BETWEEN A ROCK and A HARD-ON

So -- this essay is an attempt to point out how modern hyper-sensitive, militant feminism, combined with a hyper-sexualized/casual-sex culture, has put men in the position of being – as indicated by my title – between a rock and a hard-on. 

 “Why should we have to hide our bodies if they're a natural part of who we are as people and as a species? And if men still view women as objects when we’re baring skin, maybe it’s time they consciously work on moving past that.”   bustle.com

What's wrong with recording yourself masturbating and posting it on the web?  What could be sexier?

It's so wicked dirty sexy and you can have incredible orgasms knowing friends and strangers can watch you coming AND -- it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of.  Lots of girls are doing it.

UPON FURTHER REFLECTION -- I REALIZED I COULD DESTROY THEM ALL

                   FLIRTING  - OR FUCKING - WITH  DISASTER

WHAT TYPE OF SPIDER KILLS THE MALE AFTER THEY MATE?

Between a Rock & a Hard-On

(Thoughts inspired - to some degree - by the Harvey Weinstein #MeToo campaign.)

                              A MAN MAKING WOMEN FEEL UNSAFE

                                                                              RAW AMBITION 

So -- if the above blurbs are to be believed, it would seem that pretty much all women are being, or have been, sexually harassed/assaulted, and, it follows – as indicated above by the Huff Post – that all men are sexual harassers/assaulters.  My nose is picking up the unpleasant odor of “agenda” – like it’s kind of true, but also kind of bullshit.   

 First, in case you haven't noticed, the definition of what constitutes sexual harassment/sexual assault has greatly expanded. 

Second, the now-facile assembly of web-mobs can be misleading.  Suppose I get a million men – via social (justice) media – to come hashtag-forward and tell their stories about how some woman cheated on them.  (I’m sure millions of men have had such experiences.)  Then I try to use this web testimony to stereotype/denigrate all women as cheaters.  My point here is not to belittle the serious problem of sexual harassment/assault; it is to question the validity of trying to eliminate it via -- as noted above -- greatly expanding the definition of what constitutes such harassment/assault, and by calling forth web-mobs of women so as to "prove" all men are sexual harassers/assaulters.   

 Whatever the case, it is clear that men need to be more and more careful in their interactions with women – particularly in the workplace -- lest they cross what seems to be a more and more confining yet vague behavioral line.

He would have known I was reporting him anyway because I told him to his face in no uncertain terms that’s what I’d be doing when he asked me for a Saturday ‘business meeting’ at a restaurant and I found myself listening to an emotional profession of his desire to date me. I told him many other things to his face, too, many of which are not fit for printing.  Mary Katherine Ham - The Federalist 

There you go.  Her boss (under the guise of a business meeting) professes a desire to date her and she (a) gets enraged and (b) “reports” him. 

                                                                       The Gist 

                 BOYS AND GIRLS -- COME RIGHT IN AND WATCH MILEY

                            COWGIRL-FUCKING A GIANT COCK

The “rock” is the increasingly intrusive PC Police Department (PCPD) which now closely monitors all male/female interactions – in our bedrooms, in our offices, in our schools, in our streets.  (“Should Catcalling Be Illegal?” ran a recent headline).  The “hard-on” is the three-pronged combination of (1) the male sex drive (which evolution has painstakingly designed to be splendidly efficient at overruling even the brightest of brains), (2) a highly sexualized pop culture, and (3) the modern females’ increasing openness to casual, emotionless sex.    

“Sexuality is the strongest of the instincts; it makes men and women want to break through all restraints.  Others’ feelings and their rights, the judgment of family and friends, regard for one’s safety are no barriers to erotic passion at its peak.”  Jacques Barzun (from his most excellent book “From Dawn to Decadence”) 

 The Wildcard/Joker

So – as noted above, the big fat wildcard/joker in the middle of men’s narrow “rock and a hard-on” monitored environment is the historically unprecedented abundance of casual-sex-available females.  (A large majority of women -- a recent poll indicated 70% -- believe love is not an important component of having sex.) 

 “Women of the millennial generation are more likely to be indiscriminate with their sexual partners than ever before.  Study by the U. of Minnesota

 “Researchers say that young women are becoming equal partners in the hookup culture, often just as willing as young men to venture into sexual relationships without emotional ties”  Salon.com

 "The big difference between then and now is that now -- if a relationship develops, sex comes before the first date"  Daily Kos

 “Women benefit greatly from living in a world where they can have sexual adventure without commitment or shame”   The Atlantic

                                                                      Carmen was a quick study

Progress? 

