Persuasive communication

Persuasive communication is a form of manipulation, where the communicator influences our beliefs, emotions, or actions by appealing to biases.
It's a tool toinform, educate, and inspire us to make informed decisions. 

Active listening

Listening is a crucial communication element.

Most of communications involves listening.

"Blocks" to Listening

• Comparing: As you listen, you assess who's smarter/more competent--you or the latter. Some focus to compare (e.g. on who's better, suffered more, or worked harder).

• Mind reading: As they listen, they try to figure out what the other person feels/thinks.

• Rehearsing: You don’t have time to listen if you rehearse what you say. You're focused on the making the next comment. You must look interested, but your mind is going a mile a minute as you’ve got a story to tell or a point to make.

• Filtering: Listen to only certain things. You pay only enough attention to see if they're angry/unhappy/if you’re in emotional danger. If assured there are no such things, you relax.

Another way we filter is to avoid hearing threatening, negative, critical things.

• Judging: If you prejudge someone as stupid/unqualified, you don’t care what's said.

A basic listening rule is to only judge only after you heard and evaluated the message's content .

• Being right: You must twist facts, start shouting, makes excuses/accusations, call up past sins, to not be wrong. 

You can’t hear criticism, can’t be corrected, and take no suggestions to change.

• Daydreaming: You half-listen/a thing they says abrutly causes a chain of private links. 

You dream if you feel bored/anxious, but if you dream a lot with some, it may mean commitment lacking to knowing or appreciating them.

• Identifying: You're a good problem-solver: you help and suggest. You don’t have to hear more than a few phrases before you start finding an advice.

But you may miss what’s most crucial as you suggest.

• Sparring: You argue. They never feels heard as you’re quick to disagree. You focus is to find things to disagree with. You're clear of your beliefs/preferences.

A subtype to spare is the put-down--you use sarcastic remarks to dismiss their POV.

• Derailing: is accomplished by abrutly changing a subject/derail derail the conversation if you're bored with the topic.

  • E.g. By joking it off to avoid the discomfort to listen.

• Placating: “Right...Right...Absolutely...I know ...Of course you are ...Incredible...Yes...Really?”

You try to be nice/supportive and want to be liked--agree to anything. You half-listen.

Active listening steps