Social Emotional Learning

Integrating the theme into the Home:

Don’t stress yourself out by trying to do a bunch of celebrations.

Pick one or two and make those special.

Ask your children what end of the year traditions mean the most to them and recreate them at home.

• Field day – set up fun activities in the backyard

  • Field Day Games—At-Home Edition

• Yearbook signing day

  • Have your child and their friends send each other yearbook messages virtually. You can print these out and tape them in their yearbook.

• Virtual Talent Show

  • Host a virtual talent show with friends

  • With permission record the talent show and share out after

Create new family traditions

• A special breakfast or dinner

• A special activity

• An ice cream party

• A day at the beach

Create a virtual memory book

• Free Memory Book Maker

• For Purchase Memory Book Maker

Student Celebration Days –

• Have each child plan a day just for them. They get to pick meals, activities, special treats, etc.

• Have your other children make posters in celebration of their sibling’s day.

• Virtual shout outs – have family members either video call or send videos celebrating your child’s day.

Virtual Spirit Days –

• Have your children create a calendar of virtual spirit days and share with friends.

• Each day friends will submit a picture of themselves wearing the spirit wear.

• Create a collage of pictures and share it with everyone involved.

Virtual Classmate Party –

• Though you may not be able to get your child’s entire class on a virtual call you may be able to do a small party with friends.

• Each child can bring a special treat to the party.

• Play music

Virtual Field Trip

• 25+ Amazing Educational Virtual Field Trips

Integrating the theme into the Home:

Here are some ideas to bring more laughter to your home and family –

Smile & say Hi. Smiling is the beginning of laughter, and like laughter, it’s contagious. Make it a game on your evening walks. See who can get the most people to smile and say Hi back.

Count your blessings. Simply write down or list in your head the things in life you have to be grateful for. Doing this may strike up a funny memory, but if nothing else it will bring a smile to your face and distance you from negative thoughts that block humor and laughter. When you’re in a state of sadness, you have further to travel to reach humor and laughter.

Spend time being playful with your children. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves to slow down and laugh with our children. Make family dinners a “no phone” zone and spend time talking about light hearted and funny topics.

Bring humor into conversations. Ask your children, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?” or “What is the funniest memory you can think of?”

Use technology to bring laughter. Apps like Laugh My App Off are a great way to bring laughter into your daily life. You can set your preferences to how many texts a day the app will send you of jokes. You can also use it at the dinner table to get the family laughing.

Other ways to create opportunities to laugh -

• Watch a funny movie, TV show, or YouTube video

• Read comics

• Share a good joke or a funny story

• Create your own jokes

• Read joke books as a family

• Family game night

• Play with a pet

• Do something silly

• Make time for fun activities

Integrating the theme into the Home:

Defining Success:

• Help your child define what success means to them.

• Is success simply based on whether or not they get a good grade or accomplish a task?

• Or can success come even when it might look as if we failed by the standards of others?

Past Success:

• When faced with a difficult task it can be helpful to help your children think of a time when they had success in the past.

• What strategies did they use?

• Is there anything they did differently than those around them who weren’t as successful?

• Of the strategies they listed, are there any that can be applied to their current situation?

*As we discussed in previous lessons – heightened emotion and rational thinking cannot exist in the brain at the same time. If your child is flustered or frustrated they may not be able to come up with answers to the above questions. Help them find ways to release their frustration and calm down before attempting to find a solution. If they are not in a calm mind their frustration level may increase.

• Calming Activities

  • Younger children –

    • Sesame Street: Learn to Belly Breathe with Rosita

    • Sesame Street: Common and Colbie Caillat - "Belly Breathe" with Elmo

    • DANIEL TIGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD | What Do You Do with the Mad that You Feel? Song | PBS KIDS

    • Get outdoors

    • Taking a break

  • Older children –

    • Yoga

    • Mindfulness

    • Go for a walk

    • Exercise

    • Deep breathing

    • Take a break

    • Listen to calming music

Resist the urge to fix it or do it for them

• Sometimes we have the answers for the questions above and it would be very easy to just give that to our children. However, we must resist the urge to fix it when our children are struggling or take the task and do it ourselves. Everything in us as parents causes us to want to make things better for our children, but doing so would rob them of the chance to build great life skills.

