The Silent Struggle: Understanding the Impacts of Grief and Loss on Indigenous Youth

Memories and stories are connected to our land as described by, B. Toastie in the article, “How place names impact the way we see landscape.” Stories and land are something very central to Indigenous ways and the past. They both hold heavy significance for Indigenous peoples and Toastie capitalizes on this. They explain the idea of place identity and how it contributes to the Indigenous storytelling of our lands. They compare Indigenous teachings of naming landscapes to the Western ways and how the Western naming takes away all meaning of the land. With it the identity and story. They also explain how the stories that are tied to landscapes are what allow us to connect to the land and remind ourselves of our place in relation to the land. The lands that we live on hold memories and are only unlocked through our stories, Toastie voices this and debates the colonized ways of naming things after men who “didn’t do anything significant.” They express that this goes completely against Indigenous teachings and strips the land of its history, identity, and meaning. It gives power to the dead white men if we continue to use the western names. Toastie wishes to retake the power by continuing to speak the traditional names and tell the land’s stories.

Our history is something that plays a big part in shaping who we are as Native people. In his article, “Indians of North America: Conflict and Survival,” Frank W. Porter discusses the history of Indigenous peoples and sheds some light on the truth of it all. He goes back to the “discovery” of Americans and how we had different values from the White Man. We are stewards of the land and saw the land as this beautiful being we were made to protect. Porter emphasizes that Europeans saw the land in a materialistic way and only saw it as a way to gain. That is where our values and perspectives clashed with Europeans. Porter also highlights the different ways the different waves of colonizers affected the Native people. “Spanish colonization rushed the Indian; English colonization scorned and neglected him; French colonization embraced and cherished him.” (Francis Parkman) He then goes on to mention the different myths and misconceptions that have come about pertaining to our origins as Indigenous people. To start, the most common was that the land was “undiscovered.” But also that we were a primitive people that needed saving; that we came from the “Lost Tribes of Israel”;  or that we came from Atlantis; or from Noah’s Ark. The biggest myth being that Indigenous people went extinct. Porter uses all of this information to transition to the truth of it all. He mentions how time and time again, the Natives were tricked, manipulated, and cheated for the White Man’s personal gain. Their  land was stolen right from under them because they didn’t understand the consequences of the Treaties; they just wanted to protect their people. Porter states that this isn’t taught in schools and it should be. He explains that despite all of these attempts of erasure, we have prevailed. Porter finishes with a claim that if we hold onto our cultures, languages, and land, that we will continue to prevail as Indigenous people.

In Maria YellowHorse Brave Heart’s book, “The American Indian Holocaust,” she discusses different traumatic events the American Indian people of the U.S. have had to endure in our history. But in the specific chapter, Healing Historical Unresolved Grief, she gets more specific and dives into how these traumatic events have led to unresolved grief, historical trauma, as well as intergenerational trauma and grief. She addresses the mass genocide and assimilation that was forced on native people and how that force of separation impacted them. In the genocide we had mass numvers of our people being killed, and it left a heavy burden to grieve that loss. When paired with the forced assimilation, our people were not given the chance to traditionally grieve the losses we suffered. And if the hurt and anger is not confronted it is held inside and will be passed down onto future generations. In the present day it manifests into unhealthy coping: alcohol and drug abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, PTSD, survivors child-complex, etc. But Brave Heart also goes on to conclude the importance of going back to traditional grieving practices. “We need only heed the traditional American Indian wisdom that in decisions made today, we must consider the impact on the next seven generations.” That by doing so, by going back to the traditions that our ancestors at the time were not allowed, we are paving the way for healing. It’s not only for us, but for the sake of future generations.

In the KRQE Podcast, Gabrielle Burkhurst interviews the new director of Education for the Grief Center in Albuquerque, Mickey Kivitz. In the podcast they dive into the impacts that grief has had on the New Mexico youth and how their programs navigate that to provide the best support they can for bereaved youth. Kivitz highlights a lot of good points of the factors that impact the youth in New Mexico. He mentions that New Mexico is ranked highest for violent crime and one of the lowest in education which can severely impact the youth’ mental health and well being. Kivitz also mentions the statistic that one in seven youth experience grief before they graduate high school and more than half of those kids deal with the loss of a father. The biggest things he notices in these children is that they end up having trouble focusing, increase in complex emotions, and loneliness. Burkhurst and Kivitz then transition into how to approach youth who deal with grief. One of the most important factors that they mention is the truth. That kids can handle the truth, and by concealing the truth it does more harm than good. “Kids understand a lot more than adults give them credit for, losing trust through dishonesty is a serious thing to consider.” They spend a lot of time explaining why this is important for different ages, but for the simple fact that by trying to shield a child tends to do more harm than good and often confuses them. This leads to the more negative reactions we see from youth. But, Kivitz also highlights that peer-to-peer groups have been proven to be extremely beneficial for bereavement youth because they are able to support and understand on a deeper level that adults may not be able to reach with their kids. Kivitz ends the podcast by emphasizing that in person interactions are always best when looking at resources for grief because it helps us tap into our humanity and create deeper connections.

Grief is a very broad concept and the approach differs from culture to culture. Despite these differences we can find some similarities. The uniqueness of Tibetan Buddhism is described in Robert Goss’, “Tibetan Buddhism and the resolution of grief.” One important aspect to grasp is that Buddhism believes in reincarnation which contributes to how they deal with grief. They teach from the Bardo-Thodol which is like the Book of Dead. It teaches the individual what to expect and how to guide their soul after they die. This is a very important part that Goss spends a lot of time discussing. The Bardo-Thodol gives clear instructions for the deceased as well as the bereaved. It’s important to note that the journey of the soul takes 49 days which means that’s how long the family typically has to mourn. At this time the funeral process begins. There are four different types of burials discussed; sky burial, cremation, ground burial, and water burial. In these times the bereaved have no negative feelings associated with the dead otherwise it will hold them back from moving on. Tibetan Buddhism greatly stresses the importance of teaching the concept of “Impermanence.” By learning this concept they can heal by transforming their grief to energy for spiritual practices. “The Bardo-Thodol helps the living to resolve their grief by focusing on their providing spiritual assistance to the deceased.” The teachings of Tibetan Buddhism are meant to guide the dead to the next step of the journey of life while guiding the living to healing.

The Muscogee Creek are another native tribe in America, yet they still have very similar practices to other cultures. We get insight into the funeral process in Andrea Walker’s, “Bereavement Rituals in the Muscogee Creek Tribe.” The Muscogee have very set instructions on how the funeral is supposed to go. The family must stay with the body and pray for the deceased. They wait four days before the burial because they believe it takes time for the spirit to leave the body. It’s important to note that the Muscogee believe death is simply another step in the journey of life. “The participants did not see death as the end of a journey but merely a transition.” This is a teaching that helps the people grieve, cope, and heal. During the burial they dig the graves by hand and cover the grave by hand as a final farewell. They then build a small house over so the spirit can return home. After the funeral the family is cleansed with traditional medicines like tea or smudging (smoking of sage over one’s body). Muscogee people have a short period of mourning but also show grief in different ways up to a year later. Although these grieving practices have been passed down for thousands of years, the Muscogee people are still struggling with the effects of colonization and the attempt to eradicate their culture. The implementation of westernization has made it difficult to maintain traditions and culture especially with younger generations.