WARNING: Adult and less than happy subject matter. Adult subject matter and that is just the violence and sex. Not in order or organized yes. (And yes some disturb me on how sick humans can be? Tempted to put some at the bottom?)Some was done when I was in a not happy place, exploring some feelings and seeing if I had fallen, but ... Some, was about others I had known, talked to and I hope helped?PRINTED OUT:__________INDEX:DADDY (not sure)Daddy Why 2010Daggers and Pens (yes or no, its on the HD some place, but part of Daggers and Rendering?)Daggers and Rendering 2010Days of Slaughter 2010DC BitchDead by DrunkDead Dreams 2010Dead Eyes 2010Dear Husband 2010Dearest Christ 2010Dearest Everett 2010Dearest Kate 2010Dearest LadyDeath and Dying 2010Defining Friends 2016Demon of the Dark 2010Demon of the Dark D20Denied Love 2010Denial (My)Depression 2010Depression of LossDer GralDestructive Love 2010DominatedDoorman to Hell 2010Drama (of) (see under Of Drama)Dream DeadDreams Not ForgottenDrunk------P-DaddyWhat did you need me for?Like Ken a doll, to be hide awayuntil needed? To only be wantedto be shown to friends, To be seen,and known, yes I have a son, now sonGet back in the closet until I needyou again. Frozen, long hours onlakes watching You drive your damncar, around and around While I froze,was hungry and thirstyAnd just plain lonely.Mike Adams2007?----P-DADDY WHYDaddy, why you abuse meWhy you share me with your friendsdoing things I know mommie wouldnot do for you.Doing things sexual that is wrongbut you force me to do it all.But when all is done, you beat meabuse me, and share me in ways sickand twisted and with one swing you endit all, with your bat, to keep me quiet.I scream NO, but to no avail nowI am back to find revenge and bringyou sick fuck down and make you payfor what you did to me to brotherand others in your need for controlor just to feel good for being in power,but in the end you was weak and sick.So here you go, take it up the assin some prison and know how itfeels to be used, abused and takenaway, and have no control andtrust abused.You took my trust, my life, myfuture all for your twisted needs.So enjoy, as I get the last laughas I grin and watch. Love turnedto hate and hate turned on you.Mike Adams2006For Shannon/Chris and many moreAlternate:P-DADDY WHYDaddy, why you abuse meWhy you share me with your friendsdoing things I know mommie wouldnot do for you.Doing things sexual that is wrongbut you force me to do it all.But when all is done, you beat meabuse me, and share me in ways sickand twisted and with one swing you endit all, with your bat, to keep me quiet.I scream NO, but to no avail nowI am back to find revenge and bringyou sick fuck down and make you payfor what you did to me to brotherand others in your need for controlor just to feel good for being in power,but in the end you was weak and sick.So here you go, take it up the assin some prison and know how itfeels to be used, abused and takenaway, and have no control andtrust abused.You took my trust, my life, myfuture all for your twisted needs.So enjoy, as I get the last laughas I grin and watch. Love turnedto hate and hate turned on you.Mike Adams2006(wrote the above for a gal or two I met talked to online who had like things supposedly done to them).------P-Daggers and RenderingsThe agony, my heart,be still my beatingbleeding heart, for thedagger she rams homeis one of pain,and agony most dear,with death the result..The pain, oh the pain..Drive it home,oh sweat daggerof agony sharpand pain divine..Render my heart,with your pens aflame,showing its true measureand fame, love itor leave it,but never forget it,for in the picture,much is said of my heart..In the renderingis the finding,to vision of my soul,laid bare for youto see, or othersin eternity.Mike Adams2004-------P-Days of SlaughterOn the <day> day of slaughter, my lover brought to me:Five Golden ChestFour Flayed OrcsThree Dead HumansTwo Emaciated DwarvesAnd a Dead Elf Hanging From a Tree.Mike Adams1980sSung to the tune of Days of ChristmassSlashing thru the foe, killing all the way, over bodies we go, laughing all the way,blades on chariot wheels, bowmen in the cart, oh what fun it is to sing a Slaying songtonight.Jingle Balls, I am in HellOne man genocidal machine------P-DC BitchOnce was a bitch from DC,who had to help her man Pee,she took it in hand and gave ita whack and got the rest of himkneeling..Mike Adams2006(Hillary?)------P-Dead by DrunkA ManA womena childA futurebut whose?Theirsor others?Who can tellfor gonethey aredead by drunkenmeans drivingMike Adams2006-------P-Dead Dreams (Dreams not forgotten)Step by stepanother deathnot of life, butdreams, gonebut not forgottenMike Adams2005-------P-Dead EyesEyes stare backthey are deadand black, no lifethere, but memoriesMemories ofthe time I sawthem last.And what wewas to doand saidand dreamed.They did it tothemselves, butwhat of usthe survivors?Those who livepast the momentof their deathBe it accidentor stupidityor suicideThose eyes stareback and Iforget alland nothing.So I cryand otheras well formemories gonebut rememberedbut not up frontbut behindthe maskwe put uphope it willstay therebut ourmakeup runsand the paincomes through.Dinner anyone?Mike Adams2006Weird how the death of someone, will haunt you for years. For Eugene Dalilak, Everett Dick, Bon Tate, Karen, Karl and others I still find hard to remember, or name, or even remember their names, but one day the pain will back to the game, and we can deal with things.