he practiced non-violence,
that beneficent Beowulf,
yet after much deliberation
decided to duel
the eccentric Viking: tactless Thorina.
indiscreet Thorina delighted in dressing up in high heels on Saturdays,
as he oversaw the usual weekend decapitation ceremonies,
100 warriors' heads just last week,
a new Scandinavian record!
mean shit, indeed.
so dressing at the dawn of the duel,
temerarious Thorina could not choose between
the 2 1/2" or 3” heels,
while back there at camp
bold begrudging Beowulf couldn't care less!
for his morning mind
was frozen with livid tortured disappointment,
as his once-comrade now traitor
had proclaimed allegiance to the hated Amazons!
thus, before morning prayers,
brave Beowulf threw the I-Ch'ng three times,
interpreting the sticks thoughtfully,
struggling whether this chosen path
would lead past the abyss,
supersede this quandary.
at last,
boorishly brave Beowulf,
head aching from these ethical deliberations,
impulsively began laying out his impressive display:
Danish swords
Celtic sharp-spiked maces,
sling-shots and not yet invented bazookas,
and sufficiently armed,
headed over hill and dale to meet up with
his fateful temptress, Thorina,
one last time,
for one last waltz.
hence, in closing (and to make a much much longer story short):
whichever of these two Piccadillies remained invincible according to the mythology
now remains abstractly opined somewhere in vaults of dusty high school textbooks,
where the true tale had been mythed,
and despite boarding the wrong train,
you, dear reader, have arrived at the correct undetermined unnamed station.
Lake Worth, FL
2013