• If they don’t practice those skills now when there is a safety net they will be forced to learn them while trying to navigate an adult world.

• You can’t learn to cook by watching someone else do it. You actually have to get in the kitchen and work a recipe yourself. You might get burned, but each time the wound heals and you learn from it.

• In the same way our kids can’t learn by watching us solve their problems.

Integrating the theme into the Home:

High Emotions –

• Heightened emotion and rational thinking cannot exist in the brain at the same time.

• This means that it is very difficult to show flexible thinking when our emotions are high.

• First pick a calming activity before searching for solutions to your problem.

  • Younger children -

    • Sesame Street: Learn to Belly Breathe with Rosita

    • Sesame Street: Common and Colbie Caillat - "Belly Breathe" with Elmo

    • DANIEL TIGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD | What Do You Do with the Mad that You Feel? Song | PBS KIDS

    • Get outdoors

    • Taking a break

  • Older children -

    • Yoga

    • Mindfulness

    • Go for a walk

    • Exercise

    • Deep breathing

    • Take a break

    • Listen to calming music

Journaling –

• Building flexible thinking over time involves stretching our brains over time. It is the same as stretching our bodies. We can’t expect to be super flexible the first time we stretch, but over time little by little we will improve our flexibility.

• “Journaling is one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.” ~ Marc Chernoff

• For younger children

  • Use the adapted prompts as talking points for family discussion.

• Older children and parents -

  • Challenge yourself to read and write on each prompt adapted from Marc Chernoff’s blog for at least five minutes every day or on a schedule that works for you. See how doing so gradually changes how you think, feel and behave.

  • If you miss a day, don’t worry, pick up where you left off.

Prompt 1

The goal is not to get rid of all your negative thoughts, feelings, and present life circumstances. Doing so is impossible. The goal is to change your response to them.

What’s something specific about your present circumstances that’s been stressing you out? What can you do to improve your response today?

Younger children –

• What is something that has been making you mad or sad recently? What can you do to make yourself happy again?

Prompt 2

The most powerful moments in life often come when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself—to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.

What’s one unchangeable reality you’ve been resisting? What can you do right now to ease your mind into the acceptance of this reality?

Younger children –

• What is one change that has been tough for you? We might not be able to change it right now, but we can change how we think about it. Say “I might not be able to do ____________, but I can do ___________.

Prompt 3

Love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you are with, until you can be with the rest of the people you love. This is the way we find happiness, opportunity, and peace.

What do you love about your present life situation (despite the challenges that exist)? Who do you love today (despite the quirks they have)?

Younger children –

• What is something you really like about how things are right now? Who is someone you love?

Prompt 4

Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally, emotionally, and physically centered.

What’s something small that always brings you peace when you think about it? Why?

Younger children –

• What is something that small that always makes you happy and helps you feel calm when you think about it? Why?

Prompt 5

Too often we say “life is not fair” while we’re eating our food, sipping a drink, and reading the news on our smartphones. Think twice and be thankful. Right now, before you think of anything else, breathe deeply, appreciate where you are, and see the value in what you have.

What’s one privilege (or good thing) you have right now that you are taking for granted?

Younger children –

• What is something good that you have right now? What is one way that you can be more thankful for it?

Prompt 6

Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. At the end of this day, before you close your eyes, smile and be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have. Life isn’t easy right now, but there is some good.

What do you appreciate most about your present life situation? Why?

Younger children –

• What are you most thankful for today? Why?

Prompt 7

Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to grow. That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient and remind yourself: Life never gets easier, you just get stronger.

How has the discomfort you’ve felt in the past helped you grow? How can you better accept the discomfort you presently feel?

Younger children –

• What have you done in the past to get through tough situations? Can you use any of those strategies to help you right now?

Prompt 8

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.

What specifically do you need to forgive yourself for? What have your error(s) in judgment taught you?

Younger children –

• Is there something that you keep doing over and over again even though it upsets someone else? Do you feel better or worse after? If you feel worse after then it is probably not a good thing to keep doing. What is something else you can do in that situation?

Prompt 9

Inner peace begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow an external event to control your inner peace. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin again.

What ideals are you holding on to that are holding you down? What can you let go of right now (without losing a thing)?

Younger children –

• What is something that is making you upset right now? Can you change it? If you can’t change it, how can you make yourself feel better each time you think about it?

