POETRY FROM THE DARK SIDE
INTO THE LIGHT
Official 2023
(05/2017)
Embedded Files
Poetryfrom the Darksideinto the Light05/2017
PART 11- Depression2- Abandoned3- Alone4- Needy5- Outcast6- Suicide
PART 21- Shame2- Challenge Me3- Happiness4- I Will5- Survivors Guilt6- A Heros Dies Today
PART 31- Happy Place2- The Grail3- Hugs4- Let it Go5- Knightly6- Ride the Wind
Accept Me!
PART 1 - DARK
Depression:
Depression what is it,Why does it hold me backlike a vice or chains strong?What can I do to removeit from my life and go onto bigger and better?to follow my dreams mosthigh on into the sky,but I sit here chainedto earth, like some stoneheld fast by miles of earthnever to see the skyand sun, but from glimpsesshort, only enough to knowI am down deep in mydepression, and not happywith where I am, butwith no way known torelieve me of this burden.What cruel fate to be givena vision, but as well let itbe held in such a gripas mine?
Oh, to the sun I wish toclimb, up into the skylike a bird on wingbut this feeling ofearth keeps me fastI struggle and strainbut I still remaintied to Earth’s coldgrasp; depressionis its name, but morethan that I knowis its effects on me andmy path, crooked andoften dead end isthis path; for whenmy energy is onlyenough to fightthe depression there islittle left for other thingsthan that. But there issome light at the endof this tunnel; deep anddark, what it is I shall seefor this thing is killing meslowly, inch by inch, mileby mile-this depressionis slowly killing whatof me there is that wishesto go on to better things.Pray tell! The light finds mebefore the darknesstotally engulfs me in itscold dark grasp; rendsmy soul from my bodyand casts me to the pileof its latest victim with-out a care of who I wasand what I could havebecome; just that I amdinner for it and mylife was a good fight.But in the end I washis and now my brokensoul lies here on thispile of broken dreamsof mine and others.I crave the light andthe promises madeof my abilities, butstill held fast in chainsmost strong and deadlyto this path. I do plodalong, looking for thatexit that will either saveme or end my life andcast myself on to thatpile so high of brokendreams and lost souls.
Mike Adams1998--------------
Abandoned
Feeling abandoned,neglected, not wanted,no one has patienceto be with you, to teach youand help you along, and youhelp them as well. Alone,left behind, not wantedor needed. How to feelanything more. When youtrust no one not evenyourself.
Mike2006------------------------
Alone
Alone and singleOne alone outcastAshamed or not wantedOr just unknownUnwanted pushed awayDropped off and forgottenHidden away in dark placesAway from all
Or just seen brain deadStrong back but whatIs known of the aloneFor they are alone
No friends and familyIs in name but alienCalled geek or freakAnd family ignoresOr does not wish toKnow or are the onesCalling you freakAshamed that one existsBut termination is lateSo the creature livesHidden away.
AloneSingularOutcastOr unknownAlienShamefulGeek or freakAshamed ofOneScaredUnsure of selfAnd othersRunning fastAnd hardBut to whereFor no oneWelcomes himOr wants himUnless it is dirtyNasty or meanOr taken advantage ofHis or her needTo be wantedEven loved.
Mike2014--------------------
Needy
To be wantedneeded, keptaround and wantedbut oftento be neededseen and appreciatedbut you’re abused, usedand taken advantage of.
Mike(2016)----------------
Outcast
Outcast orwalked out?
Forced outor just never apart?
Human ormore or lesshow to ask orknow what.
Walking alonedown the highwayof life, singlenever partor never welcomeWho can say.
For he is longgone and silentbut none noticefor they neverknow who he wasor even that heexisted or justanother wall flower.
Left to rot in thesummer sun, ornever thrive, forheld in darknessFuck them fortheir selfish ways.
Christ, pity themfor what they areis what they fearworst of all.
Human!
Mike2006-----------
Suicide:
So she cheated on you,gave you a disease incurable,Emptied your bank accountHad you arrested for DUVTook your kid(s) awayTold your friends liesand now they hate you.