-------P-Dear HusbandDear Husband,here I am in another bed,looking for a lover, a strange,a friend, carrying not for our bondsof marriage, for you have left themfar behind.Sleeping on me with others, friendsand more, cheating in mind, soul andemotions, all I have to go onis that vision of you and anotherto spur me on to jump to another.Mike Adams2005Edit 2005-----P-Dearest ChristPlease forgive themfor who they areFor they are whatthey hate the most.they ask for love,and accept hate instead.These beings call humanbut far from humaine.They blame Godfor being crueland angry but theyoften do it tothemselves.Hurt, pain, manipulate,and drama. Pleaseforgive them for justbeing,human.Mike Adams2006-----Below not a poem just a letter to a by then dead friend-------02-10-93Dearest Everett:I ask why, and recieve no reply from him for he is dead andbeyond my questions! So I live on.. Why you who had some muchto live for have decided to end it all with such a permanent solution.You more perfectly formed, better looking, better with the ladies,more open, better dancer, better hunter, better worker, betterdressed, and better man than I, would end it so soon..You in the spring of your life and I in my autumn.I think of you in some of the things we did together. When Iwench, drink, dance and laugh I will think of you. When Imarch, shoot, work and fly I will think of you, when I ride ina SUSV or go to Stewart River I will think of you..When I eat native food, muktuk/walrus liver and fish stripsI will think of you. When I talk of suicide with others I willthink of you. When I think of your brother Karl and how he is Iwill think of you, for why did you leave us so soon, leave us insuch pain, rip a part of our hearts out like a bear ripping thru flesh..Why did you leave us behind, to suffer at the loss. Were you soselfish? I know we talked about things, of life and death, but I had hopedit was passing, obviously not. I am stronger for knowing you and loosing you,the hardest part about knowing someone is say good bye! I do not wish to saygood bye, but you have not given me a choice. I know you can't hear menow, but I have to ask, what others have asked is why!!!Some might say why do you hate us so, to leave us with out you,but I don't think it was hate, you just did not think, you letNome get to you, the cold long nights, weather, and work get to you.I know you were trying to quite a bad habit or two..I know you were far from home, alone in many ways, not quitesure who you were, of where you were coming from.Caught between old and new, tradition and the modern.Of both Yupik and Inupiaq parentage but modern of up bringing.Part of multiple worlds, but maybe not quite comfortable ineither.I am sorry I was such a slob when we lived together, I'm sorryfor making jokes about your last name, but now that you are gone"I am dick less".I know to not think of the "what ifs" but of the actual, thenow, and the future. The future without you is just a bit morebarren, a bit more lost with out you, so I march on without you,you have fallen behind, but I will keep marching on to prove toyou and myself that I will not give up, I will not let things getme down, and that I will not do what you have done, for I do notwish to hurt anyone, as much as you have done to us, your family andfriends.I say in passing, to all who think that life is not worth it,that there is no hope, that death is an answer. I say no bloodyway, with life is hope, suicide is not the answer. It is apermanent solution to a temporary problem.. If you need help thereare many who can and will help, don't be to proud to ask for help.For in pride there is folly. If first you do not find help, try again!!I say good bye now Everett P. Dick, rest in peace for I shallnot..EVERETT P. DICK'S FRIENDS FOREVER...Mike1993----------P-Dearest Kate:Dearest Kate, I lay here next to you, and feel the drawto love you as a man loves his love, and lady for ever more,but in this respect you and your love to hold back and respect,to know you slow, friend first, then more, until in the endI pray, we shall be long term, lovers, family, friends, motherand father, lasting an age together as couple strong, partnersfor ever more.Mike Adams2004Edited 2005"True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively."