Dear Dr. Phil

Write a “Dear Dr. Phil” letter from your character, at any moment in the play after 3.1. You must include the following:

1. An introduction to who you are and what has been happening recently in your life.

2. A description of the events that are creating a difficult problem for you.

3. A specific question that you need advice about how to solve.

In doing this, be sure to include at least three quotations from the play. You may use things other characters say. You must introduce each quotation, fit it into the structure of your sentence, cite it correctly, an paraphrase/explain it.

Then WRITE BACK from Dr. Phil. Use his voice. YOU MUST take into account all the problems in the letter, and SUGGEST A SOLUTION!

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am a noble, rich, and if I do say so myself, handsome chap who has all the graces of nature. What is more, I am very fun-loving and pleasant to be with. “I delight in masques and revels” (1.3.111), for instance, and can dance better than anyone I know. Just the other day, I was just saying to a friend of mine that “I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria” (1.3.120). It’s true. Nobody can dance like me. My friend tells me all the time “Let me see thee caper,” (1.3.137). And I sure like to dance.

But I’m getting off the subject here. I guess the subject is about my friend, so maybe I was not off the subject after all. What was the subject? Sometimes I get confused. Anyway, my friend has a niece, and she is beautiful, and she needs a husband, and my friend says the she’ll marry me one day. The count of this country is in love with her, but my friend says “she’ll none of the Count” (1.3.107), and gives me hope. But each day I lose hope again, and need again to be reassured. After all, it is very expensive to be a guest here in this house-I keep sending for more money. I guess it costs a lot to get a woman interested in you.

The thing is, the woman seems to love everyone more than me. Just today, for instance, I saw her “do more favors to the Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon me” (3.2.4-5). This page of the count is a good-looking, polite young man, and I felt pretty sad and jealous when it seemed like my friend’s niece liked a servant more than she likes me. Another friend reassured me that she “did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver” (3.2.17-19). Well, if she wants me to be jealous, she has it. I have written the youth to challenge him to a duel. I’m sure I scared him with it: I told him that if he kills me in the duel, “thou kill’st me like a rogue and a villain” (3.4.165).

The problem is, I think he will. I am a fantastic fencer, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a little out of practice, and my friend tells me that the youth is “a very devil” (3.4.276) at dueling. I tried to buy my way out of it, by offering the lad my horse, but according to my friend, “there’s no remedy” (3.2.296) and we must fight.

Help me! I don’t want to die before I at least get married. Can you think of any way I can get out of this duel without harming my honor, and at the same time impress the lovely lady that I am so impressed with?

Signed,

Deeply in love

Letter from Dr. Phil...

Dear Deeply in Love:

If you've watched my show, then you know a little bit about my Life Laws. In case you have not been watching very carefully, let me remind you of Life Law #1: You either get it or you don't.

Clearly, Deeply in Love, you are one of those who don't. Have you considered the possibility that your friend's niece will never have anything to do with you? Have you ever considered the idea that your friend is using you?

It's time to get real, Deeply in Love, You don't have a relationship with your "friend"'s niece, and fighting a duel for her is not going to get you one. If you want to get married, find someone who loves and respects you, and make a relationship that is based on trust and connection, and not on silly games, not on trying to impress someone.

But if you are determined to go ahead with this duel, let me know, and we'll get you on the show. It'll be great for ratings.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Dr. Phil

THE TEMPEST:

Dear Dr. Phil,

I sure hope you can help me. I have had a dozen miserable years, and today I’m facing perhaps the most difficult problem of my life. But I am ahead of myself; let me explain.

I used to be the duke of Milan, and while I was a beloved ruler, I was also fascinated by magic and other kinds of learning. I paid too much attention to my books and made the mistake of trusting my brother Antonio with the day-to-day affairs of the city. I paid the price “twelve years since” (1.2.66), Phil, when Antonio paid off my old enemy Alonzo, the king of Naples. They conspired together to banish me. In the dead of night they put me and my three-year-old daughter Miranda on a “rotten carcass of a butt” (1.2.174), and we floated off into the sea. They assumed we drowned.

Luckily, we landed here on this island, where I raised Miranda into a lovely young lady and continued my studies. Now I am a powerful magician, and I have the opportunity of my lifetime to get revenge. “Bountiful fortune… hath mine enemies brought to this shore” (1.2.211-13), and so I raised a tempest to shipwreck them, and have let my daughter see Alonzo’s son, the prince, Ferdinand. They promptly declared that they “do love, prize, honor” (3.1.86) each other. So far so good.

Meanwhile, my brother conspired with Alonzo’s brother Sebastian to try to murder Alonzo, whom I saved. Both my brother and Alonzo’s are evil and power-hungry. I’ve been watching Alonzo mope around the island, mourning the loss of his son Ferdinand. He doesn’t know that his son is even alive, let alone in love. Plus, I sent my fairy servant Ariel to convince Alonzo that the death of his son is punishment for his role in deposing me. He is sorry enough to wish that he himself “were mudded in that oozy bed where my son lies” (5.1.175-76).

As if all that weren’t enough, my monstrous servant Caliban has enlisted the aid of a couple of drunken servants of Alonzo’s. They want to kill me and have their way with Miranda, and they “would be king o’ the isle” (5.1.433). Frankly, they are more an annoyance than a threat.

So now I have to decide what to do with all these murderous people. I am tempted to avenge myself on them, which would be easy, and they deserve it. Even if I decide to spare their lives, I could easily maroon them here, sail away with their ship, and go rule back in Naples and Milan. As far as Ferdinand knows, his father is dead, so I could install him and Miranda to rule Naples, and then go live the rest of my days back home in Milan.

But I know that “the rarer action is in virtue than in vengeance” (5.1.35-36). Alonzo “being penitent” (5.1.38), should I spare him? And what about the drunkards, and the evil brothers, and my monster Caliban?

Please guide me. I used to watch your show every day while I practiced my magic spells, and I am convinced that only you can help me decide what to do.

Signed,

A Mighty Magician