Sunday Family Humour 3rd March

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Punography

Thanks to Ray O'.

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher

who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Penguins

Thanks to David M.

Something Different

Thanks to Tony H.

Somethingdifferent29

See how your brain works

Thanks to Paul S.

man

1. ------------

board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand

2. ------------

Ans. = I understand

Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

road

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle

cycle

Ans. = tricycle

6. ------------

M..D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

7. knee

light

Ans. = neon light

( knee - on - light )

ground

8. ---------------

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ....... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

13. abababababababababababababababababababab...

Ans. = long time no 'C'

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Swan Lake

Thanks to David H.

Not just a ballet - an amazingly gymnastic performance

Brazil

Thanks to Lee

Brazil

Russians on the Road

Thanks to Ray O'.

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