Do not give her the joyof killing you too!So put the gun down,Put the pills away,stop annoying that cop,driving fast,drinking like a fish.and piss her off by living!
Mike2006/2015
For a close buddy, sadly I did not get a chanceto say and share it with him, and he .. long gone.It can be I suspect reversed for the femalefriend, been tempted. But may take another bent.
=================PART 2:
Shame
A poemA deedPermissionA knifeA swordA friendSwift cutHead rollsAnd shameEnds, honorRestored andWitnessedSeppeku
Mike Adams2011
(Not a happy poem, it was a survival poem to keep me going, since it takes permission to commit the act of seppeku, and no one knew, and I am out of the military)---------------------
Challenge Me (2006): About wanting and needing to be challenged in my life..
Sit me downknow I existGive me morethan just platitudesand sit in the corneruntil I am done.
I LiveI loveI knowand see
See metouch mehear meknow me
Challenge menever let me go
Mike2006
----------------Happiness
Happinesswhat is it?How can I knowIf I am happyor sad, I justdon't know.
Success,failuresmile orfrown
fear orno fearor just numbAlone or in agroupSingular,many or what?Am I happy,or sad orjust numb?
I just want tofeel, and knowhappinessto smileto have thingspeople andmemories tobe happy about.
and just feelanything isjust a start.
But nowwhat, andhow to goand be happyI like to knowPlease tell meshow mehelp meand notlet me gointo that darkplace aloneand lost,that hellnever again.
Mike2011
----------------
I Will
Beat me, I willWhip me, I willHurt me, I willTease me, I will
I will overcome
Mike Adams2007-------------
Survivors Guilt (2008)
The dead are gone, but what of those left behind?To bury the dead, to record their passing, butto keep going, worse to wonder what if?
I had smiled, to show I loved them? To force themto find help, or even know they needed it, andhow much. Just to let them know you worry, andwish them to be happy, and find a way out of thedarkness, to corner themselves in, or forcedto be in. And get help, peace and life in thelight not death in the dark. Not only of lightand dark but of mind, spirit and love. Meanspeaceful, but not death, for in their passingis left questions of why, what if, trust, pain,guilt and hatred, not just anger at them, and self.
Ignorance is bliss, is far from true, when dealingwith friends’ self-destruction, for in not knowingbrings little bliss.
He or she a friend, not only of genes but of blood and thingsshared, a piece of each other, and of all, who knew them.What hell were they in, to wish for early release from life?To not demand help? We who loved them, did they not trust us,or think us less human/friends or just lost in their depressionand path dark and lonely? Or worse, they did trust us and wefailed them. But all they had to do was, be what we were not.Knowing what they were saying and what is this; we are at a loss.
No one was enough to leave what they left behind,I know it’s selfish to die by gun, pills, poison or life destructive.
Please come back, I miss you so much. Life is never full withoutyou. But I muddle along, plodding to find some purpose to yourleaving. And how to help others not to go the way you went. To saveothers from guilt, for it should have been me who died and not you.You had more to live for than I, but now I am truly old and youare long gone but young always in my mind’s eye.
Mike2008Not complete---------------------------
A Hero Dies Today
Hero or villainor just poor foolsuffering or aspiringacceptance finding fearmisunderstood ordriven away or mad.Not wanted or appreciated,doing all for them,but they drive you away;locked away andforgotten, so why doesthe hero do it?Salvation, penanceacceptance, or allit knows or hopes forand in the end, a herodies today.
Mike2009
==============PART 3:Happy Place
In the DarknessA window opensCross-paned
To a place warmLit byA gentle sunLight defused
Trees old and strongA path to fieldsFull of animalsHealthy and well fed.
Secret placeOr refuge,Dumping ground.
But from trashComes life, hopeAnd healing orJust paths.
It’s no box explodedBut place of growthunchecked or managed?That's another story.
Mike Adams2012
More?----------------The Grail:
I seem to ramblefrom place to place,never staying onin any one place,ever searching,like a knight on quest,for that grail oh so dear,so close but oh so far,almost in sight,but never visible,I go on and on,until the end is here,and it draws near,and I can hear the callof angels sweet,and I shall finally drinkof that cup,so rich and rare a draughtit shall be,for in the end,the cup will hold life,and life is so sweet,and to know this,I quest.
