Sunday Family Humour 23rd June

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Page 1 Page 2 Interesting Videos and Articles

Questions I ask myself

Thanks to Ray O'.

1. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

2. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?

Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

3. If people from Poland are called Poles,

then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

4. Why is a person who plays a piano called a pianist,

but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

5. If it is true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

6. If lawyers are disbarred and clergy defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

7. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

8. Do Lipton tea employees take 'coffee breaks'?

9. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Flesh?

10. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we supposed to do...write to them?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps

so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

11. Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

12. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

13. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G ?

Good Cartoons and Pics

Thanks to Ray M.

No More Paper

Thanks to Ray O'.

'F' word

Thanks to Alex

There are times when the 'F' word is quite frankly the ONLY word in the English language that accurately describes some situations.

Check out the following examples.

The word is 'Fright' of course!

Photos of the Day

Thanks to Cory

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Hippo and Tortoise

Thanks to David H.

Much of life can never be explained but only witnessed" -

NAIROBI - A baby hippopotamus that survived the

tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong

bond with a giant male century-old tortoise in an animal

facility in the port city of Mombassa , officials said

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about

300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki

River into the Indian Ocean , then forced back to shore

when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on

December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

"It is incredible.. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a

male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to

be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paul a Kahumbu,

who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP .

"After it was swept away and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized.

It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother

Fortunately , it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond.

They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added.

"The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it followed its mother.

If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive,

as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.

"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and

by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their

mothers for four years," he explained.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away."

This is a real story that shows that our differences don't matter

much when we need the comfort of another.

We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures of God,

"Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together."

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves."

Chocolate

Thanks to Andre M.

I did NOT know this!

DO YOU EAT CHOCOLATE Of ANY KIND.

We were raised on chocolate as kids and even into adulthood

but I will never eat it again!!

I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any.

It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.

It could happen to you, your family and friends!

THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING!

CHOCOLATE

can cause

SMALL FEET!

Warn everyone!

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