Prompt 10

We waste our time waiting for ideal paths to appear. But they never do. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.

What’s one small step you’ve been thinking about taking, for far too long?

Younger children –

• What is something new you have been wanting to learn? Is there a way you can start learning now?

Prompt 11

It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Life keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid. Have faith. Find the lessons. Trust the journey.

What’s something you’ve moved on from that once meant the world to you? And, what’s something you love today that you never even knew you needed in your life?

Younger children –

• What is something that you really liked before, but haven’t really missed during this time? What is something new you have been doing that you really love?

Prompt 12

Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them. And while you may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, you can decide not to be reduced by them today.

What’s something you often take too personally even though, logically, you know better?

Younger children –

• Is there something that has been really bothering you lately that never bothered you before?

Prompt 13

Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them. You will end up sadly disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.

How have your expectations of others gotten the best of you recently? How will you remind yourself to ease your expectations today?

Younger children –

• Is there someone that has disappointed you recently? How can you forgive them for the disappointment?

Prompt 14

Everybody you know is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something. Know this. Respect this. And be extra kind in these hard times. Take some extra time to really listen. Take some extra time to learn something new. Take some extra time to say thank you, today.

What can you easily do to be a little kinder than usual today? And, who was the last person who was unexpectedly kind to you?

Younger children –

• What is something kind you can do for someone else today? Has anyone surprised you with their kindness?

Prompt 15

You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself right now. Practice respecting yourself, taking care of yourself, and becoming your own support system in these unprecedented times. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself!

How will you choose yourself today?

Younger children –

• What is one activity you can do to make yourself happy today?

Prompt 16

In the grand scheme of things, a relatively small part of your life is decided by uncontrollable circumstances (like COVID-19), while the vast majority of it is decided by your perspective regarding these circumstances. Let this sink in. Regardless of what’s going on around you, peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with what’s on your mind.

What is one specific part of your present reality you need to come to peace with? Why?

Younger children –

• What is something that is happening right now that makes you mad? Is being mad fixing the situation? What is something you can do to help you deal with it?

Reminders for older children -

• Stop resisting. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you’re supposed to be at this moment. There’s a time and place for everything, and every step is necessary.

• Just keep doing your best, and don’t force what’s not yet supposed to fit into your life. When it’s meant to be, it will be.

• Give yourself the space to hear your own voice—your own soul. Too many of us listen to the noise of the world and get lost in it. Stand strong! Live by choice, not by chance. Choose to listen to your own inner wisdom today.

• Don’t fall back into your old patterns of living just because they’re more comfortable and easier to access right now. Remember, you’ve left certain habits and situations behind for a reason: to improve your life. And right now, you can’t move forward if you keep going back.

• There may come a time when you feel as if everything is messed up and broken. That’s the starting line. Be humble. Be teachable. The world is always bigger than your view of the world. And there’s always room for a new possibility, a new step, and a new beginning.

Integrating the theme into the Home:

Distraction

One of the simplest strategies, but can also be the most powerful. Dr. Nolem-Hoeksema’s research shows that those who use the distraction method are less likely to experience depressive and anxious symptoms. Distraction should be with an activity that leaves you feeling good afterwards.

• Basic Distraction -

  • Laugh

    • Telling jokes with friends

    • Chatting with a friend or family member who makes you laugh

  • Find a positive emotion - Humor, joy, and gratitude immediately help us feel better, and when we feel good, our bodies have a chance to undo the effects of stress.

    • Make a list of a few positive-emotion-inducing activities that you can use quickly and easily when you find yourself stuck in your thoughts.

    • Listening to a song that boosts your mood – YouTube Playlists

    • Gratitude on cue

      • Pick something in your day to be your alarm (cue) to think of what you are grateful for.

        • Ex: washing your hands or turning off a light

        • Each time you do this activity think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

    • Gratitude ramble

      • When anger, disappointment or sadness begin to surface, acknowledge the feelings and begin to think of all the things you have to be grateful for in the moment.

      • Say something like “this situation stinks, but I am grateful for _________________.

    • Nature Scavenger Hunt

    • Scavenger Hunt Bingo

• When Basic Distraction doesn’t do the trick –

  • When basic distraction doesn’t seem to work you may need to find a more consuming activity. One that you can be fully immersed in.

    • Challenge yourself with a task that meets your current level of skill or pushes you but not to the level of frustration.

