101. The Tiny Police 👮🕵🏻‍♀️

The Tiny Police    

So -- you and me, pal, are slogging through our daily lives, worried about paying our bills, worried about keeping our jobs and concerned about our how our families are doing, and maybe like me, greatly confused about how our “hope and change” president turned out to be the biggest fraud since the Wizard of Oz .  

So -- there’s this big tribe of little tiny people I call the Tiny Police – who give their comfortable, educated lives meaning by caring deeply – weeping really -- that some people -- some “approved” groups -- are being made to feel “uncomfortable”.  Obviously, the Tiny Police are compassionate as hell.  They reek of it; they double-drip it all over certain “approved” groups.  Conversely, they also double-drip scorn all over "unapproved" groups – on them they urinate -- particularly white males and Christians.

FYI, the Tiny Police, tiny though they may be, are armed with supremely powerful microscopes – microscopes that can find “tiny-sin” in the tiniest of places; places you and I can’t possibly see with our naked eyes, or even imagine. 

Part 1:  The Insensitive Shirt

Washington Post Nov. 18, 2014 “Last week, after the European Space Agency managed to set its Philae lander down on Comet 67P, the organization’s accomplishment was marred by a serious fashion faux-pas. Matt Taylor, one of the physicists on the project, decided that the best outfit for his interview was a truly ugly bowling shirt in a busty-lady print. In a previous era, he might simply have been derided as a tasteless dork. But in this one, Taylor got caught up in a debate about how receptive the science and technology industries are to women.” 

Witness the above the guy wearing the loud shirt.  The insensitive dope “marred” – yes MARRED – the admirable accomplishment of a satellite landing on a comet.  He had to apologize.  He had to apologize because the Tiny Police noticed a great big tiny-sin: he was wearing a shirt depicting pretty girls in beach attire.  “Big fucking deal that you helped with the landing on the comet” said the Tiny Police.  “What we care about is that your insensitive shirt has made some women ‘uncomfortable’ ”. 

In fact, the Tiny Police informed him that the shirt was particularly offensive because, well, there aren’t enough women physicists, and according to the Tiny Police Investigative Unit (TPIU) this is because men in physics discriminate against women – make them feel “uncomfortable”.   To the Tiny Police, a physicist wearing a Hawaiian-type pinup shirt is like a Republican wearing a shirt covered with images of blacks eating watermelon -- Double busted!  The fact that (a) Matt liked his shirt and (b) he actually found the girls portrayed on it appealing -- that meant nothing.  Rather, it demonstrated how insensitive he was to the delicate feelings of certain fragile female flowers.                    

                                                         "I can't believe he wore that shirt."

And, son-of-a-bitch, this affects yours truly because I happen to own a few beautiful Hawaiian shirts covered with girls in swimwear, and now I’m going to feel “uncomfortable” wearing them because the Tiny Police have declared that those kinds of shirts will make some women  -- you guessed it – “uncomfortable”.  It thus occurs to me that the Tiny Police have no problem making certain people “uncomfortable” in order to prevent certain other people 

from feeling “uncomfortable”.        

 Part 2: The Tiny Police and “Redskins”

 Washington Post, September 2014:  “A large but shrinking majority of Americans say the Washington Redskins should not change their team’s name, according to a poll released Tuesday finding over 71% of the public does not think the name is disrespectful of Native Americans."

So – here we go again.  A few peewee members of the Tiny Police – always on the lookout for some tiny-sin that might make the preferred someones feel “uncomfortable”, decide that Native Americans must surely feel terrible -- humiliated/distressed – by having to live their day-to-day reservation-based lives knowing that the NFL has a team called the Redskins”.  "Good heavens", say the Tiny Police, "Native Americans must feel hugely “uncomfortable”.  "Why, the team might as well be called the Washington “Fire-Water Drunks” or the Washington “Casino Kings”. 

Of course, the Tiny Police don’t give a rat's ass about the minor detail that most NFL teams are named after fierce, formidable creatures -- Lions, Tigers, Titans, Bears, Giants, Panthers, etc. – and that therefore it is beyond obvious that any team selecting a Native American team name must regard them as being – well – fierce and formidable.  If Indians, i.e. Redskins, were really regarded as “inferiors”, there’s no way in hell a team would select an Indian-inspired team name.

