WARNING: Adult and less than happy subject matter.  Adult subject matter and that is just the violence and sex. Not in order or organized yes. (And yes some disturb me on how sick humans can be? Tempted to put some at the bottom?)Some was done when I was in a not happy place, exploring some feelings and seeing if I had fallen, but ... Some, was about others I had known, talked to and I hope helped?PRINTED OUT:__________04/01/2024
INDEX:LaborerLady ChocolateLady LoveLady of LightLady OlumidaLanternLauraLeft RightLife (Life is a Pain at Times/Life and Pain)Liz (Complete)?Long Distance LoveLongingLoss and Depression (?)Lost LifeLost Lover (work in progress?)Lost SunshineLove MeLovely Ladies Gifts (?)Lovers (Unfinished)Loves PainLustLycaineLongingLost SelfLinsee------P-LaborerLaborer strong and dumb or just luck gone wrongfeeding self and family, or just lost in timeschool costs money and work is long and tiringMan caught up in day to day, hour to hourlost in work and sleep, with little elsefor all is work, hard and back breakinglong days, of toil, and troubles,afraid one day the back will go and then whatWho will hire him, who will feed him,who will take care of family when allis said and done, who will be there?Mike Adams2006------------------P-Lady Chocolate (edited 2009)Hello my dear roseof delicious chocolate,how can a knight serve you?But to shove a swordthrough my heart? Nay dear,for to shove one would kissyou and that would be tragedymost heinous, for I love youmore than any being of mortallife.Ah my dearest lady,to look into the poolsof your eyes and knowthat it is not your thighsI want but our loveand soul, to shareand join with forevermore.Yes, my dear youare a hottie, andgot a body that neverends my lust, butI love you morefor the way you thinkand your depth of soul.Mike Adams2006------P-Lady LoveNite my sweet ladyof the nite, andarctic snows,how can I love ye,in ways unknown,and known, thrupaths unsown,mountains to beclimbed, andforest paths unwalkeduntil on a mountainof love and delight,minds and bodiesmeet together foreternity and a day,joined as one,eternal.Mike Adams05/26/04----------P-Lady of Light:Her eyes do warmthe soul, to bringlight to this darkness,to break the shacklesof depression andanger, her eyesto pierce the gloom,and break the chainsthat bind his soulto to the darkness..She walks in grace,down the stairs ofhis prison, to find him,to cast away the darknessand the shadows, all fallbefore her love and beauty,not dying but reborn in joyand happiness.. She sees him,alone in his cell, dirtyand disgusting in his filthand degradation, but she hasbut to touch him and it allfalls away like a dream oncehad, but forgotten in the daysbefore birth..He stands up, his shacklesfall away as he reaches to herand holds her close. Two soulsjoined as one, together forever,and no gloom can harm themin their love and desires,for it is born of love sharedtogether, neither one abovethe other, shared loves,passions, desires, hopesand dreams.. togetherfor an eternity and a day,never apart even when nottogether.. Bliss foundand never lost.. For evenpast deaths door they gotogether, forever and more.. Mike Adams2005---------P-Lady Olumide: Lady hot, of body and of smile,hair dark and skin mysterious..oh she stands there, and I noticebut she is there, for entrancedam I, by her smile, how it beamsand affects all.. Mike Adams2005----------------P-LanternA Lantern burning bright take the anger from my sightremove this man who beats me so and make him pay for all to knowThat I am dead and all shall know that he took me and destroyed meslowly with word and threats of hands and fist and just controlwith money, and emotions foul and conivingA lantern was held up in loving hands of family and friendsbut how to go to it or even leave the darkness behind, to stay andbe controlled and beaten but its all I know? He loves me, justdoes not know how to show it, or some crap like that or is itjust a little girl, in the dark, alone and no help to guide herThere must be more a safe place to be to find anotherbetter for you someone to not hit you abuse you, and use youto not be controlled and beaten even if beaten in mind and soul.Held down and kept down controlled by words and thoughts andarms strong or just kept like an animal not loved but usedabused most foul. A spirit