Beware The Woodwork Women 🦂

FOR ANITA HILL -- WHO STARTED THE BALL ROLLING

Beware the woodwork women

They are lurking, they are lurking

Just don’t get too famous, friend, that’s my sage advice

Just stay below the radar and maybe they’ll stay nice

Beware the woodwork women

Beware the woodwork women

They are waiting, they are waiting

Don’t think that you’ve outrun them -- you cannot run that fast

It might be years and years before they crawl out of your past

Beware the woodwork women

You’d best nix that run for office that you’ve dreamed about

The statute of their limitations never does run out

That time you dirty-picture-sexted Wendy what's-her-name

She intends to rat you out and share your new-found fame

. . . Should you get famous

That brief affair you had with X eleven years ago --

She told her friends -- so she has several witnesses who know!

That sexist, dirty joke you told in front of the whole class

A pretty sophomore wrote it down and plans to nail your ass

. . . Should you get famous

Beware the woodwork women

They are hiding, they are hiding

Like cicadas that lay dormant for a dozen years or more

They are waiting to get even – to settle that old score

Beware the woodwork women

Beware the woodwork women

They are watching, they are watching

One day you’ll turn around and see one coming after you

Then others will come piling on - shouting out “me too!”

Beware the woodwork women

That time you put your hand upon that babysitter’s thigh

Now she lays in waiting for her chance to crucify

That time at work you rashly groped your secretary’s breast

Friend, she’s only put on hold your overdue arrest

. . . Should you get famous

That time you and the preacher’s wife were small-town scandalized

She’s saved your emails and your notes and had ‘em notarized

That lovely thing who caused you -- to jump discretion’s track

Now she’s pinned a bull’s-eye target squarely on your back

. . . Should you get famous

EPILOGUE:

Some people say "time heals all wounds" - but not with woodwork women

It seems like time's a river that they're not about to swim in

So, friend, you best regard ALL girls as fragile china dolls

Who, should you try to bang one -- decades later --may have you by the balls!

. . . Should you get famous