Hello, my name is Nigel Evans, and this is my story of the iPhone 9. I have been a dedicated Apple products user for many years now. From Macintosh to iMac and iPod to iPhone, I have always been there for every new release. Hell, I can even be considered an Apple expert. I do a ton of research on all of the products Apple offers, and I know everything from the year it was created to its display and build and all of its inner workings.
However, over the years, I have noticed one minor anomaly, specifically with their phones. Every year Apple releases a new iPhone, and with each model, the name changes based on numbers. Throughout almost 15 years of the existence of iPhones, I have noticed how there was never an iPhone 9. Where is it? This question has been stuck in my head for four years now; it is like a broken record in my brain that will not stop playing. I have been doing a ton of research and cannot find anything out there that gives me an answer. I swear this mystery is going to turn me into a psychopath! Unless…unless maybe if I go to the apple store and confront apple myself, then maybe I will get a decent answer for once.
The following day I woke up and got my whole morning routine out of the way before getting in my car to drive down to the Apple store. It took me around 20 minutes to get there due to traffic. I eventually found a parking spot and headed inside the building to find an employee.
However, when I walked in, all of them were busy dealing with other customers and their pathetic technical problems until I heard a quiet "Nigel" in the corner of my ear. I turned around to see it was my old friend Gus from High School! "I had a feeling that was you, buddy," Gus said happily. "Oh my goodness!" I said excitedly. "Gus, it has been so long. How is everything going with you nowadays?" I asked him. "Honestly, things are going quite well. If you had not noticed already, I now work as an employee at this apple store." Gus said proudly. I had not noticed that he was even in his uniform for the job. "That is great," I said, a little surprised and confused. Gus and I talked for another minute or two before I suddenly remembered why I came here in the first place. "Oh, by any chance, Gus, why did Apple choose not to release the iPhone 9?" I asked him. "Uhh…well you see uh," said Gus, stuttering. "See what?" I asked. "I've been trying to figure this out for a solid four years, and I just simply need the answers," I said impatiently. “Uhhhh…god uh…uhhhh.” said Gus. He could not even get words out anymore at this point. He had begun sweating and was gripping his chest tightly until…FLOP.
Gus fell to the floor. He had passed out because he had a panic attack when trying to answer my question. Soon an ambulance arrived to take Gus to the hospital, but I was not going to let something like that stop me from solving this mystery.
As I returned home, I immediately rushed to my living room to think of a new plan. I had come up with a theory that the employees were hiding an unreleased iPhone 9 model in every Apple store. I kept thinking about plan B as the time kept on speeding by, but then I suddenly thought of the perfect idea. If I genuinely wanted to see an iPhone 9, I would have to break into the Apple store.
Two days had passed, and now I thought my new plan was ready to go into action. I already knew that the local store in my area closed at midnight, so I already had my time management figured out; all I had to do was not get caught.
It was 12:34 AM, and I was standing outside of the store with my mallet, which I had stored in a guitar bag to make things less suspicious to the public. I looked to make sure that no one was around, not a single soul in sight. I took a deep breath, picked up the mallet, and "NIGEL"!
I instantly turned around to see Gus walking right towards me. "What the hell are you doing?" he retorted. "Listen," I said. "I need those answers badly! Does the iPhone 9 exist or not? "I can't answer that, Nigel," said Gus. His tone of voice had awkwardly become calm and relaxed, but I sure as hell was not. I immediately charged at Gus and threw him to the ground, and grabbed my mallet. I held it upright above his head and was about to strike when suddenly I froze. I looked down at Gus to see him chucking quietly at me. "Hehe, you think that killing me is going to get you any closer to seeing an iPhone 9?" he said. "So you're saying that one does exist!" I said, confused. "Yes, I am," Gus said calmly. "Would you like to come and see the models stored in the back?" "Hell yeah!" I said with excitement but also some confusion. Why did Gus suddenly offer to help me find what I was desperately looking for after I almost murdered him on the spot? I would soon find out.
Gus took me into the back of the store, and I couldn't believe what I saw. In the center of the room, there was a small white table with a glass box containing the iPhone 9 model. "Oh wow!" I said in astonishment. "Is this the one?" I asked. "The one and only," Gus replied. I was still stunned at the model and its slim design. "Can I maybe get the chance to hold it?" I asked. "Why, of course, you can," Gus said with a grin. He opened the box and placed the phone in my hands. "Turn it on," Gus told me. "You won't regret it." Tempted, I turned on the phone only to instantly be blinded by a bright bulging white light!
I couldn't see a thing in the room now, not even Gus. My eyes felt as if they were bleeding. Suddenly I could feel an intense force present in the room. It felt like it was pulling at my face and my entire body. "Gus, what the hell is happening!" I screamed. All I could hear was fainted chuckling before the iPhone literally absorbed me.
Ten years later, it has been a whole decade of me stuck living in the point of view of the iPhone. I've been writing this message for everyone the day after I became trapped in here, having to constantly jump from one letter to another on the digital keyboard. I haven't eaten anything since the incident, and also because my life depends on battery percentage now since I'm part of the phone now. I also haven't talked to anyone since; the only interaction I've had is when Gus makes his yearly visit to check in on me. By "check-in," he looks at me and starts laughing for a good 5 minutes, and then leaves.
I'm writing this as a cry for help; I will make my story heard to the public. 815 Boylston street is where you will find the apple store. Once you get there, go to the back room and try anything to set me free, this is Nigel Evans signing off.