Sunday Family Humour 26th May Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

The Fence Repair

Thanks to Paul S.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at Government House.

One is from Ottawa , another is from Merrickville, and the third is from Perth (Ontario) .

All three go with an official to examine the fence.

The Ottawa contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,

then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, $400 for materials, $400

for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Merrickville contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,

"I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and

$100 profit for me."

The Perth contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the government

official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys.

How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Perth contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire

the guy from Merrickville to fix the fence."

"Done!" Replies the government official.

And that, my fellow tax payers, is how a Government Stimulus plan works.

3 Pieces of advice

Thanks to Frans R.

Never celebrate until the money is in the bank.

Never lose hope when all seems lost.

Never leave your post until the battle is over.

All The Women We Have Loved Before

Thanks to Ray M.

Pole Dancing Like You've Never Seen Before

The Shaolin Temple gymnastics troupe

really gives the girls a run for their money!

Video (1:25 mins):

To receive the weekly link to the latest Sunday Family humour,

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com

saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.

Frost Flowers

Thanks to Ray O'.

Nature's Exquisite " Ice Extrusion "

It is as beautiful as it is rare. A frost flower is created on autumn or early winter mornings when ice

in extremely thin layers is pushed out from the stems of plants or occasionally wood.

This extrusion creates wonderful patterns which curl and fold into gorgeous frozen petioles giving

this phenomenon both its name and its appearance.

Conditions have to be just so ... for frost flowers to form.

Early winter are the optimum time to come across them ... as although the weather conditions

must be freezing it is vital that the ground is not, so water can be sucked up in the stem.

As the temperature gets to freezing or just below ...the sap in the stem of the plants will expand.

As it does so, the outer layer of the stem comes under increasing pressure, and microscopically thin cracks,

known as linear fissures, begin to form. These will finally give way under the pressure of the sap and split open forming cracks for the water to come out through ... and then freeze

Water is continuously being drawn up the plant ' s stem while the ground remains unfrozen.

It travels up the plants external structural axis (stem!) and reaches the split or splits.

As it does so, it oozes slowly out and it freezes. Yet more water is coming behind it....

This new water reaches the cracks and it too freezes,

pushing the previous slither of ice away from the stem.

And in this manner the amazing ' petals ' that you see in these pictures are formed.

Incredibly, the frost flower effect can happen to wood even when it has been made in to a fence or a gate,

as seen above. In this case the water is extruded through the pores in the wood rather than cracks.

The frost flower has a number of other names: you may know them as frost castles, ice castles,

ice blossoms, or even the very scientific sounding crystallo-folia.

Yet the name is something of a misnomer: frost is created by water vapor.

Frost flower, on the other hand, are formed from liquid water.

If you come across one - be careful!

Rather than attempt to pick it up, if you have a camera or a phone with you ... take a picture instead.

Frost flowers are incredibly delicate and will more often than not ... shatter when touched.

Not only that, as they are made of such thin sheets of ice, they will melt away as the sun rises higher in the sky.

You may get frost flowers again the following day, but unless the conditions are just right ...

the chances are... your first glimpse may be your last.

Recycling At Its Best!

Thanks to John H

Space Oddity

Thanks to David M.

A revised version of David Bowie's Space Oddity,

recorded by Commander Chris Hadfield on board the International Space Station.

Did you enjoy this page?

Please click +1