dead from years of mental anguishor just not loved or not pretty enough or of drugs, and alcoholsome inside and some outside Lack of respect for selflack of joy in ones blessing to leave the darknessand take a small step but that step is agony for will he find mehurt me, beat me, abuse me tease me, let me go and findme and bring me back like some animal or worse, I go back to himfor he is all I know, all I have known, and I fear all I will know.But there is more, or is this just a dream, a dream that is fadingby the hours and days.. I am trapped but held here notby force, but by my own fear? Or just insecure of my blessingand beauty and knowing I am worth more than this crap.I am not a trouphy my children are not to be harmed but they arehurt by mommys beatings. Why do I go back but how to leave, no moneyno place to go, he will hunt me down and bring me back with friendsthat will help him and I have none? Where shall I go, who will I be withwhere will my children go and be safe God he has a knife and I haveto run but where?To the lantern held high and bright by loving and knowing handswho take you in and hold the darkness at bay, and help you healwounds deep and numbing but always there.Mike Adams2006Still working on it.-----------------P-LauraSo damn close,but so damn far...groan.. the agony..So close to paradise I do so sit herelooking but can notsee the paradise of thee..how much I wish tofall for you, and knowthey inner thoughtsand thighs, but realityintrudes and holds meback, for friendshipand love hold me fast..fast here in this chair,maneuvering my selfto hold me back, andnot feel the lust I feelfor you, lust that shallbe denied and heldfast behind strongdoors of respect andlove.. ah lovely, thou dosit there, holding mefast with your smilesand graces, teasingmy senses with yourface and dances..Sorry, lusting for you,so please forgive if soinspired.. you are quitenice and looking goodas well.. pray me dearlady, you do not love mein return, for it is a sadlove to be shared, anddanger intrudes, andmadness ensues..Mike Adams2003Not sure if Poetry or just ramblings?(some editing 2009)-------P-Left RightJesus to the right off me,pothead to the left, hereI am drunk in the middle with you.Mike Adams2005---------P-Let it GO 2016Let it go is all I can sayas I think of the pastand what was thereto let it go and livein the now and notlet the past hold me backand control meand leave me there.So let it go andbe a person of the nowand even the futureand not be held backby chains of pain,anger, frustrationand family and deedsundone or never helped.So if you hearme say LET IT GOnow you know,I am letting it goand not holding mefast to the past.To find my happy placeand think happy thoughtsand positive thingsand not other thingsand I can let the past go.Mike2016---------P-Life (P-Life is a pain at time/P-Life and Pain)Life is a pain at time.Life is a bitch as well.Life can be hell.But life can be good.Gods a lesbian,cause life is a bitch.Mike Adams20??---------P-LinseeTo see your faceand smileyour eyes brightand greenand I felt joyI see you andwant you toknow your smileand feelsmell and tasteand touch everyday until thereis nothing leftbut worlds cinderand suns burned outand your smilere-lights themanew and all is well.Mike Adams2011(not sure for who, it came and went like snow on a hot night) Bartender I think, hope not the other.---------P-Liz CompleteShort and petite, and oh so damn sweat.Short, sexy, smiles like passions explodingand desired in eyes mischief.Body fine and dandy, oh I wish she was handy,to love long and slow, or fast and passionatejust being here, close, to know intimatelyto feel her hands, to know her smaile, taste of lipsand body warm. and share in the exploration ofdesires shared and even unkknown, to learnwhat each needs and wants and do it, explore itand expand into each other and know each partintimate..To feel here riding me, like a wild filly,her nipples so damn close to be tasted likeripe fruits but her breasts riding up and downin time to out passions shared, ride the ponyGOD ride they pony. To feel her pussy tightenaround my hard cock, to feel her suck the lifeout of it, ah yes I quiver.. Damn, your goodyou naughty little vixen you, I exclaimwith moaning breath. Ah yes.. to feel her bodyquiver, with passions expressed.But to love