Sunday Family Humour 3rd March Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

For all the Salesmen in the World

Thanks to Captain Bob.

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day,

to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying A vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning,' said the young man.

'If I could take a couple minutes of your time,

I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

''Go away!'' said the old lady.

''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open...

''Don't be too hasty!'' he said. ''Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

Now if this vacuum cleaner does not remove

All traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam,

I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well let me get you a fork,

'cause they cut off my electricity this morning."

People v Winter

Thanks to Ray M.

Oberammergau, Germany, an Amazing Village

Thanks to Lee

Sang Froid

Thanks to Peter D.

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly

noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the

woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of

sight under the table.

Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining

companion had disappeared.

The waitress, thinking this was peculiar behaviour, went over to the table

and tactfully, said to the woman:

"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said,

"No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."

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The Train is Coming

Thanks to Captain Bob.

Reflections

Thanks to David H.

Walkies

Thanks to Andre M.

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'

Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'

'What does that mean?' asked the child.

'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'

He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..

Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'

You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)................

The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

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