an unresolved Paterson expedition

Photo by the author

an unresolved expedition from the heart

across resilient bridges we pulsate along,

elongate through miles of supposed Meadowlands,

straight ahead urban streets Hudson County,

Friday night drive-ins.

Jersey hustles along

full court press

crackling photographic images:

of Allen’s ironic cantorial voice divulging Paterson secret gardens,

of Lou Costello’s wholehearted waves to Larry Doby Little League kids

parading down Broadway past Al Feldman’s Bob’s Smoke Shop,

past Uncles Morris and Harry's textile mills spinning,

prolific worms upstairs

copulating all through the night,

images of Paterson home town biorhythms pumping,

unbounded, flawless.

and we learned

Teterboro is the only eastcoast airport

where no one has ever been observed boarding a plane,

learned Prospect Park continues planting willow trees,

discovered young salesgirls secretly vomit away

ten pounds into crumbled lunch bags

to squeeze into Maria’s wedding dresses.

and we watched

Don Juan Matos pedaling his runaway bike through dusky Eastside Park,

cycling from his brujo heart for all it’s worth

in time for Eastside High School reunion,

his handlebar desert antics

bottlenecking the Friday night Rt 46 rush hour traffic,

the innocent grinning of it,

the nefarious wink of a curandero’s eye

right back at us magically roadblocking our world.

this life has been an unresolved expedition

where we were taught to battle stagnation,

counseled that patterns should not be permitted

inside boundaries of an innocent life lived.

once I was afraid to say “no”

I remained predictable-

once I sat still

head merged with my hands

like a kidnapper waiting to be sentenced.

once change came easy

now restraint is a better friend,

once magnificent dreams could be savored

now there is only surrendering to intoxicated sleep,

once I played the part of the erudite man

now my vanishing youth gazes down at me

from a skyscraper

slouching to tie my shoes,

once I dove headfirst for obvious rainbows

now I dismiss these visions entrusted to that world.

along this unresolved hometown expedition

 we live under the same pregnant sky,

hoping to embrace one another in delight,

to carry each other to a place

far sequestered from the maddening crowds.

6/20/78

New York City