and pleasure her, to know her wants,desires and needs and bring them forth,satisfy them wach in turn, to bring her topassions peak and beyong and expand eachin the sharing.To stare into your eyes, to smell your scent to feelthe heat build as our hands move to each other, to claspand begin to move to the music, to find the music movingus closer, and closer until we are one body on the dancefloor. Moving as one, until ...can you feel my hands on your firm ass, touching, squeezing,careesing it to the time of the music, my breath on our shoulder,my lips teasing, almost touching.To guide you with the stiffness in my groin, rubbing shifting for you..Moving across the floor as one, up and down, no one knowingwhat we are doing and how it feels.. Teasing your right palm..Feeling your nipples against my chest.. Wanting so much to justfuck it, get naked and not caring who sees or what happens,just to go for it, to strip cloths off as we move and you jumpin my lap, to land just so..with wild abandonment, to slide down the willing shaft, desiringyour warmth and moist garden of love and lust.. Hair cascadingdown you back, and you scream and I moan, YES.Coming together as one.. But reality is here.. We know whatwe want, but ...Oh yes. I moan, I so love your mouth, your tongue playing itlike a harp of heaven, but wanting more and more until...Damn, you love front, top? I love the image of you on top,sliding your loving moist pussy over my shaft, guiding it in,and your lovely nipples and breasts firm, for my view andteasing pleasure. To tinkle and pinch them. Moving my thumband fingers, in a slight and gentle movement, like uncorkingyour passions.Mike Adams2008/2009-------P-LONG DISTANCE LOVE:To cute the man says, the women replies,yes, but you love me anyways, yes and more,but how to keep my self off the floor fromloving you, for you are there, and I amhere, and the floor is closer, than the door,how to love another so far away, to kiss and hug,to touch and tease, to know her as a womenand as a friend, with out the knowing the eyes,the soul, the joy of her sighs, the look of herhair, the knowing she is there and he is here,to bodies, two souls apart but connected by wiresand glass, distances far but love shared.Mike Adams2005Work in progress--------P-LongingThe pain of loving onewho can not be yoursand she will never knowfor she is blind to yourlove and caring for herin ways she may neverunderstand or be able tosee, she screams for anice guy, who wants herfor more just her bodybut she keeps, chasing anddrinking, or just not seeingher love and desiresor so she says, are herenext to her and she will notsee and so it is the dichotomythe irony of things inlove is close by but alsofar away, never to be shared.Explored or even expressedfor we are all blind to itand those who love usuntil it comes up, oftenat the worst time, or toolate. But such is lifeor fate or just timing?How to tell, show themyour love, and pain fortheir pains and agonies.Why, he or she is notgood for you, but youstand by and hope,and pray they will behappy, if with youso much the better, buthappy with who or whatthey are with, be happynot sad or worse in grievouspain and agony, fromanother bad time..Seeing them crashonce again, wanting toreach over and holdthem close, and showyour love, affectionand respect and longingfor them, but in thisthe pain, to wish thempain free, ....Please oh pleasenot another assholeor bitch or abusiveboy friend or girlfriendplease stop, it hurts tosee you in such painbut you do it once againand my heart breakseach time, and I wantto just hold you closeand protect you fromthe darkness, and knowyour safe, loved, andprotected!! But such isfree will, its not alwaysfor the best for you,and one has to learnwhat is best for oneself,but friends and thosewho love them, can help,guide, share, or even screamwhat the hell, we love you,we beg you please stop hurtingyourself and us who love you.But so I sit here, watchingseeing, knowing and hoping.I would tell you of my love,or show it, or just reach overand give you a gentle touch,to let you know we care!And please do not hurtfor we hurt with you.Find better, we prayeven if not me, just behappier and safe.For we are you, and youare us, and we are of one flesh,soul and spirit, togetheras friends, forever!