N.T.B.R.: Mario Party
Rating: E
Score: 9.5/10
N.T.B.R. stands for "Needs To Be Remade", as in should be released on WiiWare, DSiWare, Playstation Network, and/or Xbox Live Arcade. Simply put, this is a new series I'm going to try where an old classic will be reviewed on why it rocks and why it needs to be remade (or, at very least, re-released) on a current-generation system. With the advances in game technology, you would think we'd have a bunch of classics on our new current generation systems, but that’s not quite the case. I'm not sure if Nintendo, Sony and/or Microsoft just don't realize we want these games for our newer systems or they just don’t care. Let's start this series right: With a Mario Party!
Who doesn't like a party? You like parties, your friends like parties, their friends like parties, and even Mario and company like parties. Unlike small get-togethers you have after work with some friends, Mario brings the whole crew along. His brother, his dinosaur, and Mario even settles matters with his nemeses that not too long ago were chucking barrels at him and trying to steal his money. Once all seven of his "friends" (being a slightly overweight Italian plumber that never talks doesn't gain you a lot of friends) are gathered, you're ready for a party!
Once everyone is ready, you set which four characters of the group that will play, set their difficulties (if you have computer controlled players), and determine the number of turns. Once everything's ready, you play a board game. Not what you expected for such a big party get-together? Probably not. At the end of each turn, everyone plays a minigame, the type of minigame depends on what space everyone landed on relative to where everyone else landed (i.e. everyone landing on the same type of space will result in a free-for-all, two players landing on different spaces will result in two on two, etc.). These minigames range from weird to silly to random to downright hilarious. It's almost like playing a game of monopoly, except all the little figures are replaced with plumbers, princesses, and primates, and every so often a mutant turtle takes a stroll down Boardwalk and starts stealing everyone's stuff. After everyone takes a turn, you and your friends would stop playing to play a quick game of darts, or paint something, or throw TVs out windows or something similar; then you would continue playing monopoly.
The goal of each board table is to collect stars. The character with the most stars at the end of 20,30, or 50 turns wins, and is crowned "superstar". To triumph over the rest is no easy task; it requires carefully crafted courses, fast, focused fingers, and lucky throws of the dice. With A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) or humans, the game can keep pace with skilled individuals and beginners alike. It may not be so much worthy difficulty settings as just questionable A.I.
How much intelligence does the A.I. have? Behind the puppetry and the blank faces, you can be sure the gears running those monsters are focused on peering through your game face to find what really lies inside, your true weakness, what drives you to the edge of insanity and would push you off: control. It's what you're really striving for, it's what the others wish to deprive you of, and it's what you'll defend with your life. Those lifeless dolls will never best you in your ring of honor unless you show fear and indecisiveness. You must be sharp, quick, stable, and very able, young grasshopper.
With multiple friends, you can truly see why this series has aged so well. It has stopped being a contest of willpower and A.I. and started being the rather silly board game/random minigame combination that will have laughter (sometimes lots of), anger (again, sometimes lots of), high points, and low points. Even being the winner or loser isn't a big deal, just the fun of it sucks you in enough to enjoy playing this game nonetheless.
So why isn't this on WiiWare or Virtual Console (or maybe even DSiWare) already? Not a single Mario Party game has been released. Yet what is this already on there- Major League Eating? A game based on competitive eating complete with burping at opponents to slow them down? Who approved this stuff, and why aren’t good games like Mario Party and Super Mario All-Stars available for Virtual Console and WiiWare yet? Someone needs to stop messing with gamers and start releasing to the masses intelligently.