To an outsider, it would have seemed like a quaint and quiet town. It would have seemed empty, with the streets barren and deserted, but that was true. But to anyone who had lived there their whole life, they knew there was a reason for that. The only building with some lighting-- although it was quite dim-- was the tea shop. The lights were constantly flickering, but no one planned to replace them. It smelled like biscuits and the strong aroma of black tea wafted from the back of the room. To an outsider, it may have seemed a bit peculiar and they would not have felt at ease immediately, but they would have stopped on their journey for a cup of tea. I was that outsider once.
I stumbled across this town once, many years ago. The streets were bustling back then, with people pouring in and out of the shop and hundreds of small porcelain teacups filled to their brim with piping hot tea flying across the room, from the kitchen to customer. Back then, the doors were always open, the bell on the top of it always ringing until the sun went below the horizon. The workers inside the shop were always dashing to and fro, setting trayfuls of teacups on counters.
Back then, everyone gave you a smile when you walked in the room. It was such a pleasant atmosphere- nothing like I’d ever seen before. Perhaps that was why I dismissed it as slightly eerie the first time I entered, but my opinion changed quickly. Between the wonderful tea and the wonderful people, I slowly became attached to this tea shop; It was impossible not to. I did not expect to stay in this town. It was supposed to only be a pit stop, but instead of stopping for a cup of tea, but I ended up staying there for a little longer than I imagined.
It was at the tea shop where I first met Marie. Right away I could tell, something was not right. She was perfect- too perfect for me to believe she existed. And I was right. She didn’t exist. It didn’t take too long to realize she was only another figment of my imagination- someone I could see, but no one else could. I was fine with that realization. Over the years I had gotten used to seeing people and caring for them, before learning that they never were real. I had gotten quicker at recognizing who was real and who was not.
Yet even after I realized Marie did not exist, she never really left. She would always be in that tea shop, sipping a cup of tea quietly, observing everything that went on around her. I talked to her of course, as I could. No one else could, but it did not matter if they saw me talking. Everyone was too busy in their own world to wonder what was up with the person by the window talking to a chair. It felt real to me. That wave of hurt I had always felt whenever I realized that these people did not exist never washed up on me when it came to Marie. It remained far at sea, never to crash on the shore.
Marie was wonderful to talk with. She was the person who always knew what to do, and could always make your day better, no matter how bad it had been. I got in the habit of going into the tea shop every month. Months turned into weeks, weeks turned into days, and soon enough, the only thing that I looked forward to in my day was 6:00 in the afternoon, when I would walk into the tea shop. It was what I got up in the morning for, and why I could sleep peacefully every night.
So I chose to believe Marie existed. It the back of my head, I knew Marie was not real, but when everything else in you says that the person in front of you is real, it is hard to believe they are not. I ignored the people around me, who eventually did notice the person by the window talking to a chair, and that came at a cost. I would get looks from people, some fascinated by the situation going on a few feet over, and some hushing their children who were asking questions about what was going on. Eventually, I was dismissed as “the strange one” and the one your little children should avoid, because who knew what I was thinking? Did I know what I was thinking?
Eventually, their fascination grew into fear. When people do not know what to think, fear is the easiest answer. And in my case, it was the only answer they knew. I was always there, rain or shine, promptly at 6:00 in the evening to get a cup of tea and sit with Marie. Never once was I questioned; people just assumed the worst and not a single person had to courage to ask me what I was doing. Still, life went on. It seemed strange that no one ever tried to approach me. Though, as time passed, I ignored it and enjoyed my days there.
Then the day came where things took a turn. I had started a conversation with Marie as I had walked in. That particular day, everything had gone well, and I had walked in with an overall better mood. For once, I was happy before I entered the shop. Marie noticed, as she always did, and asked me if anything had happened. I don’t remember too vividly what I had said then and there, but I knew I wanted to talk to Marie outside the shop. I began to wonder why Marie only existed in the tea shop and never went outside once. If only she could see the outside world! I was sure she would love it.
It was surprising that I never thought that it was strange that Marie was only in the tea shop. Surely if she was a part of my imagination, she would show up wherever I wished her to. Regardless of this, I just accepted that she could only appear in the tea shop, for reasons unknown to me. I was never curious why. Besides, it was not like she would know the answer.
These desires to see Marie outside once again reminded me that Marie existed only in my head. I realized this halfway through the conversation and had sighed. It was so easy to forget this wasn’t real. Marie asked me what happened, and I gave in. I told her everything I knew but did not want to believe. I told her she did not exist. Why did I even bother telling her that?
Marie sat quietly for a minute before uttering her response. “No, I exist. But you do not. You have never existed.”
This left me perplexed and perturbed. She didn’t seem to be joking. Could it be possible? I knew she was not real, but I never thought that maybe it was not her who was nonexistent, but me. It left an uneasy feeling in me, knowing what she said was not right- or at least not entirely right.
I responded the only way I could think of, two seconds later. “No,” I started slowly. “That isn’t possible. What do you mean? That cannot be true!”
Marie once again responded calmly. “This was not what you expected. I know you aren’t real to anyone else in this room.”
I spoke more frantically, “No, no one else in this room believes you exist! It is you who is part of my imagination!”
“If you’re sure I don’t exist and I’m sure you don’t exist, what does that mean? They can’t both be true! One of us is here and one of us is not! And I know I am here!” Marie spoke faster, panicking and rushing through the words.
“Stop it! I know I’m here too! You can’t deny my existence when I’m right in front of you,” I exclaimed! We were shouting now, and the panic inside both of us was clear on our faces. At that moment, it was just the two of us and the rest of the room had blurred out; the only clear figure was Marie.
“Well, neither can you! How do you know I’m not real?” Marie retorted back.
“Because I just know alright? I’ve always known and let’s not get into how I know! I just know! What’s your excuse?!” I took a step back. Surely Marie wouldn’t be able to come up with a reason.
“If you won’t tell me, I won’t tell you,” she said, but then she took a deep breath and calmly began to speak again. “Here, I have an idea. Instead of arguing over our existences, let’s prove that one of us exists and the other doesn’t!”
“Wait, what! How do you plan to do that?” Her idea seemed absurd.
“Hey!” She turned around and went to tap a lady having a cup of tea. As she turned, the rest of the room became clear. Everyone was minding their own business and no one bothered to even glance at the commotion we were causing. At that moment, I realized something was deeply wrong. The lady did not turn her head back to see Marie. She continued chatting with the person in front of her. Marie
“Hey!” Marie exclaimed! “Is there anybody in there! Hello! Hey! Howdy! Ciao? Oh, come on!” With every greeting, Marie’s voice seemed to lose hope. By the last try, she was on the verge of crying. It felt bad that Marie didn’t even know she wasn’t real. This always happened to all of them. I couldn’t help but feel pity towards her, even though she was never there.
“Here, let me prove to you that at least I exist. This time I reached out to tap the lady. “Hello? Hey! Excuse me?” My voice began to shake after every word, realizing nothing I too said was being heard. Maybe this lady was just deaf? We had to keep our hopes up.
Marie seemed to think the same thing. After all, neither of us wanted to believe the truth. I tried to pick up a teacup, but my hand went right past it- feeling it, but not being able to move it. Marie had come across a similar conclusion, by failing to eat a pastry right off of someone else’s plate. All our attempts were futile and I could not accept it- but it was clear now. We were clear now. Our hearts sank as everyone in the room continued to sip their tea quietly, not hearing anything we said, or seeing anything we tried to do.