(Still writing..)Mike Adams2011(still working on, its a long story and not sure how to express it fully)--------P-Depression of Loss (Loss of Depression)Depression is here,sinking in fast and hardfor the sun has left the skyand shall I die now,or just wander herein this place of darknesscold and damp,like a man on thorozine..Mike Adams200?--------P-Lost LifeI sit here with my head in handwondering where my life has gonewhat things of glory have I donewhat deeds of might and honorbut all I do is sit here in the darkand lament the wasted yearsof depression and of darknessdarkness that I can not let gofor it is all I know.Even when the light comes inI block it out, hide it awayfrom my eyes, for the darknessis my only comfort.The light does not feel rightjoy escapes of my own twisted choice.Why can I not accept the joyand light and live a happy lifewhy must I torment my self sofor when things are bad, I am comfortand when they are good, I feel uneasyuneasy that it will be taken awaycruely, like so many things in lifeby a parent, a bully or just godI know not, just that this hasto end, this life of darknessof lost love and promises unmadeborn was I to do great thingsbut I have squadered them awaylike so much sand, thru fingersthat can not hold my head upinto the light, for the lightcomes so quick, and then it issnatched away, so I deny itbefore it can be stolen awayis my claim. I know not,just that help is not here,but depression is so closebut held at bay for nowso in the end, what can I sayit is better than I was oncefor I am active in findingwork, to replace the one Iso rudely lost of my ownstupidity and nature givenaway.Mike Adams2004God I hope this year gets better, cause it is getting worse all the time.-------P-Lost Lover (?)---------P-Lost SunshineHere I sit, my head in my hands,wondering how the day has gone away,how I lost her, and never noticed tilnow that she was gone, my sunshine,my life my dreams is gone, and I knownot when she was gone, just that she is gone..Oh to scream, would it do well to scream,or just stand here bleeding of woundsinflicted, self or others, need it notmatter? For I die slow and lonely, withblood seeping out from wounds a plenty,so should I scream, or just die..Mike Adams2005-----------------P-Denied Love (Love Denied):Time is fleeting, ever passing into the day ago.Why do we hope for more than this I will never know.Thou I do hope for more than this, for all I have ishopes and a dream for more. than this mortal frame canhave, but in hope I find a purpose a direction, andmy dreams a reason to go on, day and day, hour and hour,and on until one day my feet can move no more, fallingone in front of the other, and lay down and rest myhead on the gentle hills of home and dream of you mylady love once more.But until that time is here, I can not think of you forthe pain it brings to me, I can not think of your sweetcaress, the smell of your hair, and the feel of your bodynext to mine, for the pain it brings, and to you as well.I can not face you, face to face, eye to eye, for my heartwill flutter and fly into worlds of fantasy and illusionbeyond all reality and hope for peace, for all I want todo is to behold you once again, but in this I have pledgedto never see you again, to talk to you, to know of what youdo, and why, so in my honor and my word I deny you totally,no matter the pain and anguish, the loss and ending,to try to extinguish the feelings you have enflamed in me,but to no avail, so I deny you totally and blank you from mytotally from my mind . For denying you for now is the only answer Iknow, and in this I write these words to work it out andlet others know of loss of love and to hope for a betterday when I can behold you in all your loveliness and seethe light in your eyes once again, and hope it is for meyou see, and for me you do shine with such a light thatthe stars and sun are no match, but alas that day willnever come but in my mind and illusions. So this I prayfor all my days to just let it be, and forget you for nowand pray for another day.Love MikeMike AdamsMay 1998---------P-Lovely Ladies Gifts:A muse in form to my mind, and hormones raging,at the sight of profiles pic,which is revealing but teasing to the sightand senses and brings about a joyful pleasureto my mind and soul at the viewing..Ah yes, makes me want to suck on something..or