- Tenzin Gyatso-----P-Dearest Lady:Dearest lady, how to explain of love and desire,of love I know, or of the love of loving to chaseand have, to know the delights and desires undercloths and skin, of flesh and kisses long and intense,to know her intimately, of soul and dreams of pastsand cremes, of smell and joys many, how to explainto her my desires and wants, passions and needs,but first of hers, what is here wants, her needs, forwith out hers, it is just teasing myself, pleasing myself,having myself, enjoying myself, and I can do that alone.oh to hold her vision and eyes, to walk close, each stepan agony for my muscles say RUN, faster, grab and takeher now. but no, all in due time, slow mike, be slow, buthow I ask myself, when my heart races, my pulse isexploding one beat at another, like kettle drugs.. how I wishto kiss her, tease and please her, to feel the curves of herbody mold with mine, to know the warmth of her body, tosmell the scents of her scent, but most to just hold herclose, and know her close.. to look in eyes of love andknow, she loves me, and I love her back, all else isjust illusions..Mike Adams2005-----P-Death and DyingDying yes, dead not yetfor with out life,then you have deathor without hopethere is deathgiving up before themark of death arrivesto soon to give upto be given to the pileor corpses piling highbefore hells doorgiven up to the diseasecalled dying, or canceror some other malodythat saps our strengthsand pulls us downdown to the ground and inor to pyres high.glory, is just an excusefor dying better thanothers dead.Mike Adams2005-------P-Defining FriendsYou have friendsSome you carry,some your marry,some you tarry withand someyou just saygo away andnever tarryon my doorstepEver again.Mike2016-------P-Demon of the Dark (For someone D20 Game)A sea, a sea, oh blasted is the sea,Dangers evil and untold, awaits youin the rock of the moon and starsin the sea of blasted sun.Lost women of the nite,strikes her there, beneath the stary sky,of dark and nite, it rises into the skyEvil, is its name, and curse.Oh maiden, you are lost to usfor lusts drive us all, and yourdrove you more, moreon into the darkness I seeShe lies there across the sea,to see the eye, you must seek the eyefor all is there, death and darknessstone and unholy beasts.Who come from insideand out, from beyond and here.But riches vast and painful won.Sparkle is the stars, and all is nite.Beware the demon of the Dark!Mike Adams2005(if ya have to ask, you do not need to know about D20)-------P-Denial (My Denial)First I deny my lovethen my dreamsthen my hopethen myselfwhat will I have left?Nothing but my denialto keep me warm.Mike Adams1998--------P-Denied Love:Time is fleeting, ever passing into the day ago.Why do we hope for more than this I will never know.Thou I do hope for more than this, for all I have ishopes and a dream for more. than this mortal frame canhave, but in hope I find a purpose a direction, andmy dreams a reason to go on, day and day, hour and hour,and on until one day my feet can move no more, fallingone in front of the other, and lay down and rest myhead on the gentle hills of home and dream of you mylady love once more.But until that time is here, I can not think of you forthe pain it brings to me, I can not think of your sweetcaress, the smell of your hair, and the feel of your bodynext to mine, for the pain it brings, and to you as well.I can not face you, face to face, eye to eye, for my heartwill flutter and fly into worlds of fantasy and illusionbeyond all reality and hope for peace, for all I want todo is to behold you once again, but in this I have pledgedto never see you again, to talk to you, to know of what youdo, and why, so in my honor and my word I deny you totally,no matter the pain and anguish, the loss and ending,to try to extinguish the feelings you have enflamed in me,but to no avail, so I deny you totally and blank you from mytotally from my mind . For denying you for now is the only answer Iknow, and in this I write these words to work it out andlet others know of loss of love and to hope for a betterday when I can behold you in all your loveliness and seethe light in your eyes once again, and hope it is for meyou see, and for me you do shine with such a light thatthe stars and sun are no match, but alas that day willnever come but in my mind and illusions. So this I prayfor all my days to just let it be, and forget you for nowand pray for another day.Love MikeMike AdamsMay 1998--------P-Depression:Depression what is it,why does it hold me backlike a vice or chains strong.What can I do to removeit from my life and go onto bigger and betterto follow my dreams mosthigh on into the sky,but I sit here chainedto earth, like some stoneheld fast by miles of earthnever to see the skyand sun, but from glimpshesshort, only enough to knowI am down deep in mydepression, and not happywith where I am, butwith no way known torelived me of this burden.What cruel fate to be givena vision, but as well let itbe held in such a gripas mine.Oh to the sun I wish toclimb, up into the skylike a bird on wingbut this feeling ofearth keeps me fastI struggle and strainbut I still remaintied to earths coldgrasp, depressionis its name, but morethan that is all I knowis its effects on me andmy path, crooked andoften dead of end isthis path, for whenmy energy is onlyenough to fightthe depression there islittle left for others thingsthan it. But there issome light at the endof this tunnel deep anddark, what it is I shall seefor this thing is killing meslowly, inch by inch, milesby mile this depressionis slowly killing whatof me there is that wishsto go on to better things.Pray tell the light finds mebefore the darknesstotally engulfs me in itscold dark grasp, rendsmy soul from my bodyand casts me to the pileof its