To you, my dear friend
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Woiler, December 23, 2023
Dearest,
The year ends, another begins in a few days, and it's another journey for me, yet another. I move from imaginary city to imaginary city, from real to real, towards a destination that is never definitive. I leave this year with no serious regrets. Thank you for having been here. Thank you for letting me learn. And goodbye. Goodbye to my friends who are no longer friends, those who ignore me with odious indecency, those who turn away because I no longer think like them, because I act freely. Goodbye assholes.
By writing my wishes for Second Life in the "Close" booklet, I'm closer to my truth than ever, and closer to closing the door on a dead-end world. In an almost divine way, it had the effect of an eye-opener. The reactions and non-reactions of the recipients divided the true friends (philein) of my work from the phonies and the ignoramuses (those who ignore my words). My works have many friends, and I'm happy for them. May this experience be a good omen for what's to come, and may I draw from it the energy to launch myself into the void once again.
Ever since my surgery, I've been teasing death, and of course it terrifies me. But my absolute conviction that it is rigorously impossible for what exists not to exist at all allows me to overcome it a little, to fend off the cries of horror from every cell in my body that goes berserk at the idea of the end of my life on Earth and cries "Every man for himself'".
This situation is both blocking and engaging. Blocking because the thought of death is paralyzing. Engaging because I have nothing left to lose.
So I say it, and I say it only for me, so that it's very clear to me, and this is an open testament of no interest to anyone but myself, as if I were crossing Strasbourg's Cathedral Square naked and scarred, my intimacy exposed to the inhabitants, onlookers and God: for this winter solstice I'm throwing all resentments, mine and those of others, into the abyss of oblivion, in order to focus all my energy on taking care of myself and what I have to shout about. In truth, I've never had anything to lose, since I own nothing but myself.
My dear friend, tell me how you are, where you are, where you want to live.
With love,