Sunday Family Humour 18th August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Southerner's Medical Dictionary

Thanks to Paul S.

Artery.............................. The study of paintings

Bacteria......................... Back door to the cafeteria

Barium........................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign........................... What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section......... A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her

Colic................................ A sheep dog

Coma.............................. A punctuation mark

Dilate.............................. To live long

Enema........................... Not a friend

Fester............................ Quicker than someone else

Fibula............................ A small lie

Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane

Morbid........................... A higher offer

Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates

Node.............................. I knew it

Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted

Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative............... A letter carrier

Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery

Rectum......................... Dang near killed him

Secretion....................... Hiding something

Seizure.......................... Roman emperor

Tablet............................ A small table

Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport

Tumor........................... One plus one more

Urine.............................. Opposite of you're out

Great Ideas

Thanks to Tony H.

Jumpy the Dog

Thanks to Peter D.

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Cost per Litre

Thanks to Frans

All these examples do NOT imply that petrol is cheap;

it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are.

The last one might shock the socks off you.

Think a litre of petrol is expensive?

This makes you think, and also puts things into perspective.

Can of Red Bull, 250ml, $2..95 ... $11.80 per litre!

Robitussin Cough Mixture, 200ml, $9.95 ..... $ 49.75 per litre!

L'Oreal Revitalift Day Cream, 50ml, $29.95 ........... $599.00 per litre!

Bundy Rum, 1250ml, $51.00 .... $40.80 per litre!

Visene Eye Drops, 15ml, $5.69 ... $379.00 per litre!

Britney Spears Fantasy Perfume, 50ml, $29 ....... $580.00 per litre!

And this is the REAL KICKER.

Evian water, 375ml, $2.95 ...$7.86 per litre!

$7.86 for a litre of WATER!!

and the buyers don't even know the source

(Evian spelled backwards is NAIVE!!)

Ever wonder why computer printers are so cheap?

So they can hook you for the ink!!

Someone calculated the cost of the ink at, you won't believe it but it's true; $2,500 a litre.

$2500.00 A LITRE!!!

So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Red Bull, Robitussin, L'Oreal or, God forbid, Printer Ink!!!!!

How Many Doctors to Change a Light Bulb ??

Thanks to David H.

Alternative uses for household products

Thanks to Jane MacRoss

RAAF F111 Belly Landing

Thanks to David H.

Real Top Guns RAAF F-111 Belly Landing

If you're into special airplanes even a little, here is a video I’m sure you’ll enjoy if you haven't seen it. These guys do a remarkable job getting their aircraft back on the ground with a minimal amount of damage. It could have very easily gone the other way. Also, notice early in the video there is a sequence showing a F-111 dumping fuel with the afterburners on lighting up the night sky. Something a little unique to the F-111.

The Australians flew the F-111 a lot longer than our Air Force. The airplane was originally designed to land on a carrier deck so the gear structure is very strong. Even landing on a long runway you just maintain 10 degrees angle of attack until the runway stops your descent. Because this is the way the airplane was designed to be landed it felt just fine inside the airplane, but for an observer outside the aircraft it looked like you forgot to flare and really clobbered the landing. I don't know if metal fatigue was a factor in this accident but they are fortunate the wheel fell off upon liftoff and not while accelerating down the runway in full afterburner. Using the tail hook to catch the arresting cable was a great idea, as you will see. Arresting wires on runways are not like the ones on the flight deck of a carrier. They provide less resistance and let you decelerate over about a 900 ft. range, something you wouldn't have room to do on a carrier.

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