Sunday Family Humour 19th May

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Little Johnnie

Thanks to Fritz

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited.. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, and then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good", said the teacher. Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said,

"I made $45 and I explained to everyone

that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Debbie", said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom

and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher,

"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!" Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap,

dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free

and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth." Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart.

Hungarian Shadow Dancers

Thanks to Fritz

True Duck Story

Thanks to David M.

A true duck story - San Antonio , Texas - Bravo

Something really cute happened in this week. Michael R. Is an accounting clerk at Frost Bank and works there in a second story office. Several weeks ago, he watched a mother duck choose the concrete awning outside his window as the unlikely place to build a nest above the sidewalk. The mallard laid ten eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks, and Monday afternoon all of her ten ducklings hatched.

Michael worried all night how the momma duck was going to get those babies safely off their perch in a busy, downtown, urban environment to take to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duck hatching. Tuesday morning, Michael watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off. Office work came to a standstill as everyone gathered to watch.

The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. In disbelief Michael watched as the first fuzzy newborn trustingly toddled to the edge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cement below. Michael couldn't stand to watch this risky effort nine more times! He dashed out of his office and ran down the stairs to the sidewalk where the first obedient duckling, near its mother, was resting in a stupor after the near-fatal fall. Michael stood out of sight under the awning-planter, ready to help.

As the second one took the plunge, Michael jumped forward and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the concrete.. Safe and sound, he set it down it by its momma and the other stunned sibling, still recovering from that painful leap. (The momma must have sensed that Michael was trying to help her babies.)

One by one the babies continued to jump.. Each time Michael hid under the awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall. At the scene the busy downtown sidewalk traffic came to a standstill. Time after time, Michael was able to catch the remaining eight and set them by their approving mother.

At this point Michael realized the duck family had only made part of its dangerous journey. They had two full blocks to walk across traffic, crosswalks, curbs and past pedestrians to get to the closest open water, the San Antonio River , site of the famed "River Walk." The onlooking office secretaries and several San Antonio police officers joined in. An empty copy-paper box was brought to collect the babies. They carefully corralled them, with the mother's approval, and loaded them in the container.. Michael held the box low enough for the mom to see her

Brood. He then slowly navigated through the downtown streets toward the San Antonio River . The mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight, all the way.

As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping in the river and quacking loudly. At the water's edge, Michael tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward the water and to the waiting mother after their adventurous ride.

All ten darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled up snugly to momma. Michael said the mom swam in circles, looking back toward the beaming bank bookkeeper, and proudly quacking.

At last, all present and accounted for: "We're all together again. We're here! We're here!"

And here's a family portrait before they head outward to further adventures....

Like all of us in the big times of our life, they never could have made it alone without lots of helping hands. I think it gives the name of San Antonio 's famous "River Walk" a whole new meaning! Maybe you will want to share this story with others. It's too good to lose!

Live honestly, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly & Leave the rest to God.

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So True

Thanks to David H.

Rita Hayworth and the Bee Gee's

Thanks to Paul S

Most of the people in the clips were deceased before the Bee Gee’s recorded “Stayin’ Alive.” Whether you are a Bee Gee's or Rita Hayworth fan or not...you are likely to enjoy this!

Music may change, but the moves are timeless. I enjoyed this so very much. Look for Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Gene Nelson, Larry Parks, Fred Astaire, Phil Silvers and others having fun dancing. Love those Bee Gees!

Historical Photos

Thanks to Ray O'.

Rare Celebrity Photos

Thanks to Lee

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