Advice Column
Dear Advice Giver,
My friend and I were very close, but now she never says hi to me in the hallway or talks to me during passing period. I don't know what I did, and I'm very heart broken that I've lost my best friend. Please help.
Dear Heart Broken
Losing a friend, especially a close one, is really hard! Here are some steps you can take to try to figure out how to mend your friendship. First, write down a few open-ended questions like "what have you been up to lately?" Perhaps your friend's answer may surprise you. Second. sit and listen to their side of the story. You could also plan an "I statement" to follow up your first question. "I feel hurt when you walk by me in the hallway and don't say hi. Did I do anything?" Then, again listen to the answer. A good follow up question would be "what can we do to make this right?" The follow it up with a "I miss you!" which shows your friend the value you place upon your friendship.
Dear bullies,
Behind my Back
Dear Advice Giver,
How do you handle a situation where someone is talking behind your back?
Tip #1: Do nothing. Distract and distance yourself from that which you know is not true and practice positive self talk. Just because they don't know how great you are, doesn't mean you can't remind yourself!
Tip #2: Kill them with kindness! Eminem once said, "if you are nice to me, I'll be nice to you. If your mean to me, I'll be mean to you." All this does is keep the cycle of negativity going. Stop it in its tracks. Most of the time people say mean things because they don't feel good about themselves so they have to put others down. If you're nice to them, even if they talk about you behind your back, no one will listen to what they have to say because they won't believe it.
Tip #3: Find positive people in your life that know the wonderful person you are and hang around and listen to what they have to say about you rather than people who probably don't even know you at all.
Tip #4: Get help and set boundaries: If the back talk gets too much to the point where you can't stop thinking about it (or it's hurting you too much), Keller has a wonderful staff just ready to help you! Make an appointment with a counselor (by filling out a yellow card in the main office) to discuss your feelings and to begin to make a plan to start taking action.