بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين ، وبعد
Important narrations and notes on the topic of rights of Parents in Islam
Taken from the book: Kindness to Parents - https://salafibookstore.com/product/kindness-to-parents/
“...say not to them uff…” (pg. 12)
۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا Surah Israh - 17:23
For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully
Ibn Abbas commented: Uff is word that demonstrates dislike (to do something the parents asked or disliking an odor that comes from any of them and so forth), while Maqatil said that this ayah pertains to disrespectful rude words
Mujahid also commented: If the parents grow old and end up urinating and answering the call of nature on themselves, do not feel disgusted or say: uff to them. Rather, remove the urine and faeces from them, just as they used to do when you were young without feeling disgust in doing that for you
Owais Al Qarani رحمه الله (pg. 16)
The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said - “... he has a mother to whom he is kind. If he swears that Allah should do something, Allah will fulfil his vow for him. Therefore if you could ask him to invoke Allah to forgive you, then do so.”
Side Note: Owais was a righteous Taabiee based in Yemen, at the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم . He couldn;t meet the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم due to his preoccupation of serving his sick mother (thereby giving him such a high status)
Three Ayahs tied to three things (pg.21)
Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه said: “There are three Ayat that are tied to three things and they are inseparable”
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ
Surah Luqman 31:14
And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.
And then he commented:
Whoever thanked Allah but did not appreciate his parents then his thanking Allah would not be accepted from him. This is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: The lord pleasure is connected to parents pleasure, and the lord's anger is connected to parents anger
Aisha رضی اللہ عنھا and the women with 2 daughters (pg.24)
Aisha رضی اللہ عنھا said: “ A woman came to me with her two daughters to ask me for help, but I only had one date which I gave her. She took the date, divided it into two halves between her daughters, but she did not eat any part of it, then went out with them. When the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم came, I told him the story of this woman and he said- whoever was tested with having daughters and treated them kindly, then they will be a shield for him from the Fire (Bukhari and Muslim)
Righteous Parents & impact over generations (pg.30)
Also when the parents are righteous, the benefit of their righteousness will reach their children, as demonstrated by Allah statement - Surah Kahf 18:82
وَأَمَّا ٱلْجِدَارُ فَكَانَ لِغُلَـٰمَيْنِ يَتِيمَيْنِ فِى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ وَكَانَ تَحْتَهُۥ كَنزٌۭ لَّهُمَا وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَـٰلِحًۭا
And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and under the wall was a treasure that belonged to them, and their father had been a righteous man
It was said that the father mentioned in the Ayah was their 7th or 10th grandfather
Children behaviour in front of Parents (pg.38)
Farqad advised that Children, no matter how old they get, should not look their parents straight in the eye, walk in front of them, speak first when they are present, or walk to the right or left of them, unless they make such a request. Rather children should walk behind their parents, just as a servant would do with his master.
Taking care of old mother who is unable to answer call of nature by herself (pg.62)
Zurah bin Ibrahim said that a man came to Umar and said to him “I have an old mother who is unable to answer the call of nature, so I carry her on my back. I also help her perform ablution while turning my face away from her (out of respect). I fulfilled my duties towards her?. Umar said “No”. The man said “Even though I carry her on my back and exert myself in her service?” Umar said “She used to do the same for you (when you were young) while hoping that you will live, as for you, you await when she will go away (die)
Story of a man who carried his mother on his back to Hajj (pg. 71)
Author of book - I was told that a man used to be very poor and could not marry until he became 32 years old, even though he wanted to marry, because of extreme poverty. He was very dutiful to his mother and once carried her to Hajj on his back from Najd, in middle Arabia. Allah later gave this man tremendous wealth and riches and he became known among people for his being wealthy and dutiful to his mother
Befriending one who commits uquq towards parents (pg. 76)
A wise man once said: “Do not befriend whoever commits Uquq, for he will never be faithful to your relation while he has committed uquq towards those who have more right on him than you have