I call out for the ovens to burn away
my stubborn courage.
I call out for the Zen masters to teach me
there is no way no where no thing
itdoesntmatter.
I call out to the whores on 29th st
to open my heart to resiliency.
I call on the fbi to burst through my door
deport me to the Canadian tundra.
I call out for the buzzards to peck away at this shell
I manifest on my back.
I call out for Lao Tsu to teach me surrender.
I call out for the oceans to teach me silence.
I call out for Prior or Bruce or Williams to rap
so i might find some hip skepticism once more.
I call out for Mike my neighbor to trick me with his Sufi broccoli wisdom.
I call out for the highways of America to again stretch out their asphalt before these damaged eyes.
I call out for bass players to again reveal the lows,
violinists to mute the highs of human suffering.
I call on you to excise this cancer gnawing away at my psyche.
I call on you to abandon me so I might know more of who I am.
I call on you to smile occasionally for I have become dizzy by your grief.
I call on you to settle my will for this may be the last dance.
I call on you to bring me your ashes for I long to ascertain the truth.
I need you to drink up these tears for my eyes rain throughout my nights.
I need you to save yourself for I have become your nemesis.
I need you to lay down your weapons for I have quit the fight.
I need you to be reticent for I am turning Beethoven deaf.
I need you to cease considering my fears for you have your own.
I need you to be brave for I now ignore Mother Ocean’s voice.
I need you to respect yourself for my struggles do not matter.
I need you to love yourself for my adoration has slowly eroded.
I need you to celebrate alone for I am growing impassive.
I need you to drink my blood, though tainted, it remains pure.
And I need you to test yourself exhaustively,
that you may come to know
you are goddess
you are faultless
you are sovereign
and you are insulated
from foolish hearts such as this.