 So – for the last 10,000 years -- during which men devoted 95% of their time and money trying to get laid -- cultures world-wide set up barriers/boundaries/taboos to control or attenuate male sexual aggressiveness -- in particular by making sure females avoided compromising or risky situations; by keeping the sexes segregated; by using chaperons; by insisting on strict standards of female modesty; and by stigmatizing sex outside of marriage.  None of these cultural "speed limits" completely eliminated the problems, but did largely mitigate them.

 These limits began evaporating in the West with the post-1960s birth-control-pill sexual revolution,

Hot Brave New World!  

                                             LOVE ME TINDER -- TWO NEAR-STRANGERS

So -- 21st century feminists insist women have the right to be casual-sex promiscuous, to dress/behave provocatively, and to put themselves into highly sexualized “party” environments and voluntarily get blotto drunk -- while at the same time also insisting that men behave like mannerly Episcopalian ministers out of some Jane Austen novel.

Aggravating Factors

 So – there are three huge aggravating factors at play in men’s rock & hard-on quandary: 

 First – In case you haven’t noticed – our pop culture (movies, TV, music) non-stop encourages/celebrates – adores! -- female sexual promiscuity.  Women are constantly portrayed as being eager for casual sex, often with people they hardly know.  Doesn’t it therefore follow that men are being pop-culture educated to perceive women as – what else? -- creatures eager for casual sex, often with people they hardly know?

OFTEN WITH PEOPLE THEY HARDLY KNOW

Second – In case you haven’t noticed, new new-age feminists now snicker/sneer at old-fashioned norms of modesty.  Instead, the norm has become women advertising their sex appeal, often blatantly. 

 “All the brides, they come to us and say “I want a sexy dress” Mrs. Herrera said.  NY Times

 “Why should we have to hide our bodies if they're a natural part of who we are as people and as a species? And if men still view women as objects when we’re baring skin, maybe it’s time they consciously work on moving past that.”   bustle.com

 "Just because someone chooses to be empowered by her sexuality publicly does not mean she is the enemy of feminist progress."  Rashida Jones

 “When we start talking about other people’s “modesty”, we are rape culture. It’s that simple. What you wear doesn’t equal the right to view you as an available sexual object.  I don’t agree with the reasoning that we need more modest clothing options to avoid sexualizing our young daughters.” Huffington Post

 “Yet, for today’s girls, sexy appearance has been firmly conflated with strong womanhood, and at ever younger ages” NY Times

 “Feminists can wear anything they fucking want”  Gloria Steinem

Third – Surely you must have noticed -- the internet is now an Isle-of-Manhattan-sized library of one-click easy-access hard-core pornography, much of it created by exhibitionistic amateurs, and much of it seeming to validate the feminist contention that female sexual appetites – for all kinds of sex – are equal to, if not greater than men’s.

 This leads me to one of my Blog Notorious “Laws”:

 The Law of Female Sexual Advertisement and Male Objectification:  The more normalized it becomes for females to dress and behave provocatively, and to advertise -- consciously or unconsciously -- an openness to casual, emotionless sex, the more normalized is their sexual objectification by males.  The more normalized male sexual objectification of females becomes, the higher the incidence of domestic violence, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. 

PART 2 -- Me

 So – 'nough about them -- how ‘bout me?

 The muddiness of this hot-button harassment/assault issue arises -- of course -- in determining exactly where the immensely subjective line is between aggressive pursuit -- and harassment/assault.  The feminist solution is simple: eliminate the line, i.e. to squelch/squash-like-bug all male aggression.  "Mary, now that we've kissed, may I have your permission to put my hand on your knee?"

  Irony Supreme:  So – above everything else, what’s most contributed to males’ rock & hard-on dilemma is this:  As females increasingly signal their openness to casual, non-emotional sex, and jettison any pretensions of modesty, they are coincidentally growing more and more intolerant of unwanted male attention.  They work diligently at improving and advertising their sex appeal -- while at the same time demanding not to be “objectified”.  (Show me an actress on a talk show and I'll show you someone who has given a great deal of thought to advertising her sex appeal.) 