exploring with hands and hips other places..to share a movement of hips shared.and hands touching, and moving..kisses and lips tasting each others flesh, and teasing..tongue teasing nipplies hard and brown, tasting and teasing,holding with lips soft and gentle, in and out..cloths moves just such, removed fast and furious,or by hands exploring or ripping..falling to a heap on the floor, bodies soon after..warmth shared as sweat comes and mingles, smells waffling..and passions shared.. ah yes, it is free, now I am the keyand where is the gate? ah yes, the hgardens gate, behind aforest light and blonde, with gates parted gentle with hands,and yes the key hole is shown.. and teases, slow or fast?vibrated or teased by lips and tongue? until after time eternal,we fall, to bed and sleep slow and gentle,carressing gentle and slow, as we drift off to sleep..Mike Adams09/06/04---------P-Love Lust (Unfinished?)front as in how lovely you are in total, the whole you..A face is just a face, but it is just one part of a whole being,the site of a face leads to the front and down, and then around,then to touches and tastes and smells of delight..Not only of neck, but hair, of lips, of common things,and often sounds of passions shared, and timesspent sleeping together in a bed together and seeingthe mundane things of life.. Like a snore, a breath and more..but yes, also the mature things. but ..Mike Adams11/27/03P-Love Lust (Unfinished?)Front as in how lovely you arein total, the whole you..A face is just a face,but it is just one partof a whole being,the site of a face leadsto the front and down,and then around,then to touches and tastesand smells of delight..Not only of neck, but hair,of lips, of common things,and often sounds of passionsshared, and times spentsleeping together in a bedtogether and seeingthe mundane things of life..A snore, a breath and more..but yes, also the maturethings. but ..Mike2003----------P-Love Melove me, leave me, want me, hunt me,never let me go.Find me, hunt me,run or hug me close,never let me go..Mike Adams2003Rewrote 12/07/03---------P-Lovers ?--------P-Loves PainIn sadness and despairI do rise up from hells depthto shine in skys brightwith hells fires lightto shed the anger and despairand stand in the open air.To throw off the chainsof death and painto give my all to God,Lord and master of allI do cry to the heavensto release me from thismortal bonds and letmy soul shine highinto the skyand bless all withthe lights of my eyesenflamed by the painand agony and sins pastleft behind the veilof love and peace,of faith and love,trust and joinand find blisswith my lover true.Mike Adams2003--------P-LUSTHow can I compare my love to a single day,for an eternity of delight she does present me,her laugh, her sighs, the touch of her thighs,as I tease her gently with my love,exploring the recesses of her garden of delight,her eyes that flash as we come together as one,thrust for thrust, scratch for scratch, moan for moan,until with passions shared, we fall together in moanful bliss,exploding as one being, entwined in lips and bodies combined..Or, her hair like darkness falling to shoulders bare, and white.Like rivers of ebony, on to my sight, I do behold her eyes,ah the pain of knowing she is there, but so far away. A kiss,a whisper, a memory buried deep and dark I do hide awayof the times together, locked as lovers. To kiss her lips onceagain, her neck, and cheeks.. her nose quite fair.To tease her with my careesses and shared in twined,hips in motion slow and deliberately, cloths aschew acrossthe room, from door to bedroom dark, we did ride until wefind peace in side each others hearts, minds arms and soul.and blissfully asleep in each others arms, to greet the dayand know the night was paradise unbound.to sadly part to our parts in the play of life..Mike Adams2003--------P-LycaineNov 2008I live alone, hunt alone,be alone like a wolf am I,but human too. Such isthe quandry of my kinand kindred, we live alone,but need each other to survive,to go on and live and not dieby the hands of our enemies.Of which there is many,but all alone..Mike Adams2005-------P-LongingThe pain of loving onewho can not be yoursand she will never knowfor she is blind to yourlove and caring for herin ways she may neverunderstand or be able tosee, she screams for anice