin Federline Syndrome must be seen for the conmen that they are and studiously avoided. And the women afflicted with the Brittney Spears Syndrome need to re-evaluate their behavior and think of what they want in a long-term relationship and how they want to be treated by their partners.
Most interpersonal problems, like mathematical problems, have rational solutions. This is the case here. Kevin Federline Syndrome and Brittney Spears Syndrome both cause vast needless suffering. And seeing through such things and avoiding such errors will save many people a life of needless misery.