Despite common belief, an unassuming chickenpigeon does not typically take baths in the North Pacific ocean. No, instead, they prefer to travel all the way to the town of crankerpiggerville, where chickenpigeons roamed free and happy. 

The scariest moment of my life happened over the course of one summer, not just one summer, two summers. Or perhaps three now, time warping curses are one hell of a spell. No, I think it was two and a half, if I recall the Swamp Monster’s words correctly. Anyways, between the times of 1-3 years ago, a child named String Cheese was lost to the infamous Swamp Monster. 

One day, a magical seed fell into the ground on a mountainside, and sprouted into a beanstalk. However, the beanstalk shed tears each day because unlike its fellow stalks, it was unable to stalk others...

Mr. Brown was an average art teacher who loved nothing more than to relax after work with a big plate of spaghetti. That was, until one day when his students had called him at his house. He was enjoying the spaghetti the students had made for him, then he heard it, something about the spaghetti. 

I hate string cheese. Wait, no… I highly dislike cheese. Mommy said that hate is a bad word. Good thing Mommy is dead. String cheese killed her. String cheese attended her funeral and threw string cheese around like confetti as he screamed. I hired the shredder of all string cheeses to play string music as he stringed stars on stringed lights above a silly string casket of my stringy mother. 

1. Never step foot in a physics class, for you will question your entire existence

2. If you believe hard enough, anything can pop into existence

3. “Hapiness” is a concept of happiness without physics

4. Find a walrus and become its friend