  • Examples –

    • Cooking

    • Writing

    • Exercising

    • Playing a competitive board game

    • Learning a new skill

    • Playing a musical instrument

    • Lego Masters – Create a LEGO challenge amongst a group of friends.

      • Give the kids a timeframe to create. Send pictures of final creation on a video platform.

    • Building a scrapbook

    • Learning a new language

    • For some people organizing things works as well

  • Psychologists call this type of engagement “flow” while athletes and artists call it “in the zone”. This works best as a method of distraction when we engage in the activities routinely.

• Spread a little love –

  • Showing a little love or kindness for someone else often works like a magic antidote to negative thoughts.

    • Write letters/make cards for a local retirement community

    • Smile and say hi to neighbors on a walk

    • Call and check in on a friend

    • Plan a special evening for your family

    • Foster a dog

    • Call or FaceTime Grandparents, or Grandfriends just to say hello

    • Make up a poem with a positive message.

    • Write positive messages on Post-It Notes and place them on mirrors in your house.

    • Make Peace Rocks - paint rocks with kind words and place them around town to delight your neighbors.

    • Do household chores without being asked - make your bed, pick up your toys, clean your room/bathroom.

Finding Joy

• Ask your child to tell you about their day

  • Even if you were home with them all day have them describe it – everyone has a different perspective.

• Without them seeing what you are doing, write down the good things they say.

• Once they are finished because describing their day in “Even though – I can find joy statements”

  • Even though I can’t see my friends right now I can find joy in having extra time with my family.

  • Even though we are stuck at home I can find joy in learning to ride my bike.

  • Even though I’m not able to ____________ I can find joy in _____________.

Integrating the theme into the Home:

Bouncing back from minor disappointments

Take 5

Take a few deep breaths and think about how you want your day to go.

o The day might not be how you planned it, but how do you make the best of it?

Has this ever happened before?

o Think back on a time when you have been disappointed in the past. How did you work through that?

o What helped? What didn’t?

o Make a list of coping skills.

Look for the bright side

o Optimism and resilience go together. Every situation has a bright side. We just have to look for it.

Get Outside

o A change of scenery can help give us a new perspective.

o Being active also helps us regulate our emotions. When we are calm we see things more optimistically.

What can I control?

o Make a list of things your child can control and what they cannot.

§ If it is not something your child cannot control it doesn’t benefit them to stay mad.

§ How can they move towards acceptance?

§ “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

What is the next thing I can do?

o It may not be their original plan, but there is always a way to move forward.

Bouncing back from major disappointments

Psychological Distancing

o Have your child practice psychological distancing where they help a friend who is going through the same thing they are going through.

o This provides two benefits:

Humans are most happy when they are helping others. Helping a friend work through a tough situation is a great way to bring not just help to others, but happiness to ourselves.

It helps us to externalize the problem. Most people are able to give advice to others they wouldn’t be able to come up with for themselves.

Resist the urge to “fix it”

o Resist the urge to “fix” your child’s disappointment or grief. Everything in us as parents causes us to want to make things better for our child. If we do this by buying them something new or making big promises to take their mind off their disappointment/grief we could be causing a bigger issue. If our child doesn’t change their mood right away they may seem as if they are ungrateful for our gesture, but in reality they are still in their cycle of grief. In order to fully accept a situation each person must move through their own grief cycle.

Change your story

o I may not be able to ______________, but I can _________________.

o Learning this skill at a young age will prove helpful as we get older and life throws curveballs our way.

What can I control?

o Make a list of things your child can control and what they cannot control.

§ If it is not something your child can control it doesn’t benefit them to stay mad.

§ How can they move towards acceptance?

· Major disappointments will take longer to reach acceptance than minor, but support and encourage your child to keep moving forward.

§ “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

What is the next thing I can do?

o It may not be their original plan, but there is always a way to move forward.

Gratitude on cue

o Pick something in your day to be your alarm (cue) to think of what you are grateful for.

§ Ex: washing your hands or turning off a light

o Each time you do this activity think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

Gratitude ramble

o When anger, disappointment or sadness begin to surface, acknowledge the feelings and begin to think of all the things you have to be grateful for in the moment.

o Say something like “this situation stinks, but I am grateful for _________________.

Additional Technology Apps/Resources