College Diversity &  🌚 "Preferences"

"Dismantling an educational system that for decades has valued contact among students with different sensibilities and replacing it with one that does not would be regrettable on many fronts. Justice Sandra Day O’Connor wrote for the majority in Grutter v. Bollinger that the benefits of a diverse student body are “not theoretical but real”.   Lee Bollinger -- President of Columbia University

 . . . it would be better if all sides acknowledged that “diversity” is a word that has lost whatever usefulness it may have had and has become an umbrella rationale for importing political criteria into the process of academic decision-making. We should be done with it. – Stanley Fish - NY Times

Of all great hoaxes on the public ever perpetrated

Of all grand shams and big bamboozles oozing perfidy

Of all moronic lame-o schemes that naiveté’s created

None tops that Goodyear blimped-up sacred cow – “diversity”

 I want to make it clear here -- I’m all for college mixing

But just don’t try and tell me some Statistics class is lacking

Because there’re no Tibetans in it monkishly transfixing      

The students’ herd-mentality with Himalayan yakking

Yet profs -- in pursuit of tenured sainthood – never lack words

To tell the world how much diversity’s enriched their classes

Just say the word and they – adroitly -- will bend over backwards

And in that pose – and most sincerely -- kiss their own wise asses

        One prof’s  example: 

        When my classes were more WASP and upper crusty

        That Eskimos ate blubber daily – everyone supposed

        But when we had one in the class we found we’d judged unjustly

        In truth he blubbed out only when the Burger King was closed 

        Another prof’s example: 

        All my students weren’t too hot on

        The French who, inexplicably, found Jerry Lewis funny

        But when Toulouse enrolled in class my students finally caught on

        It turns out Jerr’s the bastard child of De Gaulle and Bugs Bunny

The college deans, in terror of protests and litigation

Make sure that their percentages will affirm their actions

And sing the praises of diversity with jubilation --

Or risk inviting hostile Sharpton-esque fatal attractions

The blacks – the most diverse of all - in compliance with the norms

Share their great diversity primarily amongst their own

And in the comfort of their multi-cultural black dorms

Bask in the guilty kisses they are liberally blown

And judges – jumping logic through their well-intended hoops --

Decide who goes to Michigan – and who’s to be excluded

The key, of course, is to be born to P.C. racial groups --

And thus unhinged -- our constitution gets reconstituted

Diversity, now hailed as king, seizes the moral highland

Equal protection rights, alas, are roundly booed and hooted

And every emigrant who hits our new age Ellis Island

Is urged to hold his culture fast – lest it be diluted

And taught to use his native tongue to sing, “This land is my land”

And that old tub -- the melting pot – gets righteously jackbooted

And yet – these days I have a nagging thought I can’t let go --

It’s how things might be better now -- had the founders been “inclusive” 

Had the Iroquois, for instance, been included from the get go

Casinos in my neighborhood might not be so intrusive