guy, who wants herfor more just her bodybut she keeps, chasing anddrinking, or just not seeingher love and desiresor so she says, are herenext to her and she will notsee and so it is the dictotomythe irony of things inlove is close by but alsofar away, never to be shared.Explored or even expressedfor we are all blind to itand those who love usuntil it comes up, oftenat the worst time, or toolate. But such is lifeor fate or just timing?How to tell, show themyour love, and pain fortheir pains and agonies.Why, he or she is notgood for you, but youstand by and hope,and pray they will behappy, if with youso much the better, buthappy with who or whatthey are with, be happynot sad or worse in grievouspain and agony, fromanother bad time..Seeing them crashonce again, wanting toreach over and holdthem close, and showyour love, affectionand respect and longingfor them, but in thisthe pain, to wish thempain free, ....Please oh pleasenot another assholeor bitch or abusiveboy friend or girlfriendplease stop, it hurts tosee you in such painbut you do it once againand my heart breakseach time, and I wantto just hold you closeand protect you fromthe darkness, and knowyour safe, loved, andprotected!! But such isfree will, its not alwaysfor the best for you,and one has to learnwhat is best for oneself,but friends and thosewho love them, can help,guide, share, or even screamwhat the hell, we love you,we beg you please stop hurtingyourself and us who love you.But so I sit here, watchingseeing, knowing and hoping.I would tell you of my love,or show it, or just reach overand give you a gentle touch,to let you know we care!And please do not hurtfor we hurt with you.Find better, we prayeven if not me, just behappier and safe.For we are you, and youare us, and we are of one flesh,soul and spirit, togetheras friends, forever!(Still writing..)Mike Adams2011(still working on, its a long story and not sure how to express it fully)-----P-Lost SelfWho am Ior was II a knowI am lovedbut not surewhy for Ihave forgottenwho this personis beside me,they love meI know butwhy, I haveforgotten forit is justfiltered andgrey and memoriesthat seem distantand many lostin the abyss thatis now my pastshe sitsnext to meand shows me lovebut I feel somethingbut forget whywho and what it wasfor all is slowlysliding away andI feel hurtsad and toplease let me gofor I am gone andit hurts to seethe pain in your eyesand the fear I feelin where I amor was or goingor why you stillhold me closebut I have forgottenwho you are, or wasbut only know whatyou say you are, wife,mother, brother,husband and childrenbut are you surefor I know you not,but know I shouldknow you and I feelfor you and dimmemories of you orlost and dying slowlyThank you, I thinkbut for whatnot sure why butI feel the lovefor your staying onfor when I rememberI know you and am lucidbut its fading moreand more and damnI have pissedI think it is whatit is, or druelor just sorryI can not speakor even hold wordsin my mind forwhat.. lost itfocus gone..Night I knowlet me go, butyou refuse butwhy, who was Iwhat was I and ...Mike Adams2011For Rayenette but for all who have lost a family member/friend,slowly thru the slide into dementia, and especially those who stayand take care of them, even if the end will likely be a slow/fastdecent into them not knowing who and why you are taking care of themand they the spirit that they was, dying, the body left behindbut a husk, with no life.----------------P-Lost SunshineHere I sit,my head in my hands,wondering how the dayhas gone away,how I lost her,and never noticedtil now that she was gone,my sunshine,my life my dreams is gone,and I knownot when she was gone, just that she is gone..Oh to scream, would it do well to scream,or just stand here bleeding of woundsinflicted, self or others, need it notmatter? For I die slow and lonely, withblood seeping out from wounds a plenty,so should I scream, or just die..Mike2005----------------P-Linsee
To see your faceand smileyour eyes brightand greenand I felt joy
I see you andwant you toknow your smileand feelsmell and tasteand touch everyday until thereis nothing leftbut worlds cinderand suns burned out
and your smilere-lights themanew and all is well.
Mike Adams2011(not sure for who, it came and went like snow on a hot night)----------------Copyright 1998Mike Adams