Suggested Captions 05

1. In the third of a series of posters created by the Justice Dept. to raise awareness

of sexual harrassment, a husband is pictured kissing a wife who isn't "in the mood".

1. A French couple who, to save money, had cosmetic surgery done in Uzbekistan,

held a press conference today to warn other such would-be clients. "I would think twice."

stated Francois Ducal. "Their plastic surgery still has serious shortcomings" .

1. Cristina Aguilera has incorporated a significant "doggie" section

into her "Dog Eat Dog" World Tour.

Poodles of all ages line up for the show.

1. "Have you any idea how awful it makes me feel when you make those

mouth noises every time I walk by?"

2. "Well, you're certainly an attractive guy. What do I get for fifty bucks?"

1. New Mexico State spelling bee champion Faviola Luna prepares for the finals.

1. During a commercial break, Tony Awards hosts Jeff Daniels and Lea Michele are informed

that realtime Neilsen ratings indicate only seventeen people are watching the show.

1. Liz Hurley begins to realize the sissors won't cut the banner.

2. "So . . . this is what my career has come to -- inaugurating fucking La Roca Village."

1. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't believe the bowling ball is quite dry."

2. "If I wasn't bedridden I'd be all over that sweet ass!"

3. "So I held the 38 like this and plugged the son of a bitch right in the groin!"

1. Janice was going to get the waiter's attention one way or another.

2. At lunch, Maryanne was unusually horny.