Adam laid in his bed Saturday morning, feeling a bit sluggish. Suddenly he was jolted awake by a screeching sound next to his ear. His phone had grown a mouth and was screaming as much as its lungs would allow (did it even have lungs?) “12 new messages! 1,612 unread emails! And someone left a comment on your post! Are you awake yet!?” Doing what anyone would do in this situation, he picked it up and threw it across the room, to which it let out a bloodcurdling scream before smashing against the lamp. A deep sigh rumbled from the fridge as Adam slowly turned to face the beast before him. “Foolish child,” a booming voice echoed. “You cannot defeat us so easily.” Adam looks behind the fridge and sees his dad’s old baseball bat and he knew he was in for a good time. He fell into the fridge. He could hear the echo of the fridge’s voice “How’s it feel now?!” It was dark inside the fridge and Adam was scared. “Help! Help!” he screamed pathetically. “Relax, you’ll get used to it,” said a friendly carton of orange juice. “But it’s COOOLLLDDD,” Adam groaned in frustration. “I’ve been here for 3 months buddy, suck it up,” said the leftover Thanksgiving turkey. The other uneaten foodstuffs all started yelling at Adam, either begging to be eaten or begging to not be eaten.