Hyper-Sensitivity & The Joy in Dissatisfaction:  It seems obvious where this #MeToo crusade is headed.  Much like the Left has decided (stupidly, foolishly) that the way to rid America of white racism is to brand all whites as racists, the Left has now concluded that the way to eliminate sexual harassment/assault is to brand all males as sexual harassers/assaulters.  Such bone-headed, simplistic “solutions” accomplish only one thing:  to poison the relationship between the groups.

 "People ask me how I can be angry all the time, but I think there is a way that you can find joy in this dissatisfaction with the way things are"    Emma (the mattress girl) Sulkowicz

 “While some praised Mr. Bernstein for his energy and enthusiasm, others complained about his management style, namely his telling off-color jokes and addressing female employees as ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Honey,’ the people briefed on the matter said. . . Lincoln Center executives asked Mr. Bernstein to work with a coach to correct the behavior, the sources said." NY Times

Yes, This Is a Witch Hunt. I’m a Witch and I’m Hunting You – Lindy West - NY Times

 “In victim culture, people are encouraged to respond to even the slightest unintentional offense, as in an honor culture.”  National Review

 “In other words, as progress is made toward a more equal and humane society, it takes a smaller and smaller offense to trigger a high level of outrage. The goalposts shift, allowing participants to maintain a constant level of anger and constant level of perceived victimization.”  Campbell and Manning

 TO CONCLUDE:                  

Here is my psychic diorama of the windowed, narrow cage men are expected to inhabit between the rock and the hard-on:

Any kind of workplace compliment/statement about a female’s appearance can get you in trouble. (“When I introduced her to the CEO, his first comment--and I kid you not--was to commend me for hiring such an attractive woman. . . I was taken aback and embarrassed. In my mind, I thought she had every reason to bolt and never return.”  NY Times)

 Asking a workplace subordinate for a date can get you “reported”.

 Asking a coworker out more than once can get you reported or maybe fired.

 Having sex with a female subordinate can destroy your career.  (Blow jobs are OK if you're Bill Clinton.)

 Flirting in the workplace can get you reported.  (women are allowed to flirt; women are also allowed to sext)  

 Telling dirty jokes can get you reported or fired.

 Having sex with a female (willing though she may be) who has been drinking can land you in jail charged with rape. (“an intoxicated person cannot legally consent to sex” Obama’s DOJ)

If you are white-privileged, and some girl accuses you of rape, the so-called elites of our culture will jump with both jack-booted feet to the certainty that you are guilty.  Think – Duke Lacrosse or Rolling Stone’s U. Virginia reporting. 

I will close this too-long blabbing with two more laws from my Blog Notorious "Prestwood’s Laws" section: 

 The Law of Activist Exaggeration:  Activists heavily invested in a cause, such as eliminating sexual harassment or child abuse, will seek to expand the definitions of said harassment/abuse as widely as possible, thereby enabling them to prove statistically that -- rather than improving -- things are getting worse.  Thus such once-common practices as a parent spanking their child, or a man making unwanted advances to a co-worker, or a husband pressuring his wife to have sex, become matters of concern for law enforcement.   

Mattress Girl's Revenge:  Senator Gillibrand Gets On Board

PRESTWOOD'S LAWS -- The Law of Fallibility of Perfection:  Any attempt to perfect a system (such as a criminal justice system or an army or a factory, etc.) to the point where it makes no errors will result in making the system so complex and cumbersome as to render it incapable of performing its intended tasks.  

 Similarly, any quest for societal perfection -- for example attempting to create a society where NO women will be harassed -- must inevitably call for (a) an ongoing expansion of what behavior constitutes harassment, (b) for more and more -- and more -- intrusive monitoring of male/female interactions, and (c) increasingly harsher punishment for violations.  Such perfection-quests are guaranteed first-class launch pads for totalitarianism.

  PS  Today's Men -- Making Women Feel Unsafe

"Why should we have to hide our bodies if they're a natural part of who we are as people and as a species? ”   bustle.com

“Sexuality is the strongest of the instincts; it makes men and women want to break through all restraints.  Others’ feelings and their rights, the judgment of family and friends, regard for one’s safety are no barriers to erotic passion at its peak.”  Jacques Barzun (from his most excellent book “From Dawn to Decadence”) 

nar·cis·sism

noun

• excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

Am I supposed to hide my cock - as if I'm ashamed of it?