an unresolved expedition from the heart
across resilient bridges we pulsate along,
elongate through miles of supposed Meadowlands,
straight ahead urban streets Hudson County,
Friday night drive-ins.
Jersey hustles along
full court press
crackling photographic images:
of Allen’s ironic cantorial voice divulging Paterson secret gardens,
of Lou Costello’s wholehearted waves to Larry Doby Little League kids
parading down Broadway past Al Feldman’s Bob’s Smoke Shop,
past Uncles Morris and Harry's textile mills spinning,
prolific worms upstairs
copulating all through the night,
images of Paterson home town biorhythms pumping,
unbounded, flawless.
and we learned
Teterboro is the only eastcoast airport
where no one has ever been observed boarding a plane,
learned Prospect Park continues planting willow trees,
discovered young salesgirls secretly vomit away
ten pounds into crumbled lunch bags
to squeeze into Maria’s wedding dresses.
and we watched
Don Juan Matos pedaling his runaway bike through dusky Eastside Park,
cycling from his brujo heart for all it’s worth
in time for Eastside High School reunion,
his handlebar desert antics
bottlenecking the Friday night Rt 46 rush hour traffic,
the innocent grinning of it,
the nefarious wink of a curandero’s eye
right back at us magically roadblocking our world.
this life has been an unresolved expedition
where we were taught to battle stagnation,
counseled that patterns should not be permitted
inside boundaries of an innocent life lived.
once I was afraid to say “no”
I remained predictable-
once I sat still
head merged with my hands
like a kidnapper waiting to be sentenced.
once change came easy
now restraint is a better friend,
once magnificent dreams could be savored
now there is only surrendering to intoxicated sleep,
once I played the part of the erudite man
now my vanishing youth gazes down at me
from a skyscraper
slouching to tie my shoes,
once I dove headfirst for obvious rainbows
now I dismiss these visions entrusted to that world.
along this unresolved hometown expedition
we live under the same pregnant sky,
hoping to embrace one another in delight,
to carry each other to a place
far sequestered from the maddening crowds.
6/20/78
New York City