# Sunday Family Humour 5th May

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

## Real Laws of Nature

Thanks to David H.

1.Law of Mechanical Repair -  After your hands become  coated with  grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pass water.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will
roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability- The  probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity  of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.

6. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line,
the
cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law -  If you change lines (or  traffic lanes),
the one
you were in will always move faster than the  one you are in  now.

7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water,
the
telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The  probability of meeting someone you
know increases dramatically
when you are  with someone you don't want
to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you  try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it  will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional  to the reach.

11.. Law of the Cinema and Sports Arena  - At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
the  ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food,
beer, or the  toilet and who leave early before the end of the
performance or the game is  over. The folks in the aisle seats come
early, never move once, have long  gangly legs or big bellies and stay
to the bitter end of the performance.  The aisle people also are very
surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is  cold.

13.  Murphy's Law of Lockers  - If there are only 2 people in  a
locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The  chances of an open-faced Marmite
sandwich landing face down on a floor, are  directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet or  rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything  is possible if you don't know

16.  Brown's Law of Physical  Appearance -  If the clothes fit, they're  ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public  Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing  Strategy -As soon as you
find a product that you really like,  they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you  get there you'll feel better.. But don't
make an appointment, and you'll  stay sick. This has been proven over
and over with taking children to the  pediatrician.

## The Sea

Thanks to David H,

## Unbelievable Situations

Thanks to Alex S.

IT HAPPENS

Only in
India

Only in
Pakistan

Only in

Only in
Japan

Only in
Indonesia

Only in
Thailand

Only in
Australia

Only in
Texas

Only in
Hawaii

Only in
China

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com
saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.

## Fascinating Errors in Judgment

Thanks to David M.

''The Bomb will never go off, I speak as an expert in explosives."
- - Admiral William Leahy , US Atomic Bomb Project

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?"
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us"
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper"
-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible"
-- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this"
- - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads .

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy"
-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
- - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value"
-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .

"Everything that can be invented has been invented"
-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required."
-- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself."
-- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon,"
-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.

And last but not least...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

## Weird Pictures

Thanks to Alex S.

## Air Balloon Show

Thanks to Ray O'.

## WWII Willy's Jeep Demo

Thanks to Ray O'.