Selene doesn’t remember how many times she has been to the prison.
She’s made countless trips to it, probably almost every week if she was honest, trips that ended in her standing in front of the first building, heart pounding in her chest, hand clutching her satchel as she tried to calm her heart, to will herself to take a step into the first room.
Each time she never made it past the line where the grass and the cement meet. Her heart always crawling up her throat and her limbs turning into ice before she could take the last step.
Each time she would hear the same farewell words from Diana.
“No worries, come inside when you’re ready.”
Except for today. She made it past the line today and she heard new words come from Dianas’ mouth but a part of her regretted it. Regretted stepping across the line, regretted going across the manmade plains of fire to Cecelias' cell. She regretted not having a script to tell her what to say when she saw her. Eyes distant with defeat, shirt torn and stained with blood, defeated, broken, alone.
What would she say to her anyway? That she was a monster? That she got what she deserved? That she missed her? For once Selene had nothing to say to her. For once Cecelia had nothing to say to her, gone were her rambles and explosive greetings, not even a gentle ‘hello' or a meaningless ‘how are you’ were left in its dust. Only silence.
Selene found herself looking at her feet, her hands fidgeting with the silver and gold rings she wore and her fingers ghosting the calluses she had gained from archery practice on her hands. What would she even say? What seemed appropriate? What words were not too cold, but not too endearing at the same time?
Her hours of reading books in libraries failed in providing adequate words for her. After all, all the fairy tales and novels that she had ever read showcased the protagonists escaping their unfortunate situation and living a happily ever after while the antagonist would be left behind to die, to rot in a moldy prison, forever disgusted by the world.
Just like how Cecelia was right now.
Selene saw Cecelia move from the top of her view, an awkward little shift that changed nothing about her position save for the arm over her knee. It allowed Selene to take a good look at her hands though, nails bitten down to the point of raw flesh, fingers scratched and bloodied as if she punched the walls in her boredom.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Selene found herself saying, her mouth opening before her mind could even register the action.
Cecelia looked up at her, confusion flashing through her eyes despite her expressionless face, “... what?” she asked after a moment of silence.
“Your nails. You should stop biting them,” she clarified, pointing to Cecelias’ hand, “I can tell you’ve been chewing on them-- probably almost every day judging by the state of them, how many times have I told you not to do that?” she huffed, her arms crossing across her chest.
Cecelia looked at her, dumbfounded.
“What?”
“No it’s just…” she let out a small laugh, “it’s nothing, sorry Lene I won’t do it again.”
Selene felt her heart shatter, Cecelias’ voice sounded worse than she looked, her voice was quiet, tired-- beyond exhaustion. She sounded broken, destroyed to the point that it seemed like she was hanging by a thread and her hold on it was slipping with every second. Even her laugh sounded that way, devoid of all emotions except fatigue.
“Thank you for visiting me,” Cecelia whispered, “I haven’t seen anyone since Alex visited me in February, it's... it's nice to see a familiar face.”
“It’s- It’s March, March 13th.”
“Oh.”
“Sera told me you had our cat in your... base.”
“Yeah…" Cecelia cringed at the memory of her base, "yeah, I did. Did she?...” she left the question unfinished, she knew Selene would understand what she was asking anyways.
“She told me everything, I asked her to.”
They fell into silence again and Selene found herself letting out a sigh, her body squatting down to let her sit on the black floors
“Let's talk… um… Cecelia."
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Ummm… nothing really important, just trivial things. Like…,” Selene took a look around the room, “what do you do in here?”
Cecelia shrugged, motioning to the table and the clock on the wall, “I stare at the clock, sometimes I write, sometimes I stare at the field of fire… there’s not much to do in here if I’m being honest.”
Selene nodded, “do they uh… do they feed you properly?”
“They give me soup, sometimes other things like rice and stuff but mostly soup.”
“Do they talk to you?”
Cecelia shook her head, “too much work with the fire field.”
“Understandable. Has uh… has Sera visited you?”
She shook her head again, “no, Alex has been the only one that has other than you. Ironic as that is.”
“Okay… um…,” Selene shifted from her spot on the floor, her head looking down at her nervous hands. Silence passed between the two before it was broken by a quiet question from Selene, her head tilting up to the stone ceiling to avoid Cecelias' gaze.
“Do you… do you miss anything?” she questioned in a mumble.
She heard Cecelia let out a shaky exhale, “well… I miss being able to run…” she started, slowly listing things off, “I miss being able to eat whatever I want… I miss the sun… I miss my armor, my sword, I miss my bed…”
“I miss…,” Cecelia paused, her voice giving out for a brief second, “I miss our cats, S’mores... Ashes and Nubby… and I miss… I miss the stars,” her lips crinkled into a sad smile, “I miss our clearing in the woods, you know, the one where we could see the sky and be bothered by no one, where we could escape from the kingdom and our responsibilities... but most of all... I miss you, Selene.”
Selene sucked in a breath, she had refused to let tears spill today but Cecelia made it hard, her voice was tainted in emotions that made Selene feel a twinge of sympathy for her, and the way she talked about the clearing-- about their clearing made Selenes’ chest hurt as if an arrow had embedded itself into her heart.
“S’mores…” Selene started, her fingers twisting the rings on her hand, “S’mores misses you too, she spends a lot of time curled up in a bed of your clothes but she’s playing with Nubby and Ashes more often now... um…I still visit the clearing sometimes, by myself, of course, the peach tree we grew is taller than me now, and uh…”
I miss you too, Cece.
“... the stars miss you too.”