23 August 2024

Dear Parents,

This week, I’d like to share a personal reflection from a recent moment watching my son play cricket. As I stood among the many parents, loyally supporting our children’s sporting endeavors, I took a step back to consider his character—both on and off the field. It reminded me that sports offer an incredible opportunity not just to witness our children’s growth but also to actively participate in shaping their character. I firmly believe that building and strengthening character is one of the most important foundations for future success in all areas of life.

What is character?

Character encompasses a wide range of social-emotional skills, such as empathy, collaboration, and resilience, which help define who we become and how we interact with the world.

Given its importance, it’s reassuring to know that, as parents, we have a significant role in nurturing our children’s character, even if we didn’t receive the same guidance growing up. 

Here are some ways we can support this development:

Use rich emotional language: Regularly name emotions (e.g., happy, sad, frustrated, disappointed) to describe how you’re feeling and how you think your child might be feeling. Consistent use of these terms helps your child become familiar with them and comfortable expressing their emotions through words. After a sports fixture, try focusing on character development rather than just the result.

Establish clear family expectations: Set clear and consistent boundaries and expectations for behaviour in your home. Use phrases such as, “In our house, it’s always OK to talk about our feelings,” or “In our home, we don’t hit when we’re frustrated,” or “In this family, we help each other out with chores because that’s one way we show our love.”

Praise effort, not just results: Developing a “growth mindset” involves recognising and praising your child’s effort, persistence, and willingness to try new things, rather than solely focusing on outcomes.

Provide a sense of safety and security: Forming a strong attachment with your child is one of the most crucial things you can do as a parent. When your child sees you—and by extension, their home—as a safe place, they feel confident to explore the world, express themselves, and seek help and support when needed.

Embrace challenges: Don’t shy away from difficult situations. Allow your child safe, age-appropriate opportunities to face fears, push through challenges, have tough conversations, or navigate conflicts. These experiences build confidence and equip them with essential tools for engaging with others. Allowing your child to try (and fail!) safely is critical.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful as you continue to raise a child with strong character.