Experiencing bullying or being around a bully or people who are being bullied can have a negative effect on our schooling and on our life.  

Learning about bullying and the resources to deal with those behaviors are important. 

What is the Bystander Effect?

The bystander effect occurs when the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation, against a bully, or during an assault or other crime. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is for any one of them to provide help to a person in distress. People are more likely to take action in a crisis when there are few or no other witnesses present. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bystander-effect 

Factor 1:  The presence of other people creates a "diffusion of responsibility."  Because there are other bystanders, an individual does not feel the pressure to take action.  The responsibility to act is perceived to be shared among all of the bystanders. 

Factor 2:  Being around other people (bystanders) can engage a human need to behave in socially acceptable ways.  When other bystanders fail to respond, an individual can take this as a signal that a response is not needed or not appropriate. 

There is no simple solution to bullying or a foolproof way to handle a bully. 

Since bullying usually involves more than one or two incidents, you may have to be persistent in reporting each and every bullying incident until it stops. 

Remember: There is no reason for you to ever put up with any kind of bullying.

• Don’t blame yourself. It is not your fault. No matter what a bully says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel. The bully is the person with the problem, not you.

• Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you unhappy.

• Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or reading cyberbullying messages over and over. Instead, delete any messages and focus on the positive experiences in your life. There are many wonderful things about you, so be proud of who you are.

• Learn to manage stress. Finding healthy ways to relieve the stress generated by bullying can make you more resilient so you won’t feel overwhelmed by negative experiences. Exercise, meditation, positive self-talk, muscle relaxation, and breathing exercises are all good ways to cope with the stress of bullying.  

• Speak with a counselor. It can help to have a person who is not involved and who can help you process your thoughts and come up with ideas.  

• Spend time doing things you enjoy. The more time you spend with activities that bring you pleasure—sports, hobbies, hanging out with friends who don’t participate in bullying, for example—the less significance bullying or cyberbullying will have on your life.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/bullying-and-cyberbullying.htm 

• Don’t respond to any messages or posts written about you. No matter how hurtful or untrue they are, responding will only make the situation worse.  Provoking a reaction from you is exactly what the cyberbullies want.  

• Don’t seek revenge on a bully by becoming a bully yourself. Again, it will only make the problem worse and could result in serious legal consequences for you. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online.

• Save the evidence of the cyberbullying.  Keep abusive text messages or a screenshot of webpages where the messages were posted.  

• Use the evidence to report the bully's activities.   Notify the person's Internet service provider or any social media or other websites the bully is using to target you (e.g., FaceBook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Reddit). The cyberbully’s actions may constitute a violation of the website’s terms of service or, depending on the laws in your area, may even warrant criminal charges. If you don’t report incidents, the cyberbully may often become more aggressive.  It also can help others who also may be experiencing bullying from the person.

• Report threats of harm and inappropriate sexual messages or pictures to the police. In many cases, the cyberbully’s actions can be prosecuted by law.

• Prevent communication from the cyberbully.  Block their email address, cell phone number, and delete them from your social media contacts. 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/bullying-and-cyberbullying.htm 

It may not always seem like it, but there are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.  Connect with those people.

• Unplug from technology. Taking a break from your smartphone, computer, tablet, and video games can open you up to meeting new people.

• Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music. Or volunteer your time—helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself and expand your social network.

• Share your feelings about bullying. Talk to a significant other, counselor, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference in the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.

• Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to boost your self-esteem and reduce stress. Go for a run or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger in a healthy way.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/bullying-and-cyberbullying.htm 

If you are thinking of suicide or are in physical danger, 

immediately contact 911 or a help hotline 

Call or text 988