Sunday Family Humour 28th April

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Jewish Grandmother and Italian Grandfather

Thanks to Tony H

The Jewish GRANDMOTHER

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson

who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.

There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button

301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get

in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left.

With your elbow , hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons

with my elbow?

"What... You coming empty handed?"

_______________________________________________

Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns

down through the family...

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.

"Guido, I wan' you lissina me.

I wan' you to take-a my chrome-plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me

Your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business,

You gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and

Maybe a couple-a bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife

Inna bed with anudder man.

"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?

Historical Photos

Thanks to Lee

Historical Photos

Telling the Time In Italy

Thanks to David H.

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Chocolate Train

Thanks to David H.

A train made entirely of chocolate has set a new Guinness World Record as the longest chocolate structure in the world.

The sculpture, on display at the busy Brussels South station, is 112-feet long and weighs over 2,755 pounds.

Maltese chocolate artist Andrew Farrugia spent over 700 hours constructing the masterpiece.

He said he came up with the idea of the train last year after visiting the Belgian Chocolate Festival in Bruge: "I had this idea for a while, and I said what do you think if we do this realization of a long chocolate train, you know, because a train you can make it as long as you like.

"Actually it was going to be much smaller than it was, but I kept on adding another wagon, and another wagon, and it's the size it is today. "

Farrugia had previously built a smaller train of 12 feet for an event in Malta , which he said gave him insight about how to build this much larger version.

There are two parts to the train . The first seven wagons are modeled after the new Belgian trains, and the rest of the train is modeled after the old train wagons, including a wagon with a bar and restaurant on board.

Three days before the event, Farrugia transported the chocolate train by truck in 25 wooden boxes from Malta to Belgium.

Farrugia said the train incurred considerable damage during the drive and several of the train's walls had completely collapsed . Luckily, with hard work and little sleep, the chocolate artist was able to fix all the damages before presenting the train to the public on Monday.

After measuring the length of the train and confirming no material other than chocolate was used, officials from the Guinness Book of World Records added a new category to the collection of world records and declared the train to be the longest chocolate structure in the world.