May 1998Mike Adams------------Hugs
What is a hugA meeting of bodyTo bodyOr soul to soulTrust and openOpen to in closeAnd not far.
When the needIs there andNothing elseCompares toA hug, up frontAnd trustingLoving and givenFreely.
Mike2013?
Working on it...---------------------------
Let it Go 2016
Let it go is all I can sayas I think of the pastand what was thereto let it go and livein the now and notlet the past hold me backand control meand leave me there.So let it go andbe a person of the nowand even the futureand not be held backby chains of pain,anger, frustrationand family and deedsundone or never helped.
So if you hearme say LET IT GOnow you know,I am letting it goand not holding mefast to the past.
To find my happy placeand think happy thoughtsand positive thingsand not other thingsand I can let the past go
Mike2016--------------------
Knightly
To love someone not for lustBut to wrap strong armsArmored shield to protectThem from the demons andDangers of an unhappyWorld and see the smileOn their face come backThe deep wounds healedAnd the trust returnAnd know love of anotherFriendship and peaceAnd know they are lovedProtected and safe, allGood and warm, in armsStrong but gently softFirm but open anytimeAs needed and wanted.
Mike Adams2012
For Andreaand many others
--------------------Ride the Wind
To ride the storm,it flies in, filteringmy mind, raising me up andinto the sky to leaveall mortal things behindand ride the wind, to feelit lifting me up, and through me,changing me into a being ofair and light, and ride thewinds and feel all float awayand no longer Earth but nowair and fire.
Mike Adams2011----------------IN CONCLUSION
Accept ME 2017
Accept me for menot for who youexpect me to bewant me to bedemand me to beexpect me to beassume me to bepay me to beand evenbeat me to beor whip me to beor I am supposed to bebut who I amand nothing elseSo accept me for me.NOTHING ELSE!
Mike2016=============Copyright Mike Adams 2016 and earlier.
Cathy Heyworth Harris - Dedicated poetry book to here.Not the only one to inspire me and will see.
PART 11- Depression2- Abandoned3- Alone4- Needy5- Outcast6- Suicide
PART 21- Shame2- Challenge Me3- Happiness4- I Will5- Survivors Guilt6- A Heros Dies Today
PART 31- Happy Place2- The Grail3- Hugs4- Let it Go5- Knightly6- Ride the Wind
Accept Me!
PART 1 - DARK
Depression:
Depression what is it,Why does it hold me backlike a vice or chains strong?What can I do to removeit from my life and go onto bigger and better?to follow my dreams mosthigh on into the sky,but I sit here chainedto earth, like some stoneheld fast by miles of earthnever to see the skyand sun, but from glimpsesshort, only enough to knowI am down deep in mydepression, and not happywith where I am, butwith no way known torelieve me of this burden.What cruel fate to be givena vision, but as well let itbe held in such a gripas mine?
Oh, to the sun I wish toclimb, up into the skylike a bird on wingbut this feeling ofearth keeps me fastI struggle and strainbut I still remaintied to Earth’s coldgrasp; depressionis its name, but morethan that I knowis its effects on me andmy path, crooked andoften dead end isthis path; for whenmy energy is onlyenough to fightthe depression there islittle left for other thingsthan that. But there issome light at the endof this tunnel; deep anddark, what it is I shall seefor this thing is killing meslowly, inch by inch, mileby mile-this depressionis slowly killing whatof me there is that wishesto go on to better things.Pray tell! The light finds mebefore the darknesstotally engulfs me in itscold dark grasp; rendsmy soul from my bodyand casts me to the pileof its latest victim with-out a care of who I wasand what I could havebecome; just that I amdinner for it and mylife was a good fight.But in the end I washis and now my brokensoul lies here on thispile of broken dreamsof mine and others.I crave the light andthe promises madeof my abilities, butstill held fast in chainsmost strong and deadlyto this path. I do plodalong, looking for thatexit that will either saveme or end my life andcast myself on to thatpile so high of brokendreams and lost souls.