latest victim without a care of who I wasand what I could havebecome, just that I amdinner for it and mylife was a good fightbut in the end I washis and now my brokensoul lies here on thispile of broken dreamsof mine and others.I crave the light andthe promises madeof my abilities, butstill held fast in chainsmost strong and deadlyto this path I do plodalong, looking for thatexit that will either saveme or end my life andcast myself on to thatpile so high of brokendreams and lost souls.Mike Adams1998-----P-Depression of LossDepression is here,sinking in fast and hardfor the sun has left the skyand shall I die now,or just wander herein this place of darknesscold and damp,like a man on thorozine..Mike Adams2003-------P-Der Gral:Ich scheine ramble von Platz zu den Platz und nie bleibe ein in jedem möglichem einem Platz und überhaupt bis jetzt suche, wie ein Ritter auf Suche, nach diesem Gral OH- also liebes, also nahes aber OH-, fast im Anblick, aber nie sichtbar, gehe ich weiter und an, bis das Ende hier ist, und es zeichnet nahe, und ich kann die Anrufe des Engel Bonbons hören, und ich soll schließlich Getränk dieser Schale, also reich und selten hält ein Entwurf, den es, für in das Ende, die Schale ist, das Leben, und das Leben ist so süß, und dieses zu wissen, suche ich.Mike Adams1998?Translated by Babblefish-------P-Destructive LoveTie me down, beat me, whip me, love me, leave me, never let me go,or close again, I am lost in this sea of love and depression,for to have you is to destroy you, to have me is to be destroyedlike ice in summers hard sun..Mike Adams2003-----P-Dominated 2011(Poem or comment?)Ever wanted to dominate someone, and make them do anything you want, be your sex slave as you please/tease them as well?I so want to look down and see her mouth wrapped around my cock,her hands on my balls, as she looks up at me with lust in hereyes, wanting to please me, knowing she has control, but ...or to look down, and see your cock in her ass or pussy in doggystyle, and know she is yours!!Like to be taken like a wench? Dominated?Mike Adams200?Comment is likely.-----P-Doorman to HellWho gives a shit a man once saidto the doorman at the gates of hell,and doorman replied, go ask aliceshe gives a shit, for she is not here..Hell holds me down like mud and quicksand.Ties me down my Juliet in ribbon strongand tight, and in the delight, you bringby feathers strong and whips a plenty..whips not of leather, but of light,burning flesh, singing away inch by inch,mile by mile, until my soul is revealed..And laid bare to the light and seento be clean of hell, but not of heavenbut of limbo grey and white.Mike Adams2004-------P-Drama (Of Drama)Oh of drama much is said.Of life, and death, abuse and pain,theatre and attention she stands therehead in hand. I need attentions shescreams, so drama comes like a beaten dog.from far to near. Attend me now my lover,I am in need. SEE ME TOUCH ME she screams,beat me, hate me, but know thatI am here,for drama is my lover and ally and allshall fall before us...And it will make her day, even if allfalls apart around her, for it adds tothe power of the drama. She will have DRAMA.And this you will know to your regretoh man or women of soul and flesh.So man of flesh, you alone against this beast,and drama is its name. So now run fast andhard and never look back, for drama is onyour heels, snip snip snip it nips are yoursoul, slow and insidious or fast like flamesatomic, but the end is the same a burned outcorpse, with life sucked out and she moves onand cares not, for she feed her drama.He was an ass, she will say, but she knows inher heart of hearts she is death, she is pain,and she is DRAMA most of all.Drama, rotund and greasy, well fed by yearsof agony and pain, lost loves designed to fail,lost souls and hearts a broken many.She the "Victim" and she plays it well, but howmuch is she the predator and a beast of angerand hate, of theatre and attention most dark.Is she sick or a sickness? Few can say for shemoves on before found out, and fast she movesto the next victim of her lust, and like a vampirecold and dark, she slides in like a light, andseduces with words of whoa, I was beaten, andabused she says, but in truth, she abused andbeat him down, trapped him a web of law, morals,words whispered into ears late at nite, orbaby born for reasons of control, and lies wovenslow and strong. Like a spiders web, to be milkthe still living corpse until all life is gone,and she moves on like a rampent horde, to destroyanother. So what if he is married, happy. She willslide in, and take it all from him, and destroy allshe can, for it feeds the drama.Mike Adams07/12/2004Thank you Michelle and others."If I wanted your drama, I would ..... "Wow, I needed the above I think.-------P-Dream Dead A man, a womenA dream, a childborn of bothshared together. A dream or justfantasy illusion. Mike Adams2009-------P-DrunkI fearI drinkI hurtI drinkI beatI drinkI fallI drunkI pukeI drunkI fightI drunkI hurtI drunknow my kidsdrinkingI wonder why?I hitI drunkI killI drunkIn JailI soberWho diedI soberWhen diedI soberGod what did I do?I drunkbut sober now.Mike Adams2006(working on it)------Copyright 1998/2009 Mike Adams