Also, as indicated above, the Tiny Police also don’t give a good-god-damn what Native Americans actually think about the name Redskins.  Rather, they believe that if Native Americans aren't upset, they should be.  The poor things must not realize how demeaned they are by the term.  So, the Tiny Police, filled with self-righteousness, set out to rid America of this dreadful slur (while at the same time, of course, making themselves feel fabulously virtuous).

                                     "I feel so very good about myself -- being so very compassionate."

Notice in the above Wash. Post quote the phrase “large but shrinking”.  What that means is that the Tiny Police are making progress (they’re all progressives) in enlightening the clueless N.A’s and the public at large.  Surely, if the Tiny Police work hard enough, they’ll succeed in making the world a better place.  Maybe one day no one will dare say “Redskins”, and, understandably, as a result of this societal leap forward, the Tiny Police are certain that Redskins will begin feeling better about themselves -- be more confidant; do better in school, etc. 

Part 3:  The Tiny Police and Christmas

So – those Tiny Police – you gotta hand it to ‘em.  They are always willing and eager to major-fuck up societal norms to make sure that the “right people” don’t feel “uncomfortable”.

For example,  a few years ago I’m down in Fort Worth visiting my family and we go my granddaughter’s grade school “Holiday Show”, and at one point the kids on the stage sing a nice version of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” only they sing “I’ll be home for winter”.  This was because the Tiny Police and their goons (the ACLU) adamantly believe that some people will feel “uncomfortable” – might even be offended -- if the kids sing the word “Christmas”.   In fact, the goons have been doing their very best to rid the public sphere of all things Christian.  In the secular universe of the Tiny Police, non-believers must never ever be made to feel “uncomfortable”. 

Now, this is seriously double-standardish weird – because a few months ago I’m watching an NBC (a very liberal network) show about the 2014 Mount Everest tragedy where a lot of Sherpas were killed in an avalanche.  And, as evidenced in the show, prior to all Everest expeditions the locals hold a religious ceremony asking their gods to bless the coming attempt to climb the world’s highest-priced mountain. 

Now why this is weird is because NBC (this is prior to the tragedy) films this ceremony and all these foreigners – many from the U.S. – are participating and are clearly having a fine time.  Like – no one seems to be “uncomfortable” or “offended” by having to participate in someone else’s religious rites.  Of course, they don’t have many Tiny Police & ACLU goons skulking around the Himalayas, so no one was present to enlighten the out-of-towners that they really should be feeling “uncomfortable”. 

Incidentally,  -- regarding everybody participating -- as I recall that’s the way it was around the U.S. of A. for a couple of centuries.  Christians were the overwhelming majority of citizens, and nearly everyone – including non-Christians – joined in the festivities – at least to some small degree in their own way – like maybe having presents for the kids.  (See elsewhere in by blog “The Crucifixion of Christmas”)

But, starting around the same time that Americans landed on the moon, from under some rock the Tiny Police were hatched, and they began to organize, and began to imagine how awful – how “uncomfortable” -- non-Christians must feel having to listen to all those Christmas carols and see those Christmas decorations all over town – even at City Hall.      

Well, lately I started wondering about – say – what if yours truly and a few of my friends moved to Nbotcheeland, where they worship donkeys?  And  I’ve been trying to estimate how many of us non-donkey worshipers would have to move to Nbotcheeland before we would start feeling “uncomfortable” and 

“offended” about all the donkey nonsense.  

And then I was wondering how long it would be before we’d organize our own Tiny Police force (and goons) to begin to make the Nbotcheelanders "uncomfortable" -- to grasp that there were now enough of us emigrant non-donkey-believers to justify our growing feelings of being “marginalized” – of feeling “uncomfortable”. 

The last thing I’ll say – at least for now – about the Tiny Police is that I think seeing all this tiny-sin has misled them into disliking their homeland, i.e. America.  In fact, they really almost hate it.  I can’t underhand or explain this, except I’m thinking maybe it’s because they – with their tunnel-vision microscopes -- can see that America has made most of the world feel “uncomfortable”, which is weird because it seems like – as Q. Tarantino might put it -- it seems like the whole motherfuckin’ uncomfortable world wants to move here.