I don’t know what happened, okay? All I ever did was feed him the ultra protein diet they had a Pet Smart. My poor little Swimmy the Third, my pride and joy.
Poor little Swimmy was a swordfish from Peru. If only I had read the warnings on the back of the protein diet before I fed it to him. But I did, and I can never take that back, The Knowledge imported from this label could never fix the increasing size of Swimmy. Perhaps it should have been my wake-up call when he swelled to the size of the Hindenburg, but no, I just kept pumping that protein into him. HOW COULD A HIGHER POWER ALLOW SUCH EVIL, SUCH INJUSTICE TO OCCUR IN THIS CRUEL AND MISERABLE WORLD. Ah, forgive me, I must have briefly lapsed into existential dread. Maybe to make up for it I’d sue Petco for letting my sweet, dear Swimmy slowly change for the worse. Poor Swimmy. Rest in piece Swimmy.