Mike Adams1998--------------
Abandoned
Feeling abandoned,neglected, not wanted,no one has patienceto be with you, to teach youand help you along, and youhelp them as well. Alone,left behind, not wantedor needed. How to feelanything more. When youtrust no one not evenyourself.
Mike2006------------------------
Alone
Alone and singleOne alone outcastAshamed or not wantedOr just unknownUnwanted pushed awayDropped off and forgottenHidden away in dark placesAway from all
Or just seen brain deadStrong back but whatIs known of the aloneFor they are alone
No friends and familyIs in name but alienCalled geek or freakAnd family ignoresOr does not wish toKnow or are the onesCalling you freakAshamed that one existsBut termination is lateSo the creature livesHidden away.
AloneSingularOutcastOr unknownAlienShamefulGeek or freakAshamed ofOneScaredUnsure of selfAnd othersRunning fastAnd hardBut to whereFor no oneWelcomes himOr wants himUnless it is dirtyNasty or meanOr taken advantage ofHis or her needTo be wantedEven loved.
Mike2014--------------------
Needy
To be wantedneeded, keptaround and wantedbut oftento be neededseen and appreciatedbut you’re abused, usedand taken advantage of.
Mike(2016)----------------
Outcast
Outcast orwalked out?
Forced outor just never apart?
Human ormore or lesshow to ask orknow what.
Walking alonedown the highwayof life, singlenever partor never welcomeWho can say.
For he is longgone and silentbut none noticefor they neverknow who he wasor even that heexisted or justanother wall flower.
Left to rot in thesummer sun, ornever thrive, forheld in darknessFuck them fortheir selfish ways.
Christ, pity themfor what they areis what they fearworst of all.
Human!
Mike2006-----------
Suicide:
So she cheated on you,gave you a disease incurable,Emptied your bank accountHad you arrested for DUVTook your kid(s) awayTold your friends liesand now they hate you.
Do not give her the joyof killing you too!So put the gun down,Put the pills away,stop annoying that cop,driving fast,drinking like a fish.and piss her off by living!
Mike2006/2015
For a close buddy, sadly I did not get a chanceto say and share it with him, and he .. long gone.It can be I suspect reversed for the femalefriend, been tempted. But may take another bent.
=================PART 2:
Shame
A poemA deedPermissionA knifeA swordA friendSwift cutHead rollsAnd shameEnds, honorRestored andWitnessedSeppeku
Mike Adams2011
(Not a happy poem, it was a survival poem to keep me going, since it takes permission to commit the act of seppeku, and no one knew, and I am out of the military)---------------------
Challenge Me (2006): About wanting and needing to be challenged in my life..
Sit me downknow I existGive me morethan just platitudesand sit in the corneruntil I am done.
I LiveI loveI knowand see
See metouch mehear meknow me
Challenge menever let me go
Mike2006
----------------Happiness
Happinesswhat is it?How can I knowIf I am happyor sad, I justdon't know.
Success,failuresmile orfrown
fear orno fearor just numbAlone or in agroupSingular,many or what?Am I happy,or sad orjust numb?
I just want tofeel, and knowhappinessto smileto have thingspeople andmemories tobe happy about.
and just feelanything isjust a start.
But nowwhat, andhow to goand be happyI like to knowPlease tell meshow mehelp meand notlet me gointo that darkplace aloneand lost,that hellnever again.
Mike2011
----------------
I Will
Beat me, I willWhip me, I willHurt me, I willTease me, I will
I will overcome
Mike Adams2007-------------
Survivors Guilt (2008)
The dead are gone, but what of those left behind?To bury the dead, to record their passing, butto keep going, worse to wonder what if?
I had smiled, to show I loved them? To force themto find help, or even know they needed it, andhow much. Just to let them know you worry, andwish them to be happy, and find a way out of thedarkness, to corner themselves in, or forcedto be in. And get help, peace and life in thelight not death in the dark. Not only of lightand dark but of mind, spirit and love. Meanspeaceful, but not death, for in their passingis left questions of why, what if, trust, pain,guilt and hatred, not just anger at them, and self.
Ignorance is bliss, is far from true, when dealingwith friends’ self-destruction, for in not knowingbrings little bliss.
He or she a friend, not only of genes but of blood and thingsshared, a piece of each other, and of all, who knew them.What hell were they in, to wish for early release from life?To not demand help? We who loved them, did they not trust us,or think us less human/friends or just lost in their depressionand path dark and lonely? Or worse, they did trust us and wefailed them. But all they had to do was, be what we were not.Knowing what they were saying and what is this; we are at a loss.
No one was enough to leave what they left behind,I know it’s selfish to die by gun, pills, poison or life destructive.
Please come back, I miss you so much. Life is never full withoutyou. But I muddle along, plodding to find some purpose to yourleaving. And how to help others not to go the way you went. To saveothers from guilt, for it should have been me who died and not you.You had more to live for than I, but now I am truly old and youare long gone but young always in my mind’s eye.
Mike2008Not complete---------------------------
A Hero Dies Today
Hero or villainor just poor foolsuffering or aspiringacceptance finding fearmisunderstood ordriven away or mad.Not wanted or appreciated,doing all for them,but they drive you away;locked away andforgotten, so why doesthe hero do it?Salvation, penanceacceptance, or allit knows or hopes forand in the end, a herodies today.
Mike2009
==============PART 3:Happy Place
In the DarknessA window opensCross-paned
To a place warmLit byA gentle sunLight defused
Trees old and strongA path to fieldsFull of animalsHealthy and well fed.
Secret placeOr refuge,Dumping ground.
But from trashComes life, hopeAnd healing orJust paths.
It’s no box explodedBut place of growthunchecked or managed?That's another story.
Mike Adams2012
More?----------------The Grail:
I seem to ramblefrom place to place,never staying onin any one place,ever searching,like a knight on quest,for that grail oh so dear,so close but oh so far,almost in sight,but never visible,I go on and on,until the end is here,and it draws near,and I can hear the callof angels sweet,and I shall finally drinkof that cup,so rich and rare a draughtit shall be,for in the end,the cup will hold life,and life is so sweet,and to know this,I quest.
May 1998Mike Adams------------Hugs
What is a hugA meeting of bodyTo bodyOr soul to soulTrust and openOpen to in closeAnd not far.
When the needIs there andNothing elseCompares toA hug, up frontAnd trustingLoving and givenFreely.
Mike2013?
Working on it...---------------------------
Let it Go 2016
Let it go is all I can sayas I think of the pastand what was thereto let it go and livein the now and notlet the past hold me backand control meand leave me there.So let it go andbe a person of the nowand even the futureand not be held backby chains of pain,anger, frustrationand family and deedsundone or never helped.
So if you hearme say LET IT GOnow you know,I am letting it goand not holding mefast to the past.
To find my happy placeand think happy thoughtsand positive thingsand not other thingsand I can let the past go
Mike2016--------------------
Knightly
To love someone not for lustBut to wrap strong armsArmored shield to protectThem from the demons andDangers of an unhappyWorld and see the smileOn their face come backThe deep wounds healedAnd the trust returnAnd know love of anotherFriendship and peaceAnd know they are lovedProtected and safe, allGood and warm, in armsStrong but gently softFirm but open anytimeAs needed and wanted.
Mike Adams2012
For Andreaand many others
--------------------Ride the Wind
To ride the storm,it flies in, filteringmy mind, raising me up andinto the sky to leaveall mortal things behindand ride the wind, to feelit lifting me up, and through me,changing me into a being ofair and light, and ride thewinds and feel all float awayand no longer Earth but nowair and fire.
Mike Adams2011----------------IN CONCLUSION
Accept ME 2017
Accept me for menot for who youexpect me to bewant me to bedemand me to beexpect me to beassume me to bepay me to beand evenbeat me to beor whip me to beor I am supposed to bebut who I amand nothing elseSo accept me for me.NOTHING ELSE!
Mike2016=============Copyright Mike Adams 2016 and earlier.
Cathy Heyworth Harris - Dedicated poetry book to here.Not the only one to inspire me and will see.
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