Sunday Family Humour 17th March

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Your weekly anti-depressive

President Obama

Thanks to Ray

President Obama was

Asleep in the White House one night and awoke to see George Washington's

Ghost.

He asked, "George, how can I make this country better?"

Washington said, "Be honest with the people like I was."

Obama went back to sleep and later awoke again; this Time he saw Thomas

Jefferson's ghost and asked, "Tom, how can I make this country better?"

Jefferson said, "Love the Constitution like I did."

Again Obama fell asleep and awoke a third time; seeing Abraham Lincoln's

Ghost this time, he asked, "Abe, how can I make this country better?"

Lincoln replied, "Go see a play..."

Right side of the brain

Thanks to Ray O'.

The Right Side of The Brain

The right side of your brain. this is one of those great emails that show when you are using your Right or Left side of your brain. If you see the picture exactly as it is, you are using the left side. When you stare you will see the figure shift; and you will be using your right brain. You can switch back and forth.

Stare to go to Right brain (it sort of trances you out or puts you in an altered NON THINKING state).

Begin thinking and reasoning about it and you will move back out of the altered state into Left brain thinking. very cool. You will enjoy this if you are using the right side of your brain, I think this is very good.

Stare at this picture and you will see this man turn his face. If this does not work for you, you are a psychopathic maniac.

One Word Essays

Thanks to Ray O'.

One word essays

Collective Nouns

Thanks to David M.

The English language has some wonderful collective nouns for various groups of animals.

Herd of cows

Flock of chickens

School of fish

Gaggle of geese

Pride of lions

Murder of crows

Exaltation of doves

Congress of owls

Now consider a group of Baboons.

They are the loudest,

least intelligent,

most obnoxious,

viciously dangerous & aggressive

of all primates.

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ... a Parliament

A PARLIAMENT OF BABOONS!

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Wow Pictures

Thanks to Lee

wow pictures

Yearly Dementia Test

Thanks To Lee

Your Yearly Dementia Test

(only 4 questions)

Yep, it's that time of year again for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow

older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test.

Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take this test to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your

answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

#1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.'

If you said 'toast', just give up now and go do something else.

And, try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question #2.

# 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.'

What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water.

If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question.Your brain is already over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Women's Weekly or Auto World. However, if you did say 'water', proceed to Question #3.

# 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks,what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.

If you said 'green bricks', why are you still reading this??? PLEASE, go lie down!

But, if you said 'glass,' go on to Question #4.

# 4. Do not use a calculator for this:

You are driving a bus from New York City to Philadelphia .

In Staten Island , 17 people got on the bus.

In New Brunswick , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.

In Windsor, 2 people get off and 4 get on.

In Trenton, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Bristol , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.

And, in Camden, 6 people get off and 3 get on.

You then arrive at Philadelphia Station.

Without going back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer:Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own age?!?! It was YOU driving the bus!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!

1950s

Thanks